FINALLY my SOA! Pleeease look. Really could do with using it today!

Eupho

angelicmary85 wrote: »

He'll hate you for it but cut off his bus fare fund, tell him that'll he just have to pay it, simple as that!! His EMA is for his education so tell him to use it on his education...and not trying to pull the birds

hahah! :rotfl:
Thanks!

Eupho

Dinah93 wrote: »

Reward for going to college my foot! If at 17 he can't see that getting an education is in his best interest he's only going to end up in a McJob in the end anyway! At 17 he's an adult, I worked over 30 hours a week in a pub from the day after my 16th birthday, lessened my hours a bit (but never dropped them, 15 a week was a min) at exam time, and raised them in the summer holidays. I didn't get pocket money after 16, my phone was paid for by me, and I got 3 As and a B at A-level so if he wants to get the grades, he still will, but he might not have as much time to watch tv/play computer games/see his mates etc.

His £30 a week is enough for his phone and bus pass, if he wants more than this for spends, he can get a job. Personally I think the EMA payment encourages people to relly on the state and isn't teaching kids the value of work, he needs to see that working for his money is rewarding, and he can't relly on you and the government to support him now he's an adult.

I agree that some of your food bill could be shaved, as you can't work more hours at a regular job, how about doing some of the up your income ideas, like being a avon/body shop rep, paid online surveys, mystery shopping, selling spare stuff on ebay/amazon etc. Would help boost your income so that you can meet the debt repayments.

re my son: thanks I need to hear that! :beer: I often feel like a 'meany' when I touch on the subject with him.. but it definitely needs to change.

I have started using Ebay a gain.. (a LITTLE)... but I'm sure there's a lot I can get rid of. I'll look into the other things :beer:

Silverbird

Good grief, your kids are living a cushty life, aren't they?! At 13 I had a paper-round and, having never received pocket money before other than 25p for a pick n mix as a kid, it was so wonderful to be able to buy clothes and things that I wanted. At 18 I still had 2 paper-rounds, was at College full-time and had 2 Saturday jobs! I was paying for my own clothes, CDs etc as soon as I was getting my own money and before that I simply had to wait for birthdays and Christmas if I wanted anything. I was certainly paying for my own bus-pass when I attended College! It's his choice to go there and now he's actually classed as an adult you shouldn't still have to support him and he's perfectly capable of getting a job - any job. There are lots of opportunities about for school-leavers and students and it looks great on the CV too, of course. Tell him you simply can't afford to pay his bus-pass any more and he'll have to do this himself. I'm sure he'll understand. As for paying his mobile phone bill ... blimey! This kid's getting it all easy. It's his phone, his calls, his texts and his responsibility. Make sure he knows this and that you won't be giving him any more handouts.

I know the above all sounds really harsh, but I don't mean it to be. You'd be doing both you and your son a huge favour right now if you told him to become more independent and responsible for his own outgoings. There's a danger he'll not learn the value of money and that you have to work for.

I would also cease pocket money for the other children as well. This is unnecessary. They will have to wait for Christmas and birthdays if they want something - at least, that's how we were brought up. If we did chores then we would get the odd 50p (ie. weeding the back garden), but we didn't get a regular pocket money and never expected it. We knew our parents weren't well off.

Another pointer for the future is that as soon as I was out of College and working (18), I was expected to pay 'rent' to my parents (which was £35 a week at the time). I considered it a small price to pay for a house, a cleaner, a cook and a handyman, though it did take me looking at rental costs in the local area to form this opinion!

Also, I was told at an early age that if I wanted to go to Uni then it would be up to me to finance that. I accepted that and decided not to go out of choice, rather than financial reasons, but it may be worth telling your son this now rather than later. My parents said they felt bad and would help me if they could, but just couldn't afford to put us all through Uni (4 of us) and it was unfair to help one and not the others.

As I say, I do hope the above doesn't come across as rude or harsh - I'm just trying to help and hope I've given you some ideas.

Elspeth

Hi Eupho

Think you might like to print this out for your son.... http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/EducationAndLearning/14To19/MoneyToLearn/EMA/DG_066945
And quote specificallly: "Whatever you decide to do, EMA could help you with the cost of books, travel, equipment or anything useful to continue learning."

From the page for Parents/Carers: "EMA is there to help with your child’s costs if they stay in learning. If your household income is less than £30,810 then your child can get help with £10, £20 or £30 a week towards the cost of books, travel or equipment." Looks cut and dried to me!

When I (and my two siblings, one boy and one girl) were 16 we got given the Child Benefit every month and some modest sum on top which we had to manage as our allowance; for all clothes, lunches, phone calls (pre-mobiles!), petrol/buses, gifts to others and treats for ourselves. Result: we all got jobs.

For my parents (although they weren't rolling in cash) it was about teaching us about managing money so we could stand on our own feet. So you could 'sell' it to your eldest as being about him reaching adulthood and being independent?

I'm sure he won't like it but don't you want him to learn that you have to 'cut your cloth according to your means'?

Oh, and I second the water meter suggestion. We were paying £39 month - now down to £6 for two of us. And you get a trail period you can cancel in if it turns out not to save you money.

Eupho

Silverbird wrote: »

Good grief, your kids are living a cushty life, aren't they?! At 13 I had a paper-round and, having never received pocket money before other than 25p for a pick n mix as a kid, it was so wonderful to be able to buy clothes and things that I wanted. At 19 I still had 2 paper-rounds, was at College full-time and had 2 Saturday jobs! I was paying for my own clothes, CDs etc as soon as I was getting my own money and before that I simply had to wait for birthdays and Christmas if I wanted anything. I was certainly paying for my own bus-pass when I attended College! It's his choice to go there and now he's actually classed as an adult you shouldn't still have to support him and he's perfectly capable of getting a job - any job. There are lots of opportunities about for school-leavers and students and it looks great on the CV too, of course. Tell him you simply can't afford to pay his bus-pass any more and he'll have to do this himself. I'm sure he'll understand. As for paying his mobile phone bill ... blimey! This kid's getting it all easy. It's his phone, his calls, his texts and his responsibility. Make sure he knows this and that you won't be giving him any more handouts.

I know the above all sounds really harsh, but I don't mean it to be. You'd be doing both you and your son a huge favour right now if you told him to become more independent and responsible for his own outgoings. There's a danger he'll not learn the value of money and that you have to work for it if you don't.

I would also cease pocket money for the other children as well. This is unnecessary. They will have to wait for Christmas and birthdays if they want something - at least, that's how we were brought up. If we did chores then we would get the odd 50p (ie. weeding the back garden), but we didn't get a regular pocket money and never expected it. We knew our parents weren't well off.

Another pointer for the future is that as soon as I was out of College and working, I was expected to pay 'rent' to my parents (which was £35 a week at the time). I considered it a small price to pay for a house, a cleaner, a cook and a handyman, though it did take me looking at rental costs in the local area to form this opinion!

As I say, I do hope the above doesn't come across as rude or harsh - I'm just trying to help and hope I've given you some ideas.

Noooo.. it doesn't sound harsh at all.. I know you are right.. they DO have it easy in my house.
I have worked since I was 13.. started just in a hotel chambermaid/waitress.. some evenings and weekends.. then in the hols too.

I know they (many teens) are bone idle these days.. including mine.

I AM going to get to the bottom of this.

:beer:

Eupho

Elspeth wrote: »

Hi Eupho

Think you might like to print this out for your son.... http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/EducationAndLearning/14To19/MoneyToLearn/EMA/DG_066945
And quote specificallly: "Whatever you decide to do, EMA could help you with the cost of books, travel, equipment or anything useful to continue learning."

From the page for Parents/Carers: "EMA is there to help with your child’s costs if they stay in learning. If your household income is less than £30,810 then your child can get help with £10, £20 or £30 a week towards the cost of books, travel or equipment." Looks cut and dried to me!

When I (and my two siblings, one boy and one girl) were 16 we got given the Child Benefit every month and some modest sum on top which we had to manage as our allowance; for all clothes, lunches, phone calls (pre-mobiles!), petrol/buses, gifts to others and treats for ourselves. Result: we all got jobs.

For my parents (although they weren't rolling in cash) it was about teaching us about managing money so we could stand on our own feet. So you could 'sell' it to your eldest as being about him reaching adulthood and being independent?

I'm sure he won't like it but don't you want him to learn that you have to 'cut your cloth according to your means'?

Oh, and I second the water meter suggestion. We were paying £39 month - now down to £6 for two of us. And you get a trail period you can cancel in if it turns out not to save you money.

THANKYOU!.. I didn't even know that about the EMA!.. I will be printing that for him to see!

Water meter.. I HAVE tried to have one fitted.. but they cant do it.. its one of the properties it cant be fitted on.. doesnt fit//work or something.. but I HAVE tried really. I'm stuck with paying £62pm .. arrrghh!

Fortheloveofmoney

I agree with the other posters that it's time for a reality check for number 1 son. He is an adult and should be paying for more of his own stuff.

Other than the roof over my head and food in my stomach (which is all we really need) I paid for all my other expenses myself from the age of 16. I worked part time (about 20 hours per week) whilst doing my A-Levels to pay for everything else and save for a car.

Part of being a parent is teaching kids responsibility. I think he needs to know how much things cost and what he can do to help.

Edited to add that I too worked from the age of 12. I had 2 paper rounds, a friday evening job delivering eggs and 2 saturday jobs. I just loved the money :rotfl:

Elspeth

Glad to help. I'd say stick to your guns with your son - he HAS to learn!

On the water meter front: since you can't have a water meter are you paying the amount you were before or an "assessed charge"?

As I understand it, if a water meter is impracticable (sp?) the company has to do a proper assessement of your likely usage rather than an (over?) estimate based on your area.
____
Right. According to Martin: "This roughly means that the more your home can be rented out for, the more you'll pay. It's staggering that even though rates were abolished in 1990, water bills still depend on them."

"Water companies must fit meters free of charge upon request - except in Scotland - unless it's justifiably impractical (for instance, those living in blocks of flats with shared pipes). On the rare occasions this excuse is invoked, if your water usage is limited, request an “assessed charge bill” where rather than rateable value, your bill is worked out using details such as how many people live in your flat."

More here: http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/utilities/cut-water-bills#when

Eupho

Elspeth wrote: »

Glad to help. I'd say stick to your guns with your son - he HAS to learn!

On the water meter front: since you can't have a water meter are you paying the amount you were before or an "assessed charge"?

As I understand it, if a water meter is impracticable (sp?) the company has to do a proper assessement of your likely usage rather than an (over?) estimate based on your area. Link to follow in two ticks...

Ohhh.. I dont know actually.. I'll look into that! :beer:

roswell

Am i right in thinking you have £34 K of debts and only £450 cash income a month ?