Unusual situation?

Mrs_Boo_Boo

I would say that sounds fine and if it is clearly noted then everyone knows where they stand. I'm not adverse to anything different cos I'm not a traditionalist when it comes to weddings. It was just a bit of a shock yesterday especially when we were expected to hang around on the edges whilst everyone else was fully involved. When we got married we did it all 'strange' cos we got married on the Friday (registry office) and had the reception on the Saturday so the majority of people could only make the Saturday.

jillymit

Unless the ushers double as bouncers I though anyone is able to attend the church service. It is after all an 'open house'.

I would have also wrongly assumed that if I had been invited to the wedding that would include the reception. Good job you hadn't just taken a seat and tucked into the starter!

I will double check any invites I receive in future, thanks for the heads up.

kelda_shelton

I think thats odd - i would have just invite you to the evening do.

If they really wanted for you to come to the service they culd have aput a little note in the card saying, wed love to see you at the service of you can make it or something..

debtfreein4years

i find that really weird. the people who are invited to the church are the people im inviting for the whole day and the ones that are getting a meal and then buffet later in the evening.

i would have been so uncomfortable and i think depending on how close we were would have made my feelings well known after the event so not as to spoil the brides day. but definetly a word in her parents ear is needed.

shellnapier

my cermony is not open house - as its only seats 40

weeclick

Im a bit shocked to see what youve wrote!! I find it strange that they could "cut out" some guests from the middle of the event and doesnt really make sense imho!

Im glad you were able to make the best of a bad situation and hope that not everyone has a wedding so confusing and a little insulting tbh - I still cant believe they invited you to everything but not eat! :O

Belease

shellnapier wrote: »

my cermony is not open house - as its only seats 40

All ceremonies have to be accessible to the public and clearly signposted so someone can burst in at the 'anyone have any objections?' bit.

I've been invited to a similar thing like this - I think it's getting to be more common. Only the way I was invited was it was the evening do which was the main bit, and then a little card had the ceremony name and time on it, which I only noticed the other day. I had assumed I was only invited to the reception! I think a good way of doing it is the way people are mentioning, just adding in 'we'd also love to see you at the ceremony'. But it's a really tricky situation. One of the venues I'm looking at isn't even a hotel, so if someone turned up for the breakfast I'd imagine it would be incredibly awkward. This is definitely something to bear in mind.

debtfreein4years wrote: »

i find that really weird. the people who are invited to the church are the people im inviting for the whole day and the ones that are getting a meal and then buffet later in the evening.

i would have been so uncomfortable and i think depending on how close we were would have made my feelings well known after the event so not as to spoil the brides day. but definetly a word in her parents ear is needed.

I think the point is that the poster is not close with the actual couple getting married - I'm inviting some of my parents friends, but I am paying for it and I can't afford to pay for the £56 + per head charge on top of the buffet prices for all of my families friends as well as my own. Why cause bad feelings because a couple can't afford to feed everyone attending the ceremony two very expensive meals in one day? Especially if you don't know who is paying and what their budget is - it's not a snub, it's a sad case of being forced to make some very hard decisions. No bride enjoys editing their guest lists!

hundredk

Modern way seems to be to cut costs on main reception. I have had invite to main reception for one as opposed to "+guest", on the basis that I am the friend/family they are inviting and not a partner who is a stranger. This way if no of heads are limited twice as many friends get invited.

Amontylado

Any suggestions as to how we deal with this problem...
We have a close family friend who moved away a few years ago, and now has a partner and children (he never married but asked my OH to be best man if he did!). We keep in touch and he stays with us when here on business but we've never met his partner and children. We'd love to invite him to our wedding but as always there are limits on numbers and there are no other children coming. Would it be acceptable to send an invitation just to him or would that be very bad form? I know he'd feel quite hurt if not invited, or just invited to the evening do, and we do want him to be there for the whole thing...but...if the family come too then that means 3 real friends will have to be excluded. Help!

PasturesNew

The meal can be horrendously expensive - and you also have to limit the guests because of the size of the chosen venue (whether it was chosen on cost or location).

I have been invited to a wedding where it would cost them £50 to have me fed. Outrageous! I've declined that one because it would cost me £250 or more just to attend and buy a present - and I have another one just 4 weeks later which I am going to.