Abuse

fitzilian19

hi... just to say i know how hard it would be to approach anyone about this... my sister came forward about my dad 2 years ago... he got away with it because it was her against him (a pc) and no 'evidence' ...

since them our second cousins (his cousins) have both come forward saying he abused them - though wasnt more than a couple of years older than them at the time and was no where near as bad as what he did to her - my sister has decided not to re-open the case as she felt the police werent on her side...

they are obviously feeling very bad about it... if they had come forward at the time my sister might have been saved...


i'm not trying to make you feel guilty... this is probably one of the toughest decisions you'll have to make.

BHE

jetcat wrote: »

I eventually went to the police child and family protection unit, who were great (unlike previously, though that's another story). Basically, if your area is like mine, you can inform them of his name, and your suspicions (and reason for suspicion - though they shouldnt pressure you into doing anything you're not ready for - if that is a worry for you). The seargant i spoke to said they will input the info on to the computer, so that if any complaint is ever made, that info will be very important.

That sounds ideal, maybe you could try that Claire?

I would urge you to speak to the police, I do appreciate that this is really hard for you, & I feel sorry both for what you went through years ago, & for the dilema you're in now.

Hugs xx

Claire3121

Thanks everyone.

McKneff

Claire3121 wrote: »

Thanks everyone.

If you need any support claire, we are all here for you.

Claire3121

McKneff wrote: »

If you need any support claire, we are all here for you.

I really appreciate this. I will keep you all posted xxx

RAS

Claire

I would guess that there are a lot of us who either have first hand experience of this sort of situation or have a friend or relative who has. Certainly I know a number of people who only acted when they were older and realised that the next generation were at risk.

Hugs.

Smickan

You have my greatest sympathy, it's a horrible feeling isn't it

I used to babysit for a friend who's partner was almost 20 years older than her. They'd had two kids and things had soured but they still lived together - I assume for the kids - and one slept on the settee and the other in bed.

The partner was horrible - he had a temper and half when he lost it and frequently lost his patience with the kids and threw the sky remote at the wall once - that was when she got shot of him before he did it to the kids.

However, to me he was as nice as pie he'd sit there and talk to me about boys (asking if I had a boyfriend) and other 'normal' things, then he'd call me through to his room and sit there touching me up, trying to kiss me and invite me into his bed...

Luckily the worst thing he did was rubbing my chest whilst I was clearly terrified. I tried to keep my distance and ignored him calling me through when I'd put the kids to bed (he didn't stay in all the time I was there and it wasn't every time, but it was regularly, sometimes he'd just drop in for a sleep after his taxi shift and get up an hour or so later to go to the pub) whilst he still lived there.

After he left I didn't see him until a year later when he'd been thrown out by his girlfriend at the time, the friend had taken him back to let him sleep on the settee whilst he sorted himself out as he was the kids dad. He came home early from seeing his friends at the pub and I felt so frightened and awkward, despite being about 21 at the time and luckily he didn't try anything.

I tried to tell my mum one but I couldn't get it out. After my father passed away I found out that my dad knew him of old and didn't like me doing it and told my mum to keep a close eye on me and both regularly asked me if I was okay. (I don't think they suspected the above as there was no way on earth they'd let me go there if I had told them - my mum almost killed a 60+ year old electrician last week for wanting my number for 'sexy texts' and offering to get under the blanket I was hiding away under etc. :rotfl: )

I guess I stayed because I loved the kids - and I did, I've looked after them since the youngest was 3 and he's now 10 and his sister 12. I don't worry for the daughter, I know she's savvy enough to speak out if he tried anything, she's very on the ball and very aware of what is right and wrong, and besides I don't think he would do anything. However - her friends will be just 4 or so years younger than I was when he tried it on with me and just recently I've started to think that perhaps I should speak out and say something. I'm still friends with the person concerned - and haven't seen the ex partner since that night about 3 years ago - but I don't look after the kids anymore.

Argh, I'm sorry for hijacking your thread! It's a very long way of saying I hope you're okay and I know how you feel! It's not easy.