Feeling very scared and alone

kathfisch

Worried,

I'm sorry to hear how much your debt is worrying you and that you don't feel able to tell your husband, this must add so much pressure for you. However, only you know your relationship and can judge what is right.

I would urge you to contact payplan, consumer credit counselling service or citizen's advice bureau. There are links at the top of this page or a google search would do the trick. They are all charities that will give you free advice about managing your debt. They can work out what might be the best solution for you, if it is a debt management plan they can help to negotiate with creditors etc. Your income in relation to your debt is high and it doesn't look as if the shortfall could be found by cutting back in any way (as is the case with some on here).

I hope you find a way through this very difficult patch and can find the space to really enjoy your new baby without worry hanging over your head. Perhaps, given time and when you feel like you have a plan in place, you will feel able to tell your husband. I have to say that many people are against debt and don't understand it until it applies to someone they love. Maybe he just needs it explaining to him, especially as your situation is made worse now by you staying at home to raise a child who is both of yours.

I wish you the best of luck. Do keep posting for advice and to let us know how you get on. There are always people here to offer emotional support as well as financial advice!

Kath

xela_17

As I think someone else said, your shortfall per month is over £600. That's not the sort of money you can make up by changing your utilities provider, leaving SKY etc. I think your best bet is to contact CCCS or payplan (links at top of page). I don't know anything about IVAs or DMPs but I'm sure someone else can tell you more about this. Hope this board is making you feel better.

xela_17

Sorry, left computer and cross-posted with kathfisch!

tyllwyd

My instinct is that you have to tell your husband so that you can either face this together or apart. With this much debt and with so little money coming in, he is going to find out if not now, then in a year's time when you have gone back to work and things have fallen even further behind. My feeling is that it is better to know sooner rather than later whether your relationship will be able to survive this - otherwise you will be living in dread until the day when he does find out, making things even worse. You can't begin to sort it out and rebuild your life until you know where you stand with him.

I feel for you - it must be a very tough time.

forsya

Hi Worries

Just to say, welcome and sorry to hear of your distress, please try and not get too stressed, your health is so much more important, it is only money at the end of the day. I worried so much I was off sick for weeks with stress, I feel so much more normal and healthier now that I am working out my debts.

I think it is best to tell your hubby, I remember telling my mum, it was the hardest thing I have even done, but it is SO much better than someone who loves you knows and can help you.

I really wish you all the best of luck, and let us know how things go, thinking of you at this difficult time.

xx