I Have Spent All My Adult Life In Debt...

Jaelor

I've just turned 30 and I've been in debt since I was 19 - bloody scary. Got a car loan for £3500 at 19, met DH at 20 and we bought our first house. Had no idea how to budget, etc, so got all our white goods on HP..struggled, upped the car loan, had to get a credit card in order to pay for a trip to the dentist and that's where it all went wrong - DH has a very "I want..." attitude to, so I remember him sulking as I wouldn't buy him a PlayStation on it as he was due to have a minor op and wanted it whilst recuperating at home...that was the start of the slippery slope.

So, here I am, aged 30, 6 month old son, stupidly high mortgage and made the worst mistake of our lives last year by signing up with FirstPlus - and because DH decided to take the protection, we know owe £13k on top of what we originally borrowed!! We are now trying to sell our house, rent and go bankrupt - we've been let down on the childcare front by family, so can't afford to pay everything...

Very depressing, but I think even DH has learnt his lesson this time - not proud of looking at going bankrupt at 30 but am willing to live with the stigma and humiliation for a year or so if it means I can get my life on the right path and give my son a decent life.

dottyanne

oh D&DD, you have been soooo nice to me for the past couple of day's and i've only just read your story - you seem a very brave lady to me and you are an inspiriation aswell. I too have 3 boys and a big boy of a husband who wnats and 'needs' as much as the other kids!! I also have - wait for it - 4 step-kids although they are older, 22, 17, 16 and the youngest 13. It's really hard to say no all the time but i figure if I 9being a capital I) can work this debt out myself (with a little help from my friends on here!) then life will become a lot easier for everyone.

:A

Hipkiss

Hiya,

I too have been in debt all my adult life. I'm only 31 now, but stemming from having depression for the last 15 years and also 2 nervous breakdowns myself - spending seemed to be my only friend.

It does take time - I went bankrupt last year and although I feel bad that it came to that, it made me seriously change my ways.

Still not fully there yet though,t here are times when I impulse buy when I know I shouldn't (especially if I feel quite low), but am now looking at other ways of finding therapy.


HK

D&DD

Thanks so much to all my fellow posters who have bared their souls too and for the kind words It saddens me to think I'm not the only one who's in this position but I am happy to think we've found our way to this site and hopefully all changed our way we handle money for the rest of our lives too keep at it gang we'll all get there in the end :T

dottyanne

D&DD wrote:

Thanks so much to all my fellow posters who have bared their souls too and for the kind words It saddens me to think I'm not the only one who's in this position but I am happy to think we've found our way to this site and hopefully all changed our way we handle money for the rest of our lives too keep at it gang we'll all get there in the end :T

Hi D&DD, dotty here again! i know its sad that were all in this boat - but we have and are still learning some great lessons. Once I am clear of debt (dont quite know when this will be) I am DETERMINED never to get into it again - will remember how its made me feel, lack of sleep etc. and never go down that path again..

Keep in touch , been doing my sums tonight - about half way through then had to stop due to massive headache and kids pestering but will add up ALL my debts soon - have to face it properly some time> speak soon xx

Bothered!

d&dd

You said you had nothing to show for all the debt,

You have your children.....I always look at my boys and even though giving them what they want has made me strapped for cash atleast I have them to laugh and joke with.... :j

Peppa_Pig_5

I have been in debt most of my adult life too. Bought our house 8 years ago for £46k, now have a £108k mortgage. Remortgaged a few times to pay off build up of debts and ok did a few home improvements. Last time we did this to consolidate was September last year, just 6 months ago. Then the following 3 months we changed our car twice, bought a few things for the house and before we knew it the debt was nearly £11k, plus the £108k mortgage. But glad I had my lightbulb moment and joined this site in December as I am determined this will never happen again. No longer use the credit cards and have moved to better rates on all the debt. Still a long way to go, but can't wait to clear the debt and start overpaying on the mortgage.

Thanks for sharing your story with us D&DD, feels good to do the same.

Peppa
x

LookingAhead

Me too.....got first loan at 18 (1989) to buy a car. Only £400. My Mum decided to pay it off for me & I could pay her back at 0%. That was ok. Then I decided to resist the poll tax when it came out......which was such a stupid thing to do as I had to borrow money to pay it in the end as I was frightened of going to court/possibly prison (I was green).

So whilst I was at it, I borrowed some more to get a better car...oh & I took their offer of a VISA card as well. I absolutely cringe when I look back and see how it all started. I've not been out of debt since.

Awful awful awful awful AWFUL!! :eek: I feel so stupid!!!

But, this is the year to make a stand (for me) and begin to claw it back. I started to feel like I have taken back control of my financial situation recently and it made me feel good!

Bothered!

Glad I am not the only one to keep remortgaging....

I am rapidly approaching 45 (2 wks to go), the light bulb switches on! gotta cut back, tighten up or I will never clear my 100k mortgage, some of my old school friends are mortgage free now and sunny themselves regularly, my earlier married days were spent out on the town waiting til early 30's to start a family etc.

D&DD

I've decided to add to this thread as my tale continues Things are coming together nicely now I'm a trained Nerd :rotfl: I've managed not to add to our debt at all in these last few months in fact I've been a good girl and even paid extra off where I can.:A
I think there's a lot of us struggling with extra outgoings at the moment too with the kids off school..even baking industrial size portions of food seems to go nowhere my dinner lady book has portions for 96 in it and I'm even thinking of trying them out soon :eek:
I do however feel so much more content even though we're still skint! I will be forever grateful to my friends on here who all pulled me out of my pit of despair ,while still trying to climb out of their own troubles :T