Feel like a spare part in child's life

Sarahlou_2

Hi - hope I've posted in the right place, sorry if not.

I have been working full time in a job I enjoy for two years. My son is 4 years old and attends school (well, Foundation Stage Unit - starts school in Sept). As I work full time (35 hours), we require a childminder before/after school and holidays.

Something's hit me like a ton of bricks this week - I miss him unbelivably. I have realised how much of his school life that I miss out on, the other parents think the childminder is his mum - not me.

I collect him from school one afternoon a week and feel like an alien....and I get frustrated having to pay my childminder this summer for 4 weeks when she's on holiday and 2 weeks when we are!

If I worked 10-2 each day I wouldn't need a childminder, and after doing the sums I would be £5 a month better off.....not a lot granted.

But I love my job and dont want to leave - how can I approach this with work? I know I do not have a god given right to dictate my hours.

Has anyone been in this situation? I have been signed off this week with RSI so I don't know whether this could affect things?

Thanks in advance

seven-day-weekend

All you can do is ask. Explain that it is for family purposes.

If it is Local Authority you work for there is a good chance that it will be acceptable. There were quite a few parents with young families working these sort of hours when I was working. Also some shops can be quite flexible.

Maybe if your employer says the job needs full-time, you could work a Saturday morning/late night in addition to those hours?

Good luck.

Sarahlou_2

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

All you can do is ask. Explain that it is for family purposes.

If it is Local Authority you work for there is a good chance that it will be acceptable. There were quite a few parents with young families working these sort of hours when I was working. Also some shops can be quite flexible.

Maybe if your employer says the job needs full-time, you could work a Saturday morning/late night in addition to those hours?

Good luck.

Thanks. No I don't work for local authority, it's a recruitment company. Sorry I have said full time, it's actually classed as part time - just feels like full time lol!.

I couldn't really do a late night as I'd still need some childcare. But thanks for your reply!

jenhug

look at flexible working, you have the right to apply.
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/WorkingHoursAndTimeOff/DG_10029491
I would advise you to be a member of a union when you apply for this, I was, they gave me a form to fill in rather than write a letter, they helped me fill it in, so that when the employer looked at it the right points had been raised and the better you state your care the better your chance of getting it.

Spendless

All the best with asking. Have you taken into account you would need to find/pay for childcare during some of the school hols even if you could reduce to school hours?

Sarahlou_2

Spendless wrote: »

All the best with asking. Have you taken into account you would need to find/pay for childcare during some of the school hols even if you could reduce to school hours?

Hi! Yes - there is a after school club nearby who offer holiday club at £15 per day. My plan would be to put a little each week away to cover this. I would hope I could condense my hours into three days during the holidays- if work would agree. I will also look at TCs.

Sarahlou_2

Yipee!!!! Work have agreed that I can now work 9.45 until 2.15 Mon to Fri and three days during the hols as from September! I have had to take a step down from my managerial position but they have let me stay on the same pay pro rata!

Thanks for your advice! One happy mummy!

foi1983

Sarahlou wrote: »

Yipee!!!! Work have agreed that I can now work 9.45 until 2.15 Mon to Fri and three days during the hols as from September! I have had to take a step down from my managerial position but they have let me stay on the same pay pro rata!

Thanks for your advice! One happy mummy!

Well done.

I havent got kids yet but have "told" hubby that when we do, he will need to step up to the plate and provide for us so I can work part time.
My siblings and I were latchkey children. My mum workd 12 hours a day to keep a roof over our heads so we didnt see her much, which I regret. I know she tried her best but I just wish that things were different.

I am a firm believer in meeting your children's emotional and mental needs as well as their physical and the importance of parents raising their kids and putting their kids needs before their own material needs.

Sorry for going on a bit. I'm just really happy and hope that one day, I can be in your position.

Happy parenting!

Krystaltips

I completely agree with you foi... Both our parents worked full time and we were left to walk home from school and fend for ourselves until 6:30 when my Mum got back from work, fed us then sent us to bed by 7:30... School holidays were spent in 'play schemes'... I never wanted that for my children so I'm glad my husband is happy to go out to work and I can be there for my daughters school plays and 'inspire days' and I get to pick her up every day... And I don't have the nagging feeling of having to return to work after maternity leave with my shiny new baby, she'll get me for the next 5 years at least too :)

Sarahlou, really glad your work allowed you to change your hours, it will really make a difference for you!

apples1

Sarahlou wrote: »

Yipee!!!! Work have agreed that I can now work 9.45 until 2.15 Mon to Fri and three days during the hols as from September! I have had to take a step down from my managerial position but they have let me stay on the same pay pro rata!

Thanks for your advice! One happy mummy!

Just read your post and wanted to say - well done. You won't regret it and your son will be so much better for it. He'll be able to have a friend for tea after school, know you'll be there at the gate for him, etc etc you can get the best of having a job whilst your son barely knowing you are gone. What a star Mum!

the_other_mce

Sarahlou wrote: »

Yipee!!!! Work have agreed that I can now work 9.45 until 2.15 Mon to Fri and three days during the hols as from September! I have had to take a step down from my managerial position but they have let me stay on the same pay pro rata!

Thanks for your advice! One happy mummy!

Brilliant news - for you and your child!! It will make such a difference to his life and you will never regret it - you might miss the extra money a bit but you will NEVER regret spending time with him. Really pleased for you!!!