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Should I stay or should I go?
foxwales
Posts: 590 Forumite
I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years now and we bought a home together 2 years ago.
Im a stay at home guy spending most of my time and money in doing up the house and putting effort into DIY, washing, cleaning, cooking, shopping and looking after our two dogs and our rabbit.
A few months after we had moved into our new home together he went away with work for two weeks and upon his return he sent me an email saying he was leaving me and that he didn't want to be with me anymore, we stayed apart for over a month during this period and it really drove me into the ground. Anyways we got back together eventually and have been together since.
In March I had found out he had been going onto this website looking for descreet sex with older men, I felt sick and hurt by this and confronted him and told him it was over between us.
After a few days of being apart, I decided to give it another go because I do love him, yet the emails he was sending back and forth between these guys, he was asking for pictures of them along with have very explicit conversations with them via email.
I can't truly say that he didnt meet up with one of them and he says he didn't, so im confused and obviously find it hard to believe and trust him.
The way things are now, I can't trust him, he shows no interest in me or doing anything with me, in my opinion he puts everyone and everything before me.
I think im almost answering my own questions here based on what I have said. I just don't know what to do anymore. Financially, breaking up would ruin me, but I just want to be happy
Im a stay at home guy spending most of my time and money in doing up the house and putting effort into DIY, washing, cleaning, cooking, shopping and looking after our two dogs and our rabbit.
A few months after we had moved into our new home together he went away with work for two weeks and upon his return he sent me an email saying he was leaving me and that he didn't want to be with me anymore, we stayed apart for over a month during this period and it really drove me into the ground. Anyways we got back together eventually and have been together since.
In March I had found out he had been going onto this website looking for descreet sex with older men, I felt sick and hurt by this and confronted him and told him it was over between us.
After a few days of being apart, I decided to give it another go because I do love him, yet the emails he was sending back and forth between these guys, he was asking for pictures of them along with have very explicit conversations with them via email.
I can't truly say that he didnt meet up with one of them and he says he didn't, so im confused and obviously find it hard to believe and trust him.
The way things are now, I can't trust him, he shows no interest in me or doing anything with me, in my opinion he puts everyone and everything before me.
I think im almost answering my own questions here based on what I have said. I just don't know what to do anymore. Financially, breaking up would ruin me, but I just want to be happy
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Comments
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The way things are now, I can't trust him, he shows no interest in me or doing anything with me, in my opinion he puts everyone and everything before me.
I think im almost answering my own questions here based on what I have said. I just don't know what to do anymore. Financially, breaking up would ruin me, but I just want to be happy
I think you HAVE answered your own question! You deserve to be happy and this relationship (or lack of it) is ruining you. Some people just can't be faithful or be happy with what they have.
I just wanted to send you a big sloppy kiss and hug.
Chin Up!
PP
xxTo repeat what others have said, requires education, to challenge it,requires brains!FEB GC/DIESEL £200/4 WEEKS0 -
it's never worth staying just for the money.
EVER.Debt free 4th April 2007.
New house. Bigger mortgage. MFWB after I have my buffer cash in place.0 -
The fact that you say that financially this would ruin you says it all to me. You're more concerned about that than you are about being without him. A truly loving relationship would mean that you care far less about the money and much more about the love of your life and vice versa, of course.
There's more to life than money (whether that's owing it, spending it or earning it) and you deserve happiness.
My thoughts are with you xThrilled to be DEBT-FREE as of 26.03.10
Hubby DEBT-FREE as of 27.03.15
Debt at LBM (June '07): £8189.190 -
Thank you for all your kind words.
It's not really about the money for me, I went into this with my eyes open wanting to build a life with him, but I feel like I have got the bad end of it because I was comitted to him, he isn't really to me, yet I will come out of this worse financially and thats what I don't like. The fact that I have put my all into this house and relationship to have everything I worked hard for taken away from me and left in financial ruin to boot.
Just sux0 -
Kick him out and get a lodger!!! Even if you both did work things out its clear that you cant trust him and one of the main foundations of relationships is trust.0
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No trust = no basis for a relationship
Simple as that I'm afraid0 -
The longer you stay, the more you lose. The relationship is over I'm afraid. Cut your losses...0
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Id get rid. How do you know he isnt bringing home stds from his other men. Your health and mental well being is more important than bricks and mortar . Im sure you will find someone much better in the future and will stop thinking about this loser.0
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Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice shame on me....
If you can't trust him, he keeps going behind your back and doesn't show any respect for you, then you're just a housekeeper.
Find someone who deserves you, and leave him to it.Member of the first Mortgage Free in 3 challenge, no.19
Balance 19th April '07 = minus £27,640
Balance 1st November '09 = mortgage paid off with £1903 left over. Title deeds are now ours.0 -
The way things are now, I can't trust him, he shows no interest in me or doing anything with me, in my opinion he puts everyone and everything before me.
That says it all to me. Why would you want to be with someone who isn't interested in you?
Sorry he's broken your heart but you deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you.I have a gift for enraging people, but if I ever bore you it'll be with a knife Louise Brooks
All will be well in the end. If it's not well, it's not the end.Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars0
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