I have not got a MSE OH!!!!

Simbacat

I could scream!!!

Why can't I convince my OH that being 'careful with the pennies is the right thing to do?

We are not in a bad position, both in decent enough jobs with a reasonable income but that is no excuse for throwing money away but I can't make him see that.

For example - we have Sky Multi room and the full Sky package. I can't remember the last time we watched Sky in the spare room and certainly can't remember the last time we used Sky Movies. He will not cancel though 'just in case'. Shopping with him is a nightmare - our 2 children have both left home but we now spend more on the weekly shop than when they were here. Every week I empty the fridge of out of date food he decided we desperately needed, before going out to fill it up with more food we obviously cannot live without.

I have sat down with him many times to try to show him how much we could save if he was more careful but it is a complete waste of time. He lives by the mantra 'I could be dead tomorrow so why worry about a few pennies here and there'.

It isn't a case of being mean - I am as capable as anyone of spending when necessary. We don't go without anything we need or in fact want, but to spend just for the sake of spending eats away at me!!!!!!!

Anyone else 'suffer' an OH like this? :rolleyes:

whitewing

I think I'd say, if you're going to be dead tomorrow then I'm going to downgrade the Sky package!

I would tell him that I am going to cancel it and see how we get on without it, and then do it. You can always upgrade it again if necessary.

Foodwise, could you take some back the next day for a refund? A pain and obviously you can't do that for refrigerated food.

Move any savings made to a separate account, and then use that for something special so he gets 'rewarded'.

My DH still struggles with my wish to overpay the mortgage at times. But we bumble along together gradually getting more MSE. And he's quite good at sticking too it in my moments of weakness.

Zazen999

a - Use it or lose it on the Sky front - the only ones laughing at you are Sky themselves.

b - Keep a list of what you USE and replace it. Don't take him shopping. Don't go without the list. Keep the receipts and if he gets stuff that is chucked, add it up and put 'Money Wasted' log on the noticeboard. Or before the next shop - take out all the food that will be chucked when the new food comes and tell him it needs to be used tonight and what is he cooking you with it? Or don't shop until it is all gone.

Chance would be a fine thing of wasting food in our house....my OH gets stuff he loves and scoffs it before I get a chance.

We are pretty well off at the moment [but of course it is a recession and prices are going up], and although we like our treats, we have really cut down because I like my money in my bank account, not in anyone else's! All that saving helps towards a holiday - perhaps he doesn't have forward thinking and short term goals would help.

wannabe_sybil

Re Sky - we only watch Sky Sport when darling father visits. So we wait until he is visiting and then get Sky Sport switched on. There has never been any trouble with that. You have to have it for thirty days, then you can just ring up and cancel.

My experience is that if your husband suddenly has a desperate need to watch a film then as long as he rings up a little while before he will have no trouble getting it put on.

You could try working out how much the extra packages are costing per day and keep a conspicuous tally of each day that they are not used and total it up each month. You could also try working out how many hours he works to pay for that.

Personally I wouldn't go shopping with my dear heart for groceries. We always end up near to murder :rolleyes:

Treading_Water

Simbacat wrote: »

I could scream!!!

I have sat down with him many times to try to show him how much we could save if he was more careful but it is a complete waste of time. He lives by the mantra 'I could be dead tomorrow so why worry about a few pennies here and there'.

:rolleyes:

Sounds just like mine. He doesn't want to be "the richest man in the cemetary"!:(

And although we have some funds tucked away, its not the best time to access them so I want to leave them alone and have them to fall back on. He thinks that as long as our debts are covered by the investments why worry.:eek::eek: And why on earth should we have to scrimp now when it will all come together eventually.

Geenie

Tell him, aye he could be dead tomorrow, but on the other hand he could have years if not decades left to live! How is the lifestyle he so loves now going to continue when retirement is upon you both and the same level of money coming in no longer exists! Are the pensions, if they even still exist by then, going to deliver the same amount each month? :rolleyes:

I would sit him down, go through how much you spend each month on what you have coming into the house at present, then see how much you are expecting to get once retired roughly! That alone may make him realise that saving is important for the future. Good luck.

LabLover

I posted a thread like this not that long ago. My OH is exactly the same :mad: we are comfortable with the money we have and have no debts but he cant seem to see that we could have so much more if we just cut back. He is of exact same frame of mind as your OH that he could die 2moro so why worry. I must say I took over the shopping because my OH would not entertain the idea of buying own brand food , what if someone looked in our trolley and saw that we buy cheap food :eek: So I do the shopping alone which is a pain but it means I can substitute and he doesnt know any better infact he has even commented on things tasting nicer :T We keep money seperate now and pay in half for everything but I put foot down at paying half the sky because all the programmes I watch you get the channels thru didgy box so he soon cancelled that when he had to pay whole lot by himself. I dont know how to copy the link to my thread because people had some good advice for me . My problem was slightly different because Im trying to save for a mortgage and my OH hasnt put a penny into the pot , but Im sure you will get plenty of good advice as well , Good luck !!

belfastgirl23

I don't think you can go at these things head on. You need to go at them sideways. On the groceries, can you decide to do online shopping for a while? it can be well worth the cost of the delivery to keep your DH out of the shops (I talk from experience!). Can you tell him he needs to lose weight and needs to think about eating properly (thus more home cooking and hopefully less expensive waste)? Could you make the green/environmental argument about food waste? What are the issues that might turn him on to this? The biggest single strategy being keep him out of the shops!!

Another strategy is to think about something he wants but kind of can't afford - whether it's a new TV or a good holiday or whatever. And point out to him that as long as you throw away money on these things then you won't have it for that. I know that really worked with my OH when I explained that if we spend less money on pointless c**p and throw it at the mortgage then we can achieve our end goal of buying a place abroad sooner.

Finally though you need to accept that there will be compromises along the way and you will have to give in on some stuff too.

PS though it sounds to me like he's a man who needs a hobby! This sounds like boredom shopping to me and I should know being a classic boredom shopper myself.

sidefx

If you don't use sky, just cancel it. If he doesn't use it he won't even notice.

Do the supermarket shopping on your own. I detest waste and it would drive me mad throwing things away:mad:. Maybe you should just leave it in the fridge until it gets used up. Tell him you don't need to buy much because the fridge is already full.

claire1234

defo cancel the sky -- id cancel it alltogether or downgrade, think of what you can be saving, we only had sky so when the kids came they could watch there channels but they never visit anymore so we have a virgin package for around £40 (telephone internet and tv).

with the shopping if you usually do weekly shops id try a month of doing the shopping yourself, do you drive so you can get it yourself?
if get what you think to fill the fridge but without throwing anything away and without it noticing and then when its getting empty do a top up i doubt he`ll notice and you`ll save money and wont be thowing anything away,
i do all the shopping and hardly throw anything away.

i think everyone has a OH who thinks theres no point in saving,

Any

I completely feel for you - my OH is not allowed to go shopping with me. He doesn't really like shopping, but once he goes he spends loads - but wait for it - we have nothing to actually eat after 2 days because he just bought the most expensive food there is, we eat like kings for 2 days and then there is nothing to make whole meal out of.
So he is not allowed. Only occasionaly. And fortunately he doesn't mind.
We also have full Sky. But I found out that to cancel just Sky movies is not going to save you nearly anything (you have to go for few things) so I am not bothering about that. For it to be worth savings, I would have to give up quite a few programs I also do watch as well as the ones I don't, so that is not bothering me personally.

MY OH spends all the extra money on going out (and not always with me, but also with friends-he goes a lot) and I cannot get him to put money aside and THEN plan going out:-(( Which is really upseting me as I want a new bathroom (ours is well past it, even has something growing around the shower head under the plastic cover)but unless I pay for the lot myself then I won't get it:-((
While he has THE car he wanted in highest spec for example... Am I being unfair?