New baby - sleep problems!

idea

Hi everyone. This is my first post, so please be gentle with me.

I am having a really tough time right now, baby is nearly three weeks old and is totally nocturnal- she sleeps all day and is awake all night (unless she sleeps next to me in the bed, which is not a good solution). Husband is tired and so am I! Does anyone have any advice as to how I can change this round? Or, is it perfectly normal and am I just being silly? Thing is that i've started to dread going to bed as I know i'll be up all night and I need to try and keep baby quiet and it's making me miserable!

Really grateful for any help... Thank you x

Krystaltips

It is perfectly normal, she doesn't know the difference between day and night yet... When she's awake at night keep everything low key, quiet noises, very little interation and dim lights... Try the opposite during the day, strip her off to change her nappy, try and keep her awake a little between feeds... Eventually she will get the message

Taye

she's 3 weeks old generally at 3 weeks they are awake every few hours for feeds and hugs regardless baby's don't really get into the "night and day" thing for several months as the need sleep several times during the day and can't really be kept awake all day, nor can they be expected to sleep right the way though what she is doing is compleatly normal. My youngest didn't sleep though the night till he was about 12 months old.

what she is doing is totally normal, and it's to be expected in the early days tbh at 3 weeks she's still abit little to even start trying to train into a routine. Your not alone there are millions of shattered parents everywhere.

The best thing i can suggest is for you to sleep when she does, if she go's to sleep in the middle of the afternoon take a nap yourself. I think as parents because we are used to sleeping at night and bieng awake all day when we get new baby's we get into the habit of staying awake all day because it's normal and then getting shattered at night because the baby is awake.

Really you need to start catching as much sleep as you can as often as you can it won't seem half as bad when your not shattered.

rev229

It is all very normal, lots of babies are noctornal. Did you have a normal delivery? It may sound an odd question. I had a ventose delivery with DS and he cried non stop and fed non-stop. I was a midwife but still not a clue to why he was like this. A friend suggested I see an oesteopath which I did. DS basically was in pain due to being pulled out. Babies feed and suck to relieve pain. After his first session at 7 weeks he was quiet and slept. He needed quite a few sessions but he was much improved. DD went to the oesteopath at day 2 she was a normal delivery she had no problems. When I was a community midwife I would suggest this to mums who had a C/S ventose and forcepts. Another thing to try is having a warm bath with you baby before his last feed. Some nice skin to skin in the bath. Ask DH to dress baby while you sort yourself out. Feed her in a quiet dimmly lit room. If she has the habit of waking when you put her in her bed, try warming her bed with a warm hot water bottle so her bed is nice and cosy when you lay her in it. Please do not put her into her bed with the water bottle, she will be too hot so remove it. Night feeds should be done with as little stimulation as possible, change her nappy only if she has a bowel movement, nappys are very absorbant, dim lights etc. If you are breast feeding frequent feeds at night are quite normal until the early hours. Most breastfed babies sleep better in the latter part of the night. Also if you are breast feeding you need to eat and drink well yourself. If you are really getting upset by all of this please contact and speak to your health visitor. They have heard it all before and will be able to help, you are not alone! HTH

Raksha

I found it helped to learn some relaxation techniques myself, so when the babies slept, I could sleep too. My OH was of the 'baby needs feeding' type, so he would be snoring away while I was trying to get back to sleep, and I was getting frustrated with the snoring because I felt he was rubbing it in. Once I learned to relax and drop off as soon as I'd put the baby back down, it was a lot easier.

I know this doesn't answer your initial question - others seem to have done that already, but I hope it helps.

Enjoy your little one

idea

Thank you all for your messages. Baby was eventually delivered by emergency C section after very long labour. I think that I am more worried and stressed about husband being tired than me - does that make sense? I don't have to go to work if you know what I mean. Maybe I am trying to run before I walk.

Will try the hot water bottle tonight and see if that helps. It is only that she is quite happy to sleep in her moses basket all day, but not during the night! I think i'm probably just being a bit rubbish and oversensitive.

Might still go and see an osteopath, one of my friends also suggested that. I'm up for anything that might help!

What do people think about waking her during the day though? I am currently waking her for feeds every 4 hours as i'm paranoid that she isn't getting enough food!

Babies - they should come with a manual! Thank you everyone x

Taye

I didn't wake either of mine, i fed them when they demanded it and they turned out fine, if they where sleeping i just let them sleep and used the time to get some kip myself. I think the only time i'd "wake" a baby is if there where concern's over it's weight otherwise i figure babys and small children are pretty good at letting mum's know when it's dinner time.

MrsTinks

They do come with a manual... unfortunately most babies haven't read it
I'm 4 days overdue at the moment and my mum has already set my expectations lol she said don't count on a decent nights sleep for the first 2 months at least
I'm lucky - my DH can get by on hardly any sleep most of the time and we have a spare bedroom if he really needs to catch up on some z's
Ofcourse my daughter will be perfect, not keep us up at night, not get colic or other issues and generally amaze everyone in hoe easy she's going to be... Ok ok ok don't ruin my dreams

rev229

You are not rubbish! You are a new mum full of hormones and very normal!! We ahve all been there. I was a midwife before I had kids and just cried when I brought home DS!!! My DH thought I knew it all!! It is a very big learning curve. My babies are 12 and 10DS 12 is a pre teen. Not only do I need amanual on pre teens but also sub titles as he just grunts at me, and he is taller than me. All the advice I gave my new mums was the things I learnt from being a mum!. You are worrying about DH don't, men survive!! They soon learn to sleep through crying babies at night and if that bad they will sleep elsewhere. You will soon be arguing about how many minutes sleep you each had, and who,has the harder job. Him going to work or you at home with baby. (We have it harder of course!!!) At least a work he had adults to talk to and can have a hot drink rather than luke warm or stone cold. You are dealing with lots at the moment, emergency C/S, sleep deprevation, hormones, visitors, thank-you notes and trying to be a super wife and mum. You are normal! We lived on pasta for weeks as I never had time to cook, husband slept in the spare bedroom, and the visitors were not offered a cup of tea so left sooner rather than later. Just do the basic housework, leave the phone an answerphone and speak to whoyou want too and when. Have a nap when baby does, you don't have to get out of bed, just rest you have had major surgery. Anyway if granny/grandad offer help say yes ie cook ameal take baby out for a walk. hoover, washing ,changing beds anything. If friends pop round ask them to help no body will mind. Honest.

choccybuttons

Hi

Have a look at the gina ford contented little baby book. Her routines are quite strict but worked a treat for me for getting bump into a good sleep routine, going to sleep on his own etc. I was at my whits end around 1 month old and this saved my life. It was tough for a couple of weeks implementing the set naps times etc but so worth staying in the house for a couple of weeks to get it sorted.

Chuck OH into spare room with some ear plugs every other night. That way he can get some sleep.

I used to love it when people say sleep when they sleep. I just couldnt do it.

anguk

Just a quick thought but does she sleep in a different cot/crib during the night? If so you could try using the crib you use during the day on a night-time too.

When I had my son he was settled during the day but more restless during the night, after a coule of weeks I decided to carry his daytime crib upstairs at night and use that, he was so much more settled.

I'd also agree about taking a nap during the day when the baby was sleeping, I did that with both my babies. Who cares if the housework doesn't get done, mother & baby are more important.