i dont know what to do.

latina_2

My daughter is now 2 and i still resent him for how awful he was with me during my pregnancy, one day he loved me, the next day he wanted to be alone... my pregnancy was like that. he even broke up with me when i was in painful labour ( 24 hs).
I forgave him for different things... flirting with people on the internet,,. !!!!!!... dating web sites.. then telling me that he fancied his friend. i always forgave him for everything, because he would say he is sorry.
now he left me every day with my daughter, every night... he only works part time but he is never here, every day he goes out with friends for drinks.. etc...
Emotionally i am very sad, i have no self esteem, i used to be kind of trophy, for my looks and that, but after i gained weight with the pregnancy he told me he didnt fancy me anymore, he wasnt attractive to me, and slept in the other room. now i have managed to loose weight but i still feel unwanted and unloved,
I hate watching movies or going to the pictures with him, because EVERY time after the movie finishes, he gets cold with me, then tells me that he would like to meet other people, he fancy the actress in the movie and all that crap. he says things about them that he never says about me, make me feel like a piece of crap. On the other hand, i can see that other men find me attractive, well when im not putting myself down, like i do often. I feel like there is not way out, i've being with him because of my daughter, but im falling into pieces, i am so sad and depressed all the time that sometimes i hate myself because i take on her, when he is mean to me or just acts so careless.
i feel so sad, because i have no family here, no friends, no nothing, i wish i could fly away. i feel like i had done everything for a person and i've got nothing back.

louisewh123

Hi Latina,

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. If you feeling really lonely why not join a local mummys club or play group? That way you could meet people with kids too and not feel so alone. If you are feeling really depressed go an talk to your doctor and ask to be refered for counciling - you might feel better to talk to someone. Do call home/write?

onetomany

yea where abouts do you live?

latina_2

i live in wales, i tried taking me girl swimming, but sometimes no one turns up ( i mean in the child seccions)
my mother in law says i should contact my GP, but i went to see him some weeks ago, and he says it is normal to feel like this sometimes.
i call home every week but still is not the same, i would leave everything to go back to my family but that would mean leaving my daughter and i cant do that.
i cant get out of this situation , i think i should be brave enough and move out , i dont want to be with him anymore, he deppreses me. he keeps promising he will change but that wont happen, i know that.

BitterAndTwisted

We all make mistakes but there is nothing written anywhere which says we have to pay for them forever.

You are not shackled to this dreadfully uncaring and hurtful man, you can leave him. In your position I would be making plans for a life elsewhere for yourself and your daughter. You deserve much better and if you don't leave you won't find it.

It must be dreadful not having family or good friends close by to help and support you.

Is there a Gingerbread branch anywhere near where you live?

latina_2

you are right, i have to sort myself out, i will go to the doctor next week to see if i can get something for depression. what is a gingerbread branch ? i never heard of it.

hot.chick

sorry if this sounds harsh.....

Can't you save up some money no matter how long it takes, and take your daughter and go home where you will feel loved?

mrcow

I don't understand why you'd have to leave your daughter? Surely you are 100% entitled to take her wherever you go?

This guy sounds like an a.ss tbh. And you sound like you need a friend. A proper friend.....to support you and to be a sounding post/shoulder to lean on. Do you have anyone like that?

glitterycloud

I agree with the post above, i currently live in a foreign country with my husband. If he was like your partner i would have no issues with saving money secretly then talking with partner and if nothing changes I would tell him that I am leaving him and the country. Would he change his ways if he knew you were serious about moving back and taking the child? If not, move back with family and friends you need the love and support of them.

BitterAndTwisted

Guapa Latina, Gingerbread is a charitable organisation run by and for single parents. They have an office in Cardiff Bay, I've just Googled it. Even if you're not a single-parent now you might be, and I hope sooner rather than later. A group like this will enable you to meet other people in the same situation and build up a network of support, and maybe new friends and it sounds like you could certainly use a couple of those.

Start saving money out of your housekeeping every week to prepare for your escape to a better life for you and your child. I would.

Keeping_Motivated

I'm sorry to hear about your situation that actually sounds like abuse to me.

Does the end of your first post say you take it out on your daughter when your husband is mean to you? If so you need to get help as soon as possible for yours and your daughters sake.

Have you asked him if he really thinks these awful things about you and fancies his friend and everyone else for that matter why is he still with you?

You need to dig deep and remember your strengths, because they are still there just been forgotten about, and then you need to set some goals and take small positive steps towards them. It will take time but you can get there.

Good luck