Protecting inheritance

Pee

I'm not saying this to wind up the marriage does/ does not equal divorce debate, but another option would be for your children to enter into pre nuptial agreements.

Kaz2904

Pee wrote: »

If the house was left to your DH, then your MIL does not own it. Whilst it shouldn't be used for carefees, unless the council can argue this must have been gifted to her, it does mean that it is not protected in the event you and DH divorce, or indeed if you claim benefits without declaring this as savings..

I can understand why you would rather not do anything about it, but from what I have gathered, I think your MIL needs some advice here.

No, the Aunts house was to be left to DH and BiL. It was sold to pay for the Aunts care home fees. She died within a year leaving the house value (in cash) plus more cash. The will stated that the house was for the boys and the cash was for MiL.
The boys both accepted that they didn't have an inheritance until their Mum spent a year telling them that the house was their inheritance so they would get the cash from the house sale. She then changed her mind and has kept all the cash (to invest for their pensions). So when she needs nursing home care the money will be used to pay her fees.
Heck at least she'll be able to go into a nice care home!
(BiL said I should open up a nursing home, his idea was that we could all invest in one. I would run the nursing side and his wife could do the books. That's not for me at the moment though. Maybe one day when I'm older. (Although I could go for Mon-Fri 9-5!).)

Pee

Kaz2904 wrote: »

No, the Aunts house was to be left to DH and BiL. It was sold to pay for the Aunts care home fees. She died within a year leaving the house value (in cash) plus more cash. The will stated that the house was for the boys and the cash was for MiL.
The boys both accepted that they didn't have an inheritance until their Mum spent a year telling them that the house was their inheritance so they would get the cash from the house sale. She then changed her mind and has kept all the cash (to invest for their pensions). So when she needs nursing home care the money will be used to pay her fees.
Heck at least she'll be able to go into a nice care home!
(BiL said I should open up a nursing home, his idea was that we could all invest in one. I would run the nursing side and his wife could do the books. That's not for me at the moment though. Maybe one day when I'm older. (Although I could go for Mon-Fri 9-5!).)

And you checked the Will it didn't say anything about proceeds of sale?

Sorry, I now see the problem, and yes, you are right. Is it more than two years ago? (If it was less, she could do a Discretionary Trust through a Deed of Variation which would meet her requirements and protect that inheritance from care fees. It sounds like it has been longer, though.)

By making you and your SIL feel as you do it's quite likely that she will need a care home, so maybe it's just as well.:cool:

whitfreak

There is not alot you can do.

And if you do something to try and "protect it" and it becomes known that that why you've done it, you risk your daughters and your SIL's hating you for a lack of trust in their decision. To be fair they may see the logic with the statistics saying its quite possible, but ingraining a "whats mine is mine and whats yours in mine" type situation into their relationships will not help. Just bear in mind that while my mother misses her parents greatly, she still hasnt forgiven them 15 years after their death for effectively bypassing her to give the grandchildren the money, even though it secures her a comfortable income. Admittedly a belief in the afterlife is required for that point to matter.

One way you can protect it by putting all or some of it in trust(s) for the grandchildren. But I'd only put some, and I'd phrase everything in terms of trying to give them a help for uni or house deposit, rather than in terms trying save them from their parents.

Kaz2904

Pee wrote: »

And you checked the Will it didn't say anything about proceeds of sale?

Sorry, I now see the problem, and yes, you are right. Is it more than two years ago? (If it was less, she could do a Discretionary Trust through a Deed of Variation which would meet her requirements and protect that inheritance from care fees. It sounds like it has been longer, though.)

By making you and your SIL feel as you do it's quite likely that she will need a care home, so maybe it's just as well.:cool:

Yes I think it was more than 2 years ago. Don't know whether she did a discretionary trust or not but she did have a solicitor involved and the large legal bill to go with it!

LoL about the care home comment! Couldn't live with her I'm afraid, she's too stubborn and pinikerty. I would never get a moments rest as she would be making me feel guilty and I'd be running around all the time.
Besides which, we don't have the space here (Or the money to create the space! ).
I've always made it clear to all the family members that I will not be looking after them when they're elderly. I'm the only one who lives down here on my side and my family don't expect it. I think MiL thinks it would be nice to be looked after by her family but I don't want to spend my older working life juggling parent care when I've spent so long juggling childcare. Or to be tied down in my retirement. It's bad enough when she's poorly now. We all live in the same town, DH, BiL and I work full time, SiL doesn't work. We live about 1/2 mile from MiL and they live 2 1/2 miles away. If she's ill it's me who does all the running around fetching stuff or even the day to day popping in and checking on her. The telling her off for going up in the loft without the phone etc. (See I'm not evil honestly! )

Anyway sorry OP for going way off topic!

anguk

Kaz2904 wrote: »

No, the Aunts house was to be left to DH and BiL. It was sold to pay for the Aunts care home fees. She died within a year leaving the house value (in cash) plus more cash. The will stated that the house was for the boys and the cash was for MiL.

In that case I would have thought that it was only right that your DH and his brother should get any money left from the house sale after the care home fees have been paid. If the aunt left the house to your DH & BIL then it's theirs and it's wrong for their mother to hold on to any money from the sale of the house.

I really don't agree with parents keeping inherited (from someone else) money from their grown-up children, it seems almost like a control thing, dictating what their money should be used for. I also don't agree with parents leaving money to their own children but stipulating what the money should be used for, if you're going to leave your kids money then just give them it and let them use their own judgement. If you don't want to let them make up their own minds then don't leave them the money. It's all very well hiding the money away for pensions or the future but not much good if you're struggling now!

Pee

But the way it worked is that MIL inherited. She knew morally she was not entitled to that money, so will keep it one side for her little children, without recognising that they are grown men with families of their own. She is legally entitled to do this.

Steel_2

cyclonebri1 - you're not going to like my reply.

It's not your decision as to how your daughters spend any money you leave them after you are gone.

You brought them up to be sensible girls and you should trust them. If you don't, don't leave them any money. It's as simple as that. How do you know those lads they are marrying won't be providing for them for many years if they stay at home to look after children? Or bringing money or savings into the marriage? Or what about if the lads' parents die and leave them money? Would you like your daughters to be excluded from the benefits of that money as if they were money-grabbing witches who would steal it from them in a divorce settlement?

My husband and I are forging our own new family, and our parents, siblings and extended family and friends either support us WHOLLY and ABSOLUTELY in that, or they can get stuffed. There's no half measures, ifs or buts.

Be careful you don't lose your daughters over this.

cyclonebri1

Steel wrote: »

cyclonebri1 - you're not going to like my reply.

It's not your decision as to how your daughters spend any money you leave them after you are gone.

You brought them up to be sensible girls and you should trust them. If you don't, don't leave them any money. It's as simple as that. How do you know those lads they are marrying won't be providing for them for many years if they stay at home to look after children? Or bringing money or savings into the marriage? Or what about if the lads' parents die and leave them money? Would you like your daughters to be excluded from the benefits of that money as if they were money-grabbing witches who would steal it from them in a divorce settlement?

My husband and I are forging our own new family, and our parents, siblings and extended family and friends either support us WHOLLY and ABSOLUTELY in that, or they can get stuffed. There's no half measures, ifs or buts.

Be careful you don't lose your daughters over this.

No offence taken Steel, but you and several others are failing to understand what I said in the original post.

You are assuming I want to dictate what my daughters do with thier inheritance. I didn't say that. When we are gone they can do with at as they please, blow it in the 1st few weeks, (which I know they wouldn't do), or anything else they like, including sharing it with thier partners.
The afterlife is not one of my investments so no worries there.
But people can change and 20 years on who knows what anyones marital situation will be, therefore I merely wished to make an arrangement that allowed my daughters control of any monies.

Anyway thanks to all for the posts that answered my query and to the critics, fine, we all have different views, but I asked how, not should I.

We will ensure a nice deposit for a property, (or whatever other purpose), for the grandkids and consider the rest later.

Now, wonder how many grand kids we'll eventually have:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

anguk

cyclonebri1 wrote: »

Now, wonder how many grand kids we'll eventually have:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

That's a good point, say they have 3 each that's 6 grandkids! £50k deposit each (would that be enough for a deposit in 30 years time?) would be £300k. Just to complicate things further what if you had 4 grandkids and you put money aside for them, then you died and one of your daughters had another child? 4 grandkids would have a nice deposit stashed away and 1 would have nothing!

This will making & inheritance lark can be a nightmare, it almost makes me pleased I've not got much to leave behind! Best option would be have a wild retirement and spend the lot, problem solved! :rotfl: