Not looking for sypathy but need help desperately.

dinkylou

Matty,

Really sorry to hear of the sad circumstances which have led to your debt.

Here are my suggestions to help.

By my calcultations you are overspending each month and so that cutbacks need to be made asap.

Could you go onto a PAYG mobile to cut that bill?

Your petrol is high - could you travel less or drive slower?

Going out has to go or be cut right down - could your friends come to you for example or not drink much when you re out?

You cant afford £400 per year for clothes, you need to cut down on this by shopping in cheaper shops or not as many clothes.

Take lunch with you into work to save money eating out.

And the main thing I would do is talk to your parents about cutting down your rent.
I know you dont want to admit to them the extent of your debts, but maybe they will be understanding. You dont need to give them exact figures but if they can drop this for you, it will be a big help.

With regards to your debt, pay off the highest APR first which is your Barclaycard. Then cut this up and dont get another.

You need to think about using all 'spare money to throw at your debts if you want rid of them.

Good luck

x

ms_london

MATTY11 wrote:

hsbc has 4 years to run northern rock one has 10 years one has 9 years. I am living with my parents because I would cripple myself if I didn't. It is not perfect but I have no choice. I also cannot contemplate being ready to move out with anyone else for a long time. I am 25 years old so obviously miss my independance but to get out of debt living back there is a small sacrifice.

That's fair enough. I wasnt implying that you shouldnt be living with your parents, and if its the best thing for you at the moment then fair enough - independence is overrated :0)

Imelda

Hi Matty,

You have received lots of good advice in the posts already, all I want to say is, tell your parents, if you can. I guess they know about your gambling addiction and so probably have a good idea about your debt too. They can help you, especially as they live with you. I have just realised how much I have been overspending and plucked up the courage to tell my folks, my mum has taken all my cards and now gives me "pocket money" (seriously don't laugh!) I am 25 too. I moved out last year and just didn't change my spending habits, my debits are by no means large but were heading that way.

I wish you all the best, please keep us posted with your plans.

Imelda

MATTY11

My parents do not know about my gambling. I am ashamed to tell them. I am determined to beat it without causing them further worry. My mum has been amazing since Chloe's death but it has broken her seeing me so low really do not want to cause her any more grief.

skanger

Matty

At the risk of getting brerated, I would like to offer the following.

I cannot claim to understand the loss you must be feeling, I can however relate to your Gambling addiction, having been there myself. (Not that you ever recover)

I would suggest that you give serious consideration to bankruptcy, you have no assets, and a pile of debt. This would give you the clean slate and clean start you need to move on. I don't think anyone would criticise you for it.

Skanger

headchef

skanger wrote:

Matty
I can however relate to your Gambling addiction, having been there myself. (Not that you ever recover)

I think the chances are he will recover from the gambling. My friend lost her partner in a car accident and although she didn't turn to gambling (or at least - I don't THINK she did) we all made comments to her along the lines of 'you DESERVE to win the lottery etc.' We (her friends) were convinced that after life had robbered her of a loved one it would make it up to her by showering riches on her! It sounds absolutely barmy but we were 'only' in our twenties at the time :rolleyes: .
Of course it didn't happen but over time she has built up her life again and through her own efforts.
I wonder whether your friends say the same to you Matty? I think once you move through the process of grief your addiction will lessen.

sanfrancisco

MATTY11 wrote:

My parents do not know about my gambling. I am ashamed to tell them. I am determined to beat it without causing them further worry. My mum has been amazing since Chloe's death but it has broken her seeing me so low really do not want to cause her any more grief.

You will not be causing her anymore grief. She loves you and it will break her heart even more if she continues to watch you unhappy. Seek their help. Most people are understanding and it sounds like you have great parents.

The other thing I wanted to say was that you seem very comitted to sorting yourself out. The gambling and the debt. Many people come on here asking for advice and you can spot instantly the poeple who are comitted to sorting it and the ones that just want it gone, but with no effort. You will get there in the end. One day everything will seem normal again.

Tr@cker

I too can relate to the gambling problem, i assume you got involved with the dreaded on-line gaming using credit cards-i'd place strict regulations on this by the way-its an increasing problem. If this is the case first thing to do is get yourself barred from these sites.
You're still a young man and thats a big point in your favour, im in my 50's now and gambling has plagued me on and off for years. Most of your life is still in front of you.
An IVA might be the best option as this avoids the stigma and publicity associated with bankruptcy but for this you'll need an insovency practitioner and
the fee could be around £3000 but this could be added as part of the IVA. You are also not subject to the restrictions of bankruptcy.
A visit to your local CAB for more expert (free) advice is a starting point i would suggest.

amosworks

Hey matey,

Sorry to hear your story but I think you came to the right place

Good luck!

quietheart

MATTY11 wrote:

My parents do not know about my gambling. I am ashamed to tell them. I am determined to beat it without causing them further worry. My mum has been amazing since Chloe's death but it has broken her seeing me so low really do not want to cause her any more grief.

Do try and talk to them, they sound wonderful and they know you so well, they will know how hard you are finding things, giving them a chance to help would empower them and make them feel that can do something positive to get you back on your feet.