to break up or not?

Inkedkitten · 10 June 2009 at 6:32PM

So about 2 months ago my boyfriend and I broke up. One of the main reasons was the lack of sexual chemistry and me not finding him attractive anymore. We were apart for 2 weeks and decided to get back together....I'm now regretting this. We still haven't slept together, I'm only 20 so it's not like my parts have fallen out and I can't...I'm just not feeling him.

Then around the same time I broke up with him I saw this gorgeous guy, and see him most weekends when I'm out. He is physically my ideal guy, whether or not he is in all the other departments I don't know! Then a friend of mine told me he has a girlfriend so I gave up the drooling. However I went to a club this weekend and who's there but him and his friends. This guy was being a !!!!! to me and my friend, so he stepped in n told him to beat it, and then had a small chat with each other. So why after so many weeks of seeing each other does he finally decide to be the knight in shining amour. I didn't think he even knows I exist. We sat and talked to his friends but he was quite quiet. We were leaving and when i walked passed him he gave me a huge smile and we said bye. I know I'm reading into this, and the whole infatuation thing is taking over. I know I couldn't have him even if I wanted to, so am I just yearning for him thinking the grass is greener? I keep having to stop myself looking at his profile, and not sending a message n being lame! Should I just end my current relationship and enjoy being single? Or keep trying. Felt like this for about 6 months...I just can't bear to break his heart again. Either way I'll be upset and not be getting what I want from a relationship.

Thanks if you read til here, really it's great to get it off my chest

busiscoming2 · 10 June 2009 at 6:35PM

Whatever happens with the other guy, you should end it with your current fella.

ameliarate · 10 June 2009 at 6:39PM

busiscoming2 wrote: »

Whatever happens with the other guy, you should end it with your current fella.

I agree, as much as it may hurt him you have to do the right thing for you.

SuziQ · 10 June 2009 at 6:42PM

busiscoming2 wrote: »

Whatever happens with the other guy, you should end it with your current fella.

Agree totally. I tried over a couple of years to make a relationship work with a really great guy,but he was just too 'nice' for me and I am ashamed to say I ended up really messing him about,finishing with him,going out with other guys and then going back to the first guy each time-cos he let me! If it's not right-if the chemistry isn't there-it never will be imo. You owe it to him to let him find someone who won't feel he is second best-and you will then be releasing yourself to find someone who really rocks your boat! For all you know,the other fella might know you are currently with someone whereas if you split-something might happen with him? Either way you shouldn't stay with someone when you know they really aren't for you.

jenhug · 10 June 2009 at 6:43PM

Its not fair to string him along if you really don't feel that way, and 20 is too young to be in a celibate relationship!
Get a picture of the hunk so we can all drool!

never_enough · 10 June 2009 at 6:54PM

Agree with previous posters, you need to get out of your current relationship....then enjoy yourself & see what happens. Don't be in too much of a rush to be with someone else, or at least give yourself some space/time to just have fun. Am sure you know that looks aren't everything, but chemistry most certainly is...

Have fun!

robbiecaratiger · 10 June 2009 at 7:57PM

You've given it a 2nd chance, and you're still not feeling it for your boyfriend, so its time to move on i'm afraid.

You're young, single. Enjoy being footloose and fancy-free. Plenty more pebbles on the beach before you come across "The one".

Don't hang yourself out for this other guy too. As I say, plenty of lads out there. Enjoy for a while !!

pretzelnut · 10 June 2009 at 8:13PM

Move on - its obviously not working.

Your too young to be worrying about dealing with complicated relationships. I made that mistake and missed most of those good years because of it.

Please dont just go for the 1st guy that takes your fancy - usually this is the start of a very bad cycle.

Shop around so to speak, your an MSE'r you ned to make sure your getting good value, lol.

diable · 10 June 2009 at 8:34PM

You are still young and if a relationship is not working and you are not happy then get out of it, you will be doing him a favour as well.

Mips · 10 June 2009 at 8:45PM

Aged 20 it should be sex 5 times a day - no less!

I think you really need to do your bloke a favour and set him free for someone who WILL love him and WILL screw his brains out

Dinah93 · 11 June 2009 at 4:48PM

Life's too short, leave the bf and be on your own for a while. When the right guy does come along you'll be ready, but this other bloke is currently attached, and if he did cheat on her with you he'd be scum anyway, so you really have to cast your net a bit wider.