Foster caring

silkyuk9

Ive just seen the ad on tv about foster caring. Both myself and my wife have often said we would like to foster/or think about foster parenting.

Our children have grown up and flown the family home, our son in the army and daughter moved to live with her boyfriend.

we both have full time jobs with the NHS and have plenty of room in our home for a child who needs fostering.

Im just asking really if any other MSE's are foster parents and what the process is like. I just wolud like a bit of info from anyone who fosters and what to expect.

trippy

I looked into this last year but was told my kids were too young (which on reflection they are/were). But the thing they said that really stayed with me was that you had to imagine looking after and having to love a child you really didn't like. As that would be the worst-case scenario. That said, I would definitely look into it if I was in your position. Good luck!

libbyc3

Hi,
me and OH are carers, different situation as we have kids of our own at home.
Its an amazing job - but yes sometimes you do have to live with and look after a child you don't actually like - that is really hard, having said that can anyone actually say they liked their own kids 100% of the time!?!
The assessment process is about nine months - and prior to that you have to complete a 'skills to foster course'. Your SW will want to know all the whys and wherefores and at times it can be frustrating and you think you will never get there.
It is very difficult to describe the actual task of fostering someone elses child. They are not yours, never will be, and you cannot and should not treat them as you would your own. their needs are so different and result from background that is so far out of most peoples experience (thankfully).
The rewards are fantastic, we feel so lucky to be doing our job and I would highly recommend it.
feel free to ask if there's any more you need to know, it's a job / lifestyle i am passionate about and though we have only been doing it for 3 years, i wish i had had a current carer to ask questions of while i was being assessed and at the very start.

pixieface_3

Hi there I too worked for the NHS as a midwife but felt I needed a total change, I totally agree with Libby, it seemed to take us ages to finally become foster carers but it was well worth it and the course is not that daunting at all. It is a very rewarding job and it can have it's up's and down's, I have looked after some great kids and not had that many down's and if we have down's then issue's have easily been sorted out, feel free to PM me for further advice if needed...and good luck

libbydoll

We have just finished the fostering courses and are on the waiting list to proceed to the next stage. We applied in October last year, did the four day course in Feb, and have been told that it'll be no sooner than this October before we get kids. We have three wee girls at home so the social work department advised us to apply for respite fostering to see how our kids manage with having foster kids in the house, before we apply for temporary fostering. I can't wait......being a parent is the best job in the world!

rescuedogs

I am a foster carer and just foster part time, at weekends. You can consider starting part-time to see how you get on

I love the actual fostering part but hate all the paperwork and extra training that is required of us.

Good luck

flutterbyuk25

Is there a minimum age for fostering?

I am 27 and will have my own home (hopefully) by end of this year. I have always wanted to foster, but wonder if I may be too young.

I currently work full time with underprivilaged teens/young adults so have experience of that age group.

x

gingernutbizkit

I am 26 and a full time foster carer so your age won't be a problem. I also had experience of working with teenagers prior to fostering.

It's a great 'job' and we are lucky to have two fab boys who will be with us for 10 years+. We do treat ours like part of the family because to us they are.

I would recommend it to anyone but in my experience it's dealing with the social workers that's the problem.... not the kids!!!!

Ging x

flutterbyuk25

thanks gingernutbizkit!

That's really good news. Finger's crossed I'll be able to put something in action next year then.

x

Alikay

DH and I have recently applied to foster, and will be attending the training weekends next month. We were a bit surprised by the depth of questioning on the reference forms....choose your main referees very carefully!! The questions are a bit ambiguous and could be daunting, but luckily both sets of close friends and the relative we nominated were able to deal with it. Just don't choose a referee who's sexist, racist, homophobic ....any other kind of "ist"....as it's vital that they get across the message that you're fully committed to nurturing any child's racial, cultural, spiritual and sexual development as well as all the usual parent-y type stuff you do when you raise your own brood.:D

gingernutbizkit

also be aware that your assessment stays with you for your whole career and will be read by quite a few people.... children's social workers, reviewing panel, your social workers etc.... it can make you feel very vulnerable. It should of course be a confidential document however I have had information 'leaked'