I really need a hug...

DrFluffy

Despite the fear of major backlash - may be the issue is one you mentioned: you're turning in to Bridezilla! Your post smacks of it... "Guidelines for what I wanted for my hen" etc...

My best friend turned in to the most controlling nasty !!!!! when she was planning her wedding... True it's your day and you want the day you've always dreamed of, but how are you treating your friends to get it? There's only so much someone can take before t's easier to ignore you!

Sammy_Girl

Im sorry you're having a rough time MFG

I've had feelings at times that I'm the only one who's planning our wedding. But I've also found that if others get too involved I don't like it! Control freak? Me? Never!!

What I'm trying to say is that its yours and H2B's big day, so if others don't want to help them screw them. Don't rely on others to plan your big day - you and H2B can do that perfectly yourselves. If they offer to help then great - if not then it's not worth getting stressed over. At the end of the day, it is a huuuuge day for you but its not as important to them.

I'm having 5 BMs and all I want them to do is fit into their dresses and make sure their hair and make up is looking good. They have organised the hen party amongst themselves - but thats all I want them to do.

Chin up and feel free to rant on here when you feel like it. Fwiw, I'm normally quite a stressy person (still am at work) but touch wood I'm not really stressing about the wedding. You will get there - and it will be the perfect day

Floss

val_84 wrote: »

Sack them all and we will all do a hen night for you on here!!!!

Ooh, what a fab idea - virtual hen nights....no pink fluffy handcuffs (unless you really want them!), no odd looking cocktails, nobody being sick in their handbag!!

rinroo

I can sympathise with where your coming from, but tbh I think you need to take a deep breath and calm down then re-assess everything.

My sil2b is getting married in Oct and h2b family think we are taking all the attention off her so are refusing to even acknowledge our wedding plans until after then - but thats a whole other story.

My eldest sis is my chief bridesmaid and even though I trust her with my life I will still oversee all the planning for the hen do, my other 2 sisters are also bridesmaids and trying to get us all together to even decide on a colour let alone a style of dress is proving to be a bit a bit tricky due to families and work commitments but we will sort it soon - we have too!.

Your wedding wont be of up most importance to other people and you have to realise that, even though your special day is the most important thing in your life its often seen as just another party to others so they dont treat it with the same importance as you do.

I know you want everyone Ooohing and Aaahhing over your plans and getting all excited but some people just dont until the very last minute. I wouldn't take anything to chance and will organise and do everything my self as i am a little ocd like that.

I would really think long and hard about your bridesmaids though as if they haven't got the time for you why should you choose them and have them as your bridesmaids especially with the expense that comes along with it. I would rather have none that be constantly ignored even if i desperately needed them, i would sort something else.

I know its stressful but I think you need to sleep on it and then sit down with you h2b and re assess things.

Ruthie5

I really sympathise, as I've been feeling this way to an extent. I do think you need to try and chill though. It sounds as though you're trying to be mega organised and galvanise everyone, but they all have their own stuff going on and perhaps aren't ready to gear up for your wedding. There's no point making yourself miserable about it. Why don't you just decide what kind of Hen night you want, tell people what the plan is and they can come or not. I've had to recognise and resist my Bridezilla tendencies, so that I can enjoy the run-up to my wedding and not be a big ball of stress.

luxor4t

Floss wrote: »

Ooh, what a fab idea - virtual hen nights....no pink fluffy handcuffs (unless you really want them!), no odd looking cocktails, nobody being sick in their handbag!!

Bother, I was looking forward to that ....:p

May I start the dirty stories?
ahem,..."the boy fell in the mud"
(:o, I forgot that I don't know any .....)

sal-ad_daze

val_84 wrote: »

Sack them all and we will all do a hen night for you on here!!!!



PS :grouphug:

A fab idea!:T
We did this for a friend on another forum I lurk on and it was a hoot!
We 'youtubed' the disco, we had virtual male dancers courtesy of google image search, :jplenty of drinks the same way.:beer:
3 hours of fun and mayhem, it was the best hen night I'd ever been too! lol

Sending hugs to you and to Hels, I'm sure things will turn out on the day and you will have a day to remember!

trina2010

hey MFG, ive been following your journey this last while in your various posts and you really are up against it.
try not to stress the little things. maybe consider forgetting your hen party organised by your friends?? i think you will have a far better send off with your band mates, maybe invite your friends along to that instead and see if they turn up? and also have that virtual hen night on here also ill bring some virtual money to stick in the virtual dancers g string!

you say you have all of your bridesmaids email addresses? why not send an email and let them know how you feel, obviously keep it as light hearted as you can but get your point across. you know, i understand that you have your own stuff going on, but im putting a lot of effort and stress into planning the wedding for everyone and would appreciate a bit of support etc.

i hope this helps and that you can make them understand, but maybe its a case of (for some of them anyway) that they have never been in the situation of planning a wedding and dont understand the amount of work that goes into it.

Two of our best friends are getting married in 2 weeks time and even I almost killed his best man....we got a strange text from the groom a couple of weeks back saying the stag do was cancelled, saying it was because of wedding stuff and no money etc. a couple of days later it was back on. So my OH went along, it turned out that his best man had decided he was too depressed to organise or turn up to the stag do...so it went ahead without him in either respect and they all had a great time.
So anything can be saved, dont let anyone destroy your enjoyment of the experience.

Good luck

Trina
xxx

mookybargirl

Sending big hugs to you. Sound like you're organising everything all by yourself, and with bridesmaids, this is supposed to help you be less stressed, not more! Is there anyone else you can ask to step in? Or could you drop everyone and just have a MOH and pick who'll give you the most support.

Can I ask when you wedding date is? Is it coming up soon?

val_84

luxor4t wrote: »

Bother, I was looking forward to that ....:p

May I start the dirty stories?
ahem,..."the boy fell in the mud"
(:o, I forgot that I don't know any .....)

lol, ME TOO!!!! although not my handbag obviously...also quite like odd looking cocktails!