to break up or not?

Pee

I don't know whether the second guy is right for you, but I do know that you shouldn't be with the first. You need to end it. That's what you knew we'd say when you posted, didn't you?

Best of luck. It is hard, but it is def easier in the long run.

Inkedkitten

thanks alot guys

yep I knew this was the answer pee...just needed to know I was doing the right thing. Probably will end it tonight if I see him...any advice on how to do it gently? I can't take anymore drama

Jokaty82

Get out and Get out quick!!!

I have been in 2 relationships where this has happened. In the first horrible one I stayed 15 months longer than I should have done. He said he would 'kill himself if I ever left him'. I was 20, very young and didnt want to hurt anyone so I stayed with him. When I broke up with him it was awful, he was a mess, he used to come outside my house, text me constantly, send me flowers. I found it all a bit creepy. In the end he stopped. I felt sooooooooooooo much better. I felt free and young. He dragged me down and I felt old before my time.

Regardless of this second bloke, and you really should remove him from the picture for the time being you have to do the right thing. You are not doing your current boyf any favours by staying with him out of pity. He WILL move on and he WILL find someone new, probably someone who he loves more than you, he just wont be able to see that now.

Be single for a bit and enjoy yourself, be 20 and have fun with your friends. If anything happens with this other guy then great, but dont jump from one thing to another. You need time to be you, and if this new guy turns out to really like you, he will take things slowly so you can have fun with him.

I wish you all the best!

DKLS

Inkedkitten wrote: »

thanks alot guys

yep I knew this was the answer pee...just needed to know I was doing the right thing. Probably will end it tonight if I see him...any advice on how to do it gently? I can't take anymore drama

How about "You dont moisten the parts that hunks do, yer chucked"

or more sensibly, just tell him straight out, no messing or trying to soft soap it, And whatever you say, dont say "Its not you its me"

pretzelnut

Be honest, Just tell him what you've told us (minus the hunk part).

He's probably expecting it anyway.

blue_ashleigh

There's no point staying in a relationship which has no future.
Tell him that you're not sure you want to be in a serious relationship right now...
Just lie! It's probably not the best 'moral' advice but it's going to be a little easier on him if you make up some rubbish about 'not wanting to be tied down', 'want to focus on studies/ career...', 'have urges to travel'...
I would advise not telling him you don't fancy him

Inkedkitten

he already knows i don't fancy him, partly cos I'm obviously not giving him attention. Also he dragged it outta me last time we broke up.

Wish me luck! thanks alot all of you

jenhug

good luck!

Inkedkitten

It's done

Many thanks for you're advice everyone. Was a bit long n drawn out....but now its over and I've just gotta pick up the pieces n move on.

Valli

Take it from someone who's been there and has the decree absolute to prove it - you only live once - second best isn't good enough.
Right now I am on my own - have been for 5 years :eek: BUT still better than 'living a lie' and putting up with an inadequate relationship ... and I am MUCH older than you...
don't be in too much of a rush to find someone else. get your ex out of your system first.
Good luck