Please help me to be a scrooge

Willsnarf1983

SueP19 wrote: »

Sorry I not sure I understand???

To answer you SOA question its a statement of affairs, if you use Makesenseofcards
It will help to include those things that come along once a year and to try and work out what you are really spending.

As for Payment A Day (PAD) its a thread here that you join and promsie to pay a sum of your debts every day, heres the link PAD
I have only just joined and I am hoping it will help me stay focused:T

Not sure why you quoted me and then answered random questions?

I was basically saying you can't call the OP the responsible adult of the partnership when she was blowing money on ebay and catalogues and slate the OH for his spending (whether it be responsible or not)

Will

lynzpower

Willsnarf1983 wrote: »

Not sure why you quoted me and then answered random questions?

I was basically saying you can't call the OP the responsible adult of the partnership when she was blowing money on ebay and catalogues and slate the OH for his spending (whether it be responsible or not)

Will

Thats myg feeling too will. Also it stands to reason that you cant have one partner scrimping and the other spending money on all sorts ( did he need that Xbox, could have have got one free, could he have bought a 2nd hand one)

Im also curious as to how you provide for the children. Can I ask why "you" seem to be responsbile for clothing them out of "your money" do you not as a couple approach these sort of costs together?

SueP19

Willsnarf1983

I quoted you because you were quoting me and commenting on something I had posted and I did not understand "OP" I do now and understand what you were saying.................by responsible I was referring to who organises paying the bills.
I thought that the point of this thread was to help Wishiwasquidsin?? As to your comments on my random sentences after your quote, if you had read the post fully you would have seen that there were several question that the OP had asked that no one had answered yet and had been missed.


Wishiwasquidsin, congratulations on your weight loss, regardless of whether you are in debt or not you should hold your head high, losing weight shows that you can set your mind to something and stick to it, now all you have to do is apply this to your debts. Like myself you do need to try and get your OH to help. Post your SOA on here I am sure people will be able to help

wishiwasquidsin

lynzpower wrote: »

Thats myg feeling too will. Also it stands to reason that you cant have one partner scrimping and the other spending money on all sorts ( did he need that Xbox, could have have got one free, could he have bought a 2nd hand one)

Im also curious as to how you provide for the children. Can I ask why "you" seem to be responsbile for clothing them out of "your money" do you not as a couple approach these sort of costs together?

I said to my HO about what we owe on stuff
Ive made a start the next directorys are in the bin, my cards are cut up, Still need to swop the accounts (only just got on here as hes taken his mum to tescos got basically an hour or so before hes back still got house work to do) Did i say he doesn't know Ive joined :rolleyes::j he'd say why are you talking to a bunch of strangers about our problems. he just thinks Im a snooper:D
Need time to swop them over look at what I owe to a SOA.

So how does the payment a day work??
do I pay the min payments on all the debts then 90p a day on very one or pay the min on them all, then a payment a day the one with the most owed or highest intrest rate and takle each one that way.

When it comes to the clothes i buy 90% of the kids clothes he will buy some of them. One thing can be said I put £2 a week away for each child for shoes then when they need them I do have the money for the shoes:T

moo2moo

Do you really want to be a scrooge? Or just want a change in lifestyle? You can dress your daughters head to toe in Next but really does any one else know that they are Next clothes more importantly does any one other than you care that they're Next clothes? Take a wander round Primark, or Asda or Tesco, they all stock fabulous childrens clothes at a fraction of the price. Do you really need to pay £25 for a childs skirt when you can get several complete outfits for that amount and have change and all without paying for delivery. Go armed with a list of things they actually need and don't buy anything thats not on the list just because its cute.

If you really have to have Next clothes then buy them from E-bay. You'll pay a fraction of the price.

I think you need to get a few things straight in your own mind. Firstly you say"The debt Im in is mine we dont owe anything on a joint bases." and then you go on to say "I said to my HO about what we owe on stuff".

If he has no debts and is solvent enough to purchase a PSP then why shouldn't he? Conversly if you can't afford the debts you have then thats an issue that needs addressing between you. I get the impression this is a relationship issue rather than a debt problem, Between you you have sufficient funds to meet the debt but they aren't apportioned to where they are needed. A statement of affairs would help to show him whats going out and where even if you don't post it on-line.

ThinkingOfLinking

I assume you're not working at the moment (not a criticism; I'm not either). How about doing some online surveys for cash/vouchers? Look on these forums in the Up Your Income thread. Same goes for Mystery Shopping.

Are you getting all the benefits/tax credits you're entitled to?

Ask Next to stop sending you catalogues. Look at your budget, see if you can afford to repay more than you already are.

Sit down with your DH and make sure he's aware of how things lie, eg that you're broke and need to make cutbacks; this will include some luxury items from the weekly shop. Buy in bulk (eg milk, bread) and freeze.

Try buying a slow-cooker; a 6.5litre one feeds a big family, and is virtually efortless, cheap, easy, tasty meals. It also means you can buy cheaper cuts of meat as it makes anything gloriously succulent, tender and flavoursome.

Planning meals really saves money. Eg sit down once a week and decide what you're all going to have that week. Also, try the Downshift Challenge posted on these forums, eg if you buy Heinz beans, try Asda own brand. If you buy own brand, try Smart Price.

minuettoallegretto

Congratulations on your weight loss first of all - that took real effort.
Now you've got your next challenge - those debts!
Great advice already on here - I've got some great ideas from it!
Make sure you're signed up for the weekly email, there's something in each one for most people.
Keep positive, and keep checking all over this site - I'd recommend a good session looking through the old-style board.
Can you sew? I make all my own skirts from old curtains/duvet covers bought from charity shops - no-one else has a wardrobe like it lol. You could do a skirt for each of your girls and yourself for just a few pounds that way.
Best of luck.

voucherista

Firstly I have to say I've only skimmed through the thread as I am work, but it seems to me that you to make sure that your OH is on the same wavelength as you and you are both moving towards the same goals.

You are obviously making an effort to change your ways but this will have to be a family effort.

As much as you may not like it, you (as a family) really shouldn't be buying non-essential treats (like his PSP/general extra things in the shopping basket) whilst you still have other debts to pay (like your Next card).

I think it's pretty obvious that all your efforts should go on to getting these cleared first.

I know the hardest thing will be cutting back on things for your kids, but in the long run it will obvioulsy be better for them too. I'm not sure on their ages, but if you make them aware that money needs to be saved before new things can be bought then you will be teaching them a valuable life lesson early on.

Anyway, good luck and keep up your efforts!

nelinuk

I agree that there seems to be some relationship issues here, and OH does not fully understand (or has not had it fully explained to him) the extent of the problem. Although, if he does and still expects you to pay 90% of the kids' clothes and extra bits and pieces when you're at the shops and buying groceries, then there is a real problem.

If the debt that you want to clear is yours alone, then every time he wants the extra goodies/groceries/whatever, make him pay for them. He needs to take some responsibility in the relationship and cannot continue to be a financial drain on you when you've resolved to clear your debt.

Do a budget. Work out what your costs are for NECESSARY groceries and the like, and both contribute half into a joint account. Anything extra that either party wants, that party pays for.

Sign up for newsletters with voucher deals and free samples. I haven't paid for moisturiser for about two months by sending away for free samples. My friends have also gotten into the habit of giving me any samples they get too - and one who was overseas brought me back the toiletries from her flight and hotel! It sounds super cheapskate, but it's the only way.

But only use the vouchers if it's something you need, not just because it's two-for-one. I agree with another poster that it does seem there has been a serious lack of willpower and that you have been making excuses.

Get started - TODAY - and don't give up. Once you start to make progress it will inspire you to keep going. Just like losing weight - and you achieved that. So you can do it!

fordrowland

Hi,i know its not easy but you need to sit down and look at your finances,ive had too,write down everything you owe EVERYTHING,and then make yourself a budget,i dont know what i would have done without martin lewis budget planner i put everything down and you need the real figures not the ones that pop into your head. also get rid of the catalouge i wrote to mine and told them to take me of there mailing list no catalouge no spend ,you need to pay the amount you owe plus about another £8 to cover the interest mine are coming down now and i will be closing my accounts and saying BON VOYAGE TO THEM, keep on smiling