Son and girlfriend

doelani

My 20 year old son always has a girlfriend, some last a few days and some for weeks. never anything serious and I have only ever met a few of them but now...................he ahs a new one who has her own house. He has stayed there 5 nights out of last 7 !!!! Ok I know the novelty of having their own place to ............well you know what ........if probally good but I feel he is spending to mcuh time there. I have not met this girl, know nothing about her apart form her name and where she lives. The first night he stayed out and never told me, I always like to know where they are in case of emergency etc lol since that he has texted each night to tell me he is staying out but just seems to much to soon.

I know I cannot tell him he is not allowed to stay out, he is an adult but just worried he is going to get hurt. He is very immature and could be easily hurt.

Sometimes I hate being a mother !!!!!!!!!

dieselhead

He is 20!! Sorry to sound surprised but that sounds perfectly normal to me, it sounds like he is really in love and really enjoying being with his girlfriend, maybe she is 'the one!' Perhaps she isn't but we all have to love and loose. I think its absoutley right that he should text you to let you know that he isn't coming home but other than that I can't see a problem! I'm sure when he is good and ready he will introduce you to her, but in the mean time they are probably just enjoying being in love (gosh I am such a romantic!)

(I wish I was in love!)

epsilondraconis

Why not just have a chat with him. Ensure he knows that you are happy for him to lead his own life, but at the same time, you want to ensure he is okay.

Lokolo

I am 20 and I wish I could stay at my gfs..... nothing against my mother of course lol.

doelani

thanks for the replies, i really think it is more about sex than " love".

Lokolo wrote: »

I am 20 and I wish I could stay at my gfs..... nothing against my mother of course lol.

I guess I am lucky that is it only nwo he has started styaing out overnight, just wish it was not everynight lol

Leedslad_3

Just leave him to it, just ask him that he texts you if he is not coming home. I think thats the least he can do out of respect if he is living with you,

I know its an awkward situation to be in, But as a parent sometimes you have to let him make jis own mistakes and be there to pick up the pieces.

Its good that as his mother your worried about him but just give him space and he will be mroe likely to tell you whats happening than if you smother him.

Good luckl

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

he's 20 - this is when they have most fun. I was 16 when i ended up staying (somehow or other) with my oh night after night...i'd say i was staying at a mates or my dads, he'd say he was staying at his friends but we'd wait till everyone had gone to bed and stay at his, we'd pretend we'd got there that morn (we were young and thought we were fooling everyone, lol). Anyway to cut a long story short, it was my first sexual partner, yes we were prob at it like rabbits and i tell ya nobody thought it'd last past a couple of weeks, in fact i was constantly told off or told to be careful or stop being so foolish about us but 8 years on and we are still together, engaged, in our own home and have a beautiful child. And still so very loved up!

I know this isn't the case for everyone but if he is enjoying himself and still letting you know where he is and he is safe id say let him be. He's a big boy and i'm sure will be able to learn from any mistakes.

Good luck!

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

Hmm sounds to me like he has found a mature (not meaning older as such) girl as she is responsible enough to have her own place and run it/work/pay bills (hopefully).

Sounds like a catch, if you say he is pretty immature, then this mught just give him the boost he needs to mature a bit!

I'm glad your a mum that cares so much though, its nice to see.

x

GonzoAston

I echo the other replies to

Its good that he has the decency to let you know he's staying out, so you know he's ok. It may just be sex, and not love, but we've all been 20 at one time and know how it is

He may not want to introduce you to her yet, as he may want to see how it goes first. You know how its all sex and talking when you first get with someone (I miss that )

It wont stop you worrying about him. He will always be your baby, just let him have his space and he will probably talk to you about it at some point

BritRael

hmmm...sounds like me when I was his age. Lucky b***er!

The thing is, (years ago anyway ) most fella's would have left their parents home before they reached 20, and when moved out, they wouldn't let you know what they're doing at all..

Enjoy your time with him, because (hopefully;)) in the not-too-distant-future he'll be gone and you'll see even less of him.

madnessandmayhem

Hi,
Perhaps so you feel a bit better about him spending time with her, you could invite her over for dinner (or a bbq with this nice weather we've been having!!) and just ask him to send you a quick text to let you know when he's not coming home. I think this is normal of most 20 year olds.......I left home at 18 and moved 150 miles away to go to uni, and I didn't tell my mum what I was doing every day/night! While at uni I met my hubby, and at 20 we were married and had our first son. We've now been together 8 1/2 years, married nearly 7, we have 2 boys and own our own house (well when we've finished paying the HUGE mortgage lol) I know he'll always be your baby, but he is an adult and needs to be able to learn about the world himself, and as unpleasant as it can be, if he does get hurt then it will be a learning curve for him!...................and you never know she could be 'THE ONE'!!!!!