Tips wanted for Newbie due to take on Mortgage and Marriage!

Lady_Pink

That's a great idea about putting a small amount extra per month into the mortgage. I guess we won't miss it and if it's done on a regular basis then it all adds up.

Grr, I'm still a bit annoyed from being told my parents should have paid off my debts instead of paying for the wedding! I shall have to tell them this and see what they say! :-)

Broken_hearted

Sorry my deposit for my house came from my family and I think it's a much better way for them to help me out.
I have a home for life not just a white dress and some photos. Oh by the way my wedding dress was ivory, my wedding was lovely and everyone enjoyed themselves. The church alone cost £600 total waste of money.

Heth_2

Lady_Pink wrote:

That's a great idea about putting a small amount extra per month into the mortgage. I guess we won't miss it and if it's done on a regular basis then it all adds up.

Grr, I'm still a bit annoyed from being told my parents should have paid off my debts instead of paying for the wedding! I shall have to tell them this and see what they say! :-)

There is an overpayment calculator on the skipton website. According to that with our mortgage if we overpay by 20 quid a month we reduce the term by 2 years and 2 months, and save loads in interest. I live playing around with different overpayments to see what happens.
My parents never knew about my overdraft at university, but I'd also resent someone saying we should have used the wedding money for our debts/house deposit. Not that they ever gave us a choice, but that was money they wanted to spend on our wedding party, not for us to do as we wanted with. They wanted us to have a great wedding, and the it was a great day, and I'm so glad we had such a great wedding. Sorting our finances out afterwards and saving money for our house was our responsibility and to be honest completing next week wouldn't feel so great if we hadn't achieved some of it (say this because some of our deposit was sadly inherited and some was wedding gifts from grandparents/parents) ourselves.

MrsB_2

My mum and dad paid for the vast majority of our wedding too, we paid what we could towards it and we paid for our own honeymoon. We also paid for our house deposit etc and furniture entirely by ourselves. There's no way I would have asked or allowed my parents to cover our debts or to pay for our deposit. They are things that I see as our responsibility as grown adults - it's all about learning to stand on our own two (or rather 4 as there are 2 of us!!) feet, and to be responsible and to learn financial sense.

My mum and dad had always planned to pay for our wedding and had budgeted accordingly. Part of the reason for that is that as their only daughter they wanted me to have the wedding of my dreams, but also a special day that they could celebrate with all the family and their friends. Yes I suppose there is an element of 'showing off' if that's the way you choose to look at it, we had a very traditional wedding with all the trimmings, and everybody without exception had a wonderful day. We didnt go over the top, but they made sure that we had everything as we wanted it (ie I didnt have to scrimp and save and choose a different menu to save £3 per head). That was hugely important to my parents as they wanted us all to have a day that lived up to all our dreams. They didnt get into debt paying for it, and it was their choice.

Just because somebody thinks you should do things differently doesnt mean they are right, or that you're wrong. You have a wonderful day and enjoy your future lives together.
BTW - my wedding cost in excess of £12000 5 years ago this July. Expensive? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely. And yes, I know we could have done it cheaper, but we didnt, we did it how we wanted to.

OK - sorry, rant over.

Lady_Pink

Thanks Heth and MrsB, I must admit I avoided coming back on this forum as I felt a bit "got at" on my first post and didn't really want to come back! However, your kind words have made me feel much better. H2B and I had originally decided we were going to "slope off" and get married on our own - cheap, quick, easy - but my parents were horrified about this. Looking at it 12 months later I'm glad they did - this is the start of our new life together and I want to mark it in some special and memorable way.

I understand what Brokenhearted is saying about just having a white dress and photos but we've not spent ridiculous amounts of money on anything and we're not having any of the silly extras that are the done thing now, just cos they're the done thing. Parental contributions are covering pretty much everyting except for things I feel more comfortable paying for myself/ourselves eg hairdresser etc. Their money, their choice. Fair play to them - it's money they had in the bank that was always going to be for my wedding (if i had one!) My sister will get the same.

And, to be frank, they are giving us a contribution to help with the deposit - 10% of the house value thank you very much - which comes via an inheritance from my grandmother and so they are helping us with the motgage and having a house for life. They don't know about the debt - they would no doubt offer me help with this if they did - but I don't want to worry them and as it's something I got myself into, I'll get myself out of it. This is why I came to MSE to ask for tips on saving money once married.

So now I'm off to the old style board for a look-see - thanks again MrsB and Heth! X

lillianh

Hello Lady Pink!

Firstly, congratulations on your wedding. With regards your financial situation, I would advise you to pay off the most expensive loans first (check the interest rate). If you have credit cards, transfer the balance to a 0% credit card, this will save you on paying the interest each month.
Try this book by Alvin Hall: Your money or your life, it is really good!

Even though you said you are more interested in getting tips on saving after your wedding, I would advise you to look at saving also before your wedding, as this will mean you will be better off financially, than spending a lot on your wedding. I understand that both parents are helping you financially with the wedding, but I would still look at keeping the costs low if I were you, so that you could potentially use some of the extra money to pay off some of your debts.

I got married last year and we had a budget of 5000 pounds for our wedding. We saved for it, so when we came back from honeymoon, we were not worried about our financial situation. Let me give you a few saving tips:
- You could get your rings from Argos for example
- For the wedding dress, I bought my dress on sale from Coast (non-bridal gown) and it only cost me 60 pounds (the dress was really beautiful). You don't have to go for a bridal gown.
- Honeymoon: we went to Cyprus on a special offer from last minute (it was fantastic).

If you want more money saving tips, check out this website: https://www.yourweddingforless.com.

Also look at the threads on saving on your wedding.

All the best.

Lillian

fiobee

Best of luck with your wedding and house purchase, Lady Pink.

I just wanted to say, I understand about your parents wanting to pay for your wedding. It is *their* money and if that's what they want to use it for, it's their choice. You just need to focus on what you can use *your* money for ie paying off your debts.

My dad has given me a specific amount for my wedding and is giving another amount as a seperate gift for whatever I'm saving for eg house deposit. I know he'd be hurt if I used the wedding money for something else as it is a specific gift.

mdean

http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=170

I know we are all different but I really do not understand those who get dewy eyed about marriage. I respect devout religious people who get married in the church, mosque etc because of beliefs

But the aww its nice group - click the link and smell the coffee.

There is no reason for agnostics and atheists to get married full stop

rant over

fiobee

Everyone is entitled to a wee rant now and then, mdean.

If you aren't interested in the religious or romantic side of marriage, then there are plenty of other reasons eg automatic parental rights and responsibilities for any children born during the marriage, next of kin rights while married, free transfer of assets between spouses, free change of name for wife (if taking husband's name), right to refuse to testify against spouse (if not jointly charged, subject to limited exceptions), acquisition of citizenship based on spouse's nationality, shared ownership of assets (important if relationship breaks down), entitlement to share of assets if spouse dies intestate (without a will), etc.

bylromarha

Congrats on the wedding. We got married in June 1999...I finished my uni finals, then got married 2 weeks later, so can empathise with 2 big life changes together.

We paid for our wedding entirely, then had to furnish a house...the wedding gift lists were fantastic for this, although I declined against putting things like wooden spoons on the debenhams list...I wouldn't have asked friends to pay £7 for things like this that you can get in Wilkos for 50p. I have a few friends who asked for homebase/B+Q vouchers so they could redecorate their house.

As for socially after the wedding, you can save money there too. Free DVD trial rentals, sign up to mystery shopping gives you nights out in restaurants and pubs and they pay your expenses. Get yourself a mortgage pig for the spare cash floating in the purse. Some mortgage products don't let you put in a little each month (ours doesn't) so the mortgage pig will do that instead. If you search on MSE, all these things will come up as there are lots of threads about them.

And don't forget, the best entertainment when you're a newly wed is free!