Protecting inheritance

Pee

You could leave it in trust - two separate trusts for IHT purposes - with your daughters as Trustees for the children at say 25.

It might be that you would want to leave £100k to each of the daughters and then the balance in trust for the grandchildren - protecting some but not all? Or some other figures/ percentages?

I know that it is a real and genuine concern and you have to try to balance protection with being over protective. (You'll know a bit about that already, being a parent!)

Pee

myrnahaz wrote: »

I'd be upset if I thought my MIL intended leaving everything to my DH and not me.
OP, have you asked your DD's how they feel about this? And anyway, how would you insure against your DD's leaving home, taking the kids and the cash with them and then sharing the cash with a new bloke, who then dumps your girl and runs off with half her cash?
I think you have to realise that you can't control your family's lives. Even if you leave it all to your grandchildren, and state that they can't touch it until they're 30 years old, who's to say they won't blow it all on rubbish?

You can't. Presumably the OP knows DD's well enough to know that that is very unlikely to happen. All you can try to do is try to cover those eventualities you consider to be a risk.

bap98189

Paparika wrote: »

But what if sometime in the future (i hope it doesn't) you marriage falls apart, i thought my marriage was forever, 10 years later it failed ...

and you inherited money and your hubby demanded half...

It's not as simple as someone demanding half though is it? I thought divoice courts split funds depending on what each half brought to the relationship in the first place, and also their future costs (if kids are involved).

What I mean is if I marry a billionairess tomorrow, I couldn't expect to get half her fortune should we divorce in 5 years time. Perhaps someone with more knowledge than I can answer this.

Susan_Frost

It sounds as though, at the moment there are two of you, Mum and Dad to 2 daughters.

So any inheritance could be a long time coming, if both of you have to die first.

Your daughters are both getting married, and you dont seem to state anything negative about their guys, so hopefully the marriages will have a reasonable chance of being very happy.

Why not just leave the money to your daughters.

If, before you die, there does seem to be some major problem, you can re-think then, with the daughters saying what they would like to happen. You may also know, at that stage, just what grandchildren you have so some monies could be put in trust for them.

If they divorce before you die, then anything they earn / inherit subsequent to the divorce would not be taken into consideration anyway, as far as I understand.

The starting point has to be that you trust your daughters to have made the right choice of husband.

Wills can be changed depending on circumstances

Stop worrying - just get yourself a big hat and enjoy the weddings.

Kaz2904

This can cause huge issues in a relationship that is otherwise stable.
DH, his brother and his Mum were the three beneficiaries to their Aunts will. Her will stated that her house was to be left to the boys and her cash to their Mum. She became unwell and had to go into a nursing home before her death so the house was sold. As she was unable to rewrite her will it stayed as it was. MiL was the executor of the will. It took nearly a year of wrangling for her to get account details from someone rather unscrupulous so that she could wind up the estate. All this time she told the boys that they would get what the house sold for and she would keep the remainder as it was their house. Then it changed to her setting up a buisness in their names (all three of them). The week before the money came through she decided against all of that. She got the boys round to theirs to discuss it all and told them that was not going to happen. She was going to give them 15K each and keep the rest in an account that she would invest. BiL was really mad, 41 years old, 2 kids, scraping by as wife not at work as niece only 2 at time. Very happily married, just celebrated 10 years of marriage. DH didn't give a hoot, again happily married (6 years for us), 2 kids, both of us working.
Her reasons for doing this was that she didn't want either of them to lose their money as it was their pensions.
SiL and I are both very offended by this. SiL had £10k of her inheritance given to her early by her parents when they moved and it went towards buying their house. I have inherited £1000 when we didn't have 2 brass farthings to rub together and it was used to buy a car so that we could ferry our expanded family around.
MiL has made us both out to be money grabbing thieving little witches and doesn't seem to think that our marriages will last. She also doesn't seem to care what would happen to our children should we ever split.
The worst part of it all though is that she doesn't trust her sons enough to know that they are astute enough to protect their money and not blow it all on go gos. Unfortunately this course of action will serve to see them never get their inheritance because it will all be spent on her nursing home fees when she reaches that age.

I wish she'd never built it up like she did and she's spent the darn lot of it. Instead she has it sitting in an account where it is benefitting nobody. She won't touch it so the whole lot will be spent on care home fees.
It's very sad because she's really upset all of us (except DH who doesn't understand the personal slight) yet none of us care about the money. Just the way she did it. It makes a clear statement of distrust about your heirs' spouses.
If it's that important to you just buy them a house each and put it in their names only. It will still cause offence I expect but at least they would have somewhere to go if they do ever get divorced.

gettingbetter

hi

my MIL died in Jan this year
my oh and his sister inherited
my BIL and I were not mentioned in the will at all
i dont know if BIL and I would have a claim on that money if the worst happened as it was left to OH and SIL
dont know if that makes any difference

kas xx

cyclonebri1

Thanks for the input folks, whether you agree with my sentiments or otherwise

I can see all points of view expressed, but I can't see round corners. We all intend to live happily ever after but in 25% of cases this does not happen, something goes wrong.
I have talked this over with one of the guys and he takes the view that I came to this disscusion with. He would not expect half of anything that was left to his partner by us.
I merely wish to ensure that both daughters can make thier own decisions on what to do with any funds when the time comes, regardless of thier marital situation at that time

Needs a bit more thought on my part.;)

anguk

When my MIL died she left everything split equally to her 3 children, straightforward, simple & fair. As far as she was concerned the money she left them was also for their families and they could do what they wanted with it. If any of her children died before her then their share would go to their children.

My will says exactly the same, everything split equally between my two children, no special conditions, no stipulations about what the money should be used for. If they want to put it into savings for their kids, spent it on their houses or blow it all on holidays then that's up to them.

Pee

Kaz2904 wrote: »

This can cause huge issues in a relationship that is otherwise stable.
DH, his brother and his Mum were the three beneficiaries to their Aunts will. Her will stated that her house was to be left to the boys and her cash to their Mum. She became unwell and had to go into a nursing home before her death so the house was sold. As she was unable to rewrite her will it stayed as it was. MiL was the executor of the will. It took nearly a year of wrangling for her to get account details from someone rather unscrupulous so that she could wind up the estate. All this time she told the boys that they would get what the house sold for and she would keep the remainder as it was their house. Then it changed to her setting up a buisness in their names (all three of them). The week before the money came through she decided against all of that. She got the boys round to theirs to discuss it all and told them that was not going to happen. She was going to give them 15K each and keep the rest in an account that she would invest. BiL was really mad, 41 years old, 2 kids, scraping by as wife not at work as niece only 2 at time. Very happily married, just celebrated 10 years of marriage. DH didn't give a hoot, again happily married (6 years for us), 2 kids, both of us working.
Her reasons for doing this was that she didn't want either of them to lose their money as it was their pensions.
SiL and I are both very offended by this. SiL had £10k of her inheritance given to her early by her parents when they moved and it went towards buying their house. I have inherited £1000 when we didn't have 2 brass farthings to rub together and it was used to buy a car so that we could ferry our expanded family around.
MiL has made us both out to be money grabbing thieving little witches and doesn't seem to think that our marriages will last. She also doesn't seem to care what would happen to our children should we ever split.
The worst part of it all though is that she doesn't trust her sons enough to know that they are astute enough to protect their money and not blow it all on go gos. Unfortunately this course of action will serve to see them never get their inheritance because it will all be spent on her nursing home fees when she reaches that age.

I wish she'd never built it up like she did and she's spent the darn lot of it. Instead she has it sitting in an account where it is benefitting nobody. She won't touch it so the whole lot will be spent on care home fees.
It's very sad because she's really upset all of us (except DH who doesn't understand the personal slight) yet none of us care about the money. Just the way she did it. It makes a clear statement of distrust about your heirs' spouses.
If it's that important to you just buy them a house each and put it in their names only. It will still cause offence I expect but at least they would have somewhere to go if they do ever get divorced.

If the house was left to your DH, then your MIL does not own it. Whilst it shouldn't be used for carefees, unless the council can argue this must have been gifted to her, it does mean that it is not protected in the event you and DH divorce, or indeed if you claim benefits without declaring this as savings..

I can understand why you would rather not do anything about it, but from what I have gathered, I think your MIL needs some advice here.

Kaz2904

It's fine to bequeath it all to your DD's. What is not fine is for you to not want their husbands anywhere near the money.
In our case that is what's caused the issues from MiL. If she'd just leave everything to the boys which is what I expect her to do that's fine. Whatever she does with her money is fine. What is not fine is for her to tell her sons that they are not allowed to spend their inheritance. She has even told them that they are not allowed to spend the money that she's given them from their Aunts inheritance and that they have to keep it for an investment :rolleyes:.
She stated she was going to keep the rest safe for their pensions but surely when they get to pensionable age they will be allowed to spend their money on their family . After all, what is the point in scrimping and saving to leave an inheritance which you then don't want your whole family to benefit from?
What if one of your DD's wanted to go on holiday with some of her money? Is she allowed to pay for the whole family or just herself and her children?

There's nothing wrong with wanting the best for your children but you can't control their futures and you could adverseley affect them by your actions.