Wedding money - the best way to give

Ruthie5

£35 - £45

what about folding notes into origami shapes and putting them into a nice card and envelope?

ncgirl

£45 - £65

We're getting married in 4 weeks and we did not ask anyone for anything when we sent out invites. We live together and have everything we need and we're having a budget honeymoon, which we're paying for. We just want people to be able to make it to the wedding. Times are really hard for people at the moment and we would not want to burden anyone with the pressure of having to spend more money. I'm sure there are some people who will not want to turn up empty handed, so it will be a nice surprise on the day. Asking for money is a bit vulgar.

Lara44

It's a tricky one. Last year we went to a wedding and we had to pay 2 train fares plus 2 nights accommodation. It was pricey, and we opted for cheap b&bs rather than staying in the wedding hotel.

The bride and groom had asked for no presents, or if people were desperate to do something they asked for help for replacing the roof on their house. We only gave £20 between us as travel and accommodation had cost around £250, and we had no money left.

I was a bit embarrassed about it, but they were really cool and sent us a lovely thank you card and photo of us. If we hadn't had to travel we would have liked to give at least £50 between the two of us.

rinroo

£35 - £45

If It was a close friend of mine - by close i mean see each other at least 1/2 a week and ring each other numerous times a week then i would give a nice new £50 note.

If it was a semi close friend, that means we only catch up regularly once a fortnight or longer then i would give £30.

freyasmum

Pee wrote: »

A good friend has invited me to her wedding. Instead of presents, they are asking for money towards their honeymoon, which I think is a great idea - the most important part of a wedding IMO.

I wanted to do a poll to see how much people would give - hope that works, I'm not too good with new technology.

I also wondered how people would give it. I assumed a cheque but I was talking to another of the guests who is giving cash. What would you do?

Erm, not one to be pedantic or anything but, isn't actually getting married the most important part of a wedding?

My ex and I gave his two brothers what we could afford (seeing as staying at the seemingly essential very expensive hotel was costing us a fortune!), which was £50 and his cousin that he hardly ever sees got £30. We gave it as cash in a card.

We were obviously at the full thing for his brothers and the evening reception for his cousin.

I think you give what you can afford, and don't feel like you have to bow to pressure from other friends

Poppy9

up to £10

I can't believe you are being asked to pay for the honeymoon. I just think it's so rude to ask for money/vouchers etc. it's like asking you to pay to attend the wedding.

Murtle

£45 - £65

I'd give it as cash, but nice new notes - cheques are a pain to bank :-)

xx

dieselhead

£25 - £35

This is a very emotive subject that seems to have been debated a lot recently between me and my friends. People have very strong views about this which is fair enough. If it were me having already set up home the best wedding gift would be a lovely honeymoon, I love holidays and I have everything else I need. Part of the issue for me is that wedding gifts are part of tradition for me in the same was birthday and christmas gifts are. Also I have very very strong tastes and much prefer to pick things out for myself, otherwise they will just wind up on ebay or in a cupboard. So I think that money towards a honeymoon is great, especially as all the thankyou cards can be postcards from your honeymoon.

To the OP I would probably give a gift of around £20 - £30 which does seem a little less than a lot of people on here but that is what I could afford and certainly wouldn't be ashamed of that.

xJayJayx

£45 - £65

Poppy9 wrote: »

I can't believe you are being asked to pay for the honeymoon. I just think it's so rude to ask for money/vouchers etc. it's like asking you to pay to attend the wedding.

It is actually asking for a donation to the honeymoon *IF* you can afford it rather than buying the 52nd bath towel and tea towel set when you've been living together for years. If you can't then it doesn't matter but most people, as seen in this post, feel obliged to give something even if it is a fiver.
I happen to think it is a good idea and at least you know where the money, if you give any, is going to.

Poppy9

up to £10

xJayJayx wrote: »

It is actually asking for a donation to the honeymoon *IF* you can afford it rather than buying the 52nd bath towel and tea towel set when you've been living together for years. If you can't then it doesn't matter but most people, as seen in this post, feel obliged to give something even if it is a fiver.
I happen to think it is a good idea and at least you know where the money, if you give any, is going to.

You hit the nail on the head "feel obliged to give ".

If they don't need anything to set up home then they should not obligate their guests to give cash because they are invited to the wedding. I was raised to believe it is very bad manners to ask for gifts and certaintly to ask for cash.

Last wedding I went to was a remarriage so two homes into one. There was no gift list and no requests for money, all they wanted was people's company to celebrate their wedding.

I think the same applies to children asking for money at christmas instead of gifts. In 14 years my DD has never asked for money despite saying many years that there is nothing she wants. It's strange but I always manage to get her a gift that she does want.