want divorce but husband won't leave house

floss2

shellsuit wrote: »

Unhappily married for 15 years?! How old are the children then??

It happens.

I realised I had made a mistake before I fell pregant with my eldest (now 23) but resolved to stay & have a darned good attempt at making the marriage work. We lasted 15 1/2 years until finally splitting up, divorcing 2 years later.

Oldernotwiser

prowla wrote: »

So why don't you want to move out and leave the house to him?

Wow! That's a really good idea - not!

prowla

longbaygirl wrote: »

With regards to the house - he can rot in it for all I care.

I like your approach!

roswell

lilac_lady wrote: »

If your husband is refusing to leave the house and you leave he'll have to buy you out. He can't just stay there and pretend nothing has changed. See a solicitor as soon as possible. Good luck!

Surely either party will have to have buy out the exiting party so its swings and round abouts really, OP could you afford a mortgage of half the house`s current value on your income ? if not get him to buy you out ... im pretty sure though if he wont agree to a divorce you will either have a long wait or have to go on the grounds of un reasonable behaviour buy one party either way he could make it take a long time to eb finalised.

roswell

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Wow! That's a really good idea - not!

Its about as good an idea as the original post where the ops wants him to move out and leave the house to her, they both have the right to live in the house as im assuming its in joint names thier for neither one can force the other out.

prowla

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Wow! That's a really good idea - not!

Wot not...?

chirpchirp

I'd like to echo the advice about asking your friends about a good solictor. I have a few friends who have gone through divorce lately as well as myself. I took a gamble and decided to go with the solictor who I knew was most expensive but so far my gamble has appeared to pay off. Some of my friends went the cheapest route they could find and are now in a postion of having young children and having to sell their house.

With the amount your husband is ploughing into his business I would suggest that there should be quite a reasonable amount for both of you to live comfortably once a settlement is finalised. Choosing a solictor can be difficult, but I'm trying to say don't be influenced by price alone as the benefits of having a good solictor can outweigh their costs many times over.

Again echoing a previous poster, gather as much financial information together as you can about joint finances and lodge these with a solictor, don't forget P60's, pension details, accounts etc

longbaygirl

Many thanks for all your helpful replies.

I don't know anyone who got divorced recently, and knows a good solicitor, but I can ask around.

Roswell - I know it is his home too - I just know the extra upheaval for the kids will make everything harder, but I've got no choice as he won't go - I will move out and rent and start proceedings, but I know it will be a long wait as he will drag it out for as long as possible.

Shellsuit - Kids are 14, 4 and 3. Marriage was a mistake from the start, (for both of us I think) but we have both tried to make it better, the difference is he is prepared to put-up with the relationship and I'm not.

We sleep in seperate rooms and I'm not much more than a housekeeper/childminder who also pays half of the bills. 15 years later (working full-time outside of the home) I now find he is the one with lots of money in his pension and business and savings account and I'm still living from month to month.

He is very good with money, i.e. gets me to pay for as much as possible while shoving most of his away in the 'business'.

mookiandco

First, go through the legal aid eligibility calculator to ascertain whether you might be eligible for free legal advice and assisitance:

http://www.legalservices.gov.uk/civil/guidance/eligibility_calculator.asp

A straightforward divorce costs in the region of £1300.00 including court fees and solicitors costs.

If there are related financial proceedings which end up in court, you are looking at between £5000 and £7500 and about 18 months of going in and out of court. If agreement can be reached it maybe about £1500 - £2500.

Your solicitor will probably advise you not to move out of the property. The court need to be satisfied you and the children have a roof over your head. If the court feel that this has been achieved because you can afford to rent, your share of the matrimonial home may not be as high as it should be. Dont even consider moving until you have got legal advice. Although you cannot force your husband to leave, the courts may feel that you have a greater entitlement to the house due to having the children reside with you e.g 70% of value to you and 40% to husband. If you cant afford to buy him out then the court can make an order deferring his interest in the property until the youngest child is 16 or finishes full time education.

There are things that can be done so do not despair and think that it is black and white. The court have to take everything into account e.g age, earning capacity, pensions, capital etc etc and only a solicitor will be able to advise you what your likely entitlement will be once both parties have completed financial statements with all the details.

If he is hiding assets already or is likely to do so, your solicitor will advise you about making an application to the court to prevent him from doing so.

longbaygirl

Thanks Moo - I should wait till I've spoken to someone and got advice before going and renting then.

Thanks for the guideline prices - I can compare this with what any possible solicitor tells me.