Family member owes me money

InControl_2

Hi all,

Looking for your advice. I have worked hard over the last 3 years since graduating from Uni and have managed to clear all of my debts (scrimped and saved) except for one student loan...

WHICH I TOOK OUT FOR MY DAD (I DIDN'T NEED IT THAT YEAR) UNDER THE AGREEMENT THAT HE USE IT TO BUY SHARES IN A COMPANY. The loan amounts to about £1,500 and it costs me about £30/month over 5 years. We took it out under the agreement that he would pay it back to me when I graduated. The interest rate was practically 0% at the time so I (foolishly) agreed that it was a good way to borrow money safely and cheaply.

I wish I hadn't got into this with a family member, particualy one who has no control (or desire to control) money.

The dilemma is that my parents have always been very good to me - they paid my rent plus gave me other money when I was at Uni. Also when I came back from travelling I had a £1000 overdraft which the bank wanted me to take a loan out for (hadn't heard of this site at that time). My parents gave me the £1000 to pay it back from the proceeds of a flat that they had bought whilst I was at Uni (I was living there).

Additionally they also don't currently have that much money (my Dad has been basically unemployed for 3 years and my Mum only works part-time). My Dad may still have the shares but I don't know for sure.

I should probably have tried to talk with my Dad about this long before now, but he's not the easiest guy to approach (quite scary sometimes). He's also the type of guy that is always looking for a way to dodge paying for something whether it's council tax or income tax. Also my fiance isn't happy about the situation - she (probably quite rightly) wants me to confront him about this and get it resolved.

Do I confont him, or because they have given me lots of money in the past leave it as it is and do nothing? What would you do?

Thanks!

mountainofdebt

On one hand yes you should approach him but on the other hand it could be argued that they have (sort of!) repaid £1000 - would the loan have cost you £300 in interest as I guess this is the amount of interest you are paying on your grad loan?

As to whether or not your dad still has the shares - do you know what company they are in - could you not strike up a conversation about the company and see where it goes?

If you do decide not to ask your dad to repay the loan I don't know how you tell your OH - although I would mention the fact that they more or less repaid the loan by a)giving you £1k when you needed and b) presumably let you live rent free in the flat whilst you were a student so minimising any debt you left uni with

Put it down to experience - costly but not as costly as it could be.

Callisto

When I went on holiday to Australia with my Mum a couple of years ago, she paid for my flight and said I could pay her back in installments as it was a last minute trip and I didn't have enough for flight and spending money. We stayed with relatives for three weeks and travelled up the coast for the other three weeks staying in hostels. I paid for the majority of the accommodation and about half of the meals. Once we had got back and totted up what we spent, Mum said not to bother paying her back as I had spent the same amount on meals and accommodation for both of us, as she had spent on the flights, so we called it quits...

You could argue that your Dad owes you the money, but then he could say he paid off your overdraft and gave you extra money that amounts to £1500, so personally I would just leave it.

burbs_2

You let your parents pay off your overdraft and give you money left, right and centre yet you are going to moan about £!,500. I would write it off if i was you and be grateful that your parents helped you get through some of the hardest times at Uni.

It seems as if it is your fiance who is the one pushing for this money, she probably wants a holiday or something!! Sit her down and tell her that the amount of money you have taken off your parents far outweighs the £1,500 and with that in mind you are not going to ask your dad for the money back.

Thats what i would do anyway.

sarahlouise210

I agree ... you will just have to explain to your finance (woops fiance!) that the £1500 is a fraction of what you received from your parents while you were at Uni. It can seem unfair especially if you had the agreement for your dad to pay you back..but have a heart - I think they have paid their dues. To be honest I cant really understand how they managed to buy you a flat, give you money and pay off your loan..but needed you to take out the loan for £1500 ?? Was it just that it was interest free? I would put it down to experience.

InControl_2

Thanks all who have replied. I think I will write it off to experience - from now on I'll always agree the repayment of loans up front and discuss it fully.

Will also talk to my fiance (or finance - very good!) and explain that the £1,500 has been repayed back previously. I feel that I would like to help them out now (as they did for me) because they don't have much income.

What does annoy me is my Dad's attitude to money - he doesn't face up to his current financial situation, doesn't honour debts (not just mine) and won't talk about anything money related. I will do what I can to help change this.

burbs: the big problem is that nothing was agreed up front (both a fault of mine and my parents). If it was going to be a 'gift' from me to my Dad and not a loan that he would pay me back for then we should have agreed this by saying "I'll take this £1500 invest it, make some money and in return I'll help you our if things ever get desperate. You'll then have to pay it off when you start work."

sl210: I think it comes down to the fact that my Dad isn't very savvy with money, saw "interest free" and grabbed it, with no real intent to pay it back. No he probably didn't need it if he had managed his finances properly. The flat I was living in was a student mortgage (100%) secured on my parents home. The mortgage payments were more than covered by my 2 flat mates as it was a 3 bed flat - not expensive where I lived. We then sold the flat after I graduated making a profit on the sale. It was this profit which paid my overdraft and also put money in their pocket. A win-win situation really as I didn't have to worry about paying rent, they pocketed a few thousand pounds at the end of it and I sorted out the tenants for it all.

Yes I was very fortunate that my parents were willing (their idea actually) and able to do this.

miseter

i agree u shoulnt be mad they helped u out in the end

gregg1

cannot believe what I am reading - your parents owe you nothing. God forbid my child ever grows up to be as ungrateful as you.

kar

Hi,

I'm at uni at the moment and in a relatively fortunate situation like you were. My parents feel it is their responsibility to pay what the gov. think they should towards my fees despite the fact that they are currently "up the proverbial creek with no paddle" when it comes to money. They even took on a 0% cc to cover my 'expenditure' in my gap year and 1st year which i have since paid back by working holidays and part time. I feel guilty letting them do this but at the same time there is no way to claim to be an independent student and hence not require the money. I don't however recieve any living support and wouldn't ask for it (even though my fiance thinks this is 'tight' as everyone elses parents give them food or money during term time). I have told him however that we are more than likely better off than they are at the moment with all the stupid debts my dad is getting into and wouldn't dream of taking more money from them. (who takes out an interest only mortgage and doesn't even bother with an endowment policy or savings or anything really??)

There is absolutely no way i would ask for that money back. Student loans are supposed to be for living off while you are at uni. You didn't need that loan beacuse your parents were basically fully supporting you. Call the £1500 fees for that. ie. the free roof over your head when others have to pay £50pw for the privalidge. You have had a very easy life at uni as far as money is concerned and £1500 really isn't that much anyway.

savvy

Incontrol

Consider yourself fortunate and write it off, also think yourself lucky you only have a student loan for £1500! I never had any help from any parent, was a single parent and am stuck with a £12000 student loan

magoogy

my daughter is at 6th form and only gets £30 a week - i buy everything for her and give her money left, right and centre - i take her shopping each saturday and to the pictures and pay for everything - i buy her dinner and tea out too - i dread to think how much she costs me but i love to spend on her - wouldnt dream of asking for it back when she is earning - then again - she has also lent me the odd fiver when i havent got any cash out of the bank and never asked for it back - though i have always paid her back..........

my son works and earns more than me but i still only ask for a pittance off him - i still buy all his toiletries and that too (must be over £20 month just on deodrants lol) - he gets all his drinks for work bought off me too (2x lucozade sports a day)..........

i feel i like to spoil my kids while they are still with me under my roof as when they move out i wont really have much chance will i?