Can I stop banks giving my wife credit?

TheEffect

rich6870 wrote: »

Yes, married for nearly 14 years, house with mortgage, co-own everything in it and a car. No savings! To make things worse, our house is worth £25,000 less than when we bought it 2 yrs ago.

In that case, I'd be worried. If your wife lost her job and couldn't afford to repay the debts, you'd risk losing the house. Not a great future for the kids. Talk to her and sort it out.

Ansu

Maybe it's not actually a problem?

We don't know anything about her income/financial commitments so can't really be objective.

I agree it's a problem if she cannot meet the payments, but is that the case this time? Or is it more to do with the fact that you don't know what she has? (Financially)

rich6870

Thanks everyone. I'll give it a try and if she's not interested, I'll have no choice but to end our relationship.

rich6870

Ansu, I know her income and after our bills, she spends it all. The visa bills are on top of this.
Until February this year both our salaries went into one account and I don't spend much really so she's used our joint income to pay her bills. We now split everything and my spare money is for me to control.

She should be in a worse position as I will not be helping. This has not changed her attitude so I expect her debts will accelerate due to less being paid off.

What a silly person she is.

ThinkingOfLinking

TheEffect wrote: »

In that case, I'd be worried. If your wife lost her job and couldn't afford to repay the debts, you'd risk losing the house. Not a great future for the kids. Talk to her and sort it out.

I have to agree with this. She needs help; if in her line of work she can't see this *the above*, then there is something really wrong. I'm not a mother (yet!) but I know I'd put my kids first no matter what, and wouldn't accrue silly debts.

I also feel that marriage is based on trust, respect and understanding, both given and received MUTUALLY and she is betraying your trust, showing you no respect and not trying to understand how anyone else feels but her as well as testing your understanding.

You two need to have a long talk, with no distractions; send the kids to their grandparents' for the night, unplug the phone and TV and sit there and give it one last shot.

If she lies and/or evades you, then you'd be well within your rights to walk away. This is coming from a 23 year old unmarried female with a 45 year old head on her shoulders.

You seem a really decent person and I hope things work out for you; thanks for showing me there are some nice men still out there.

chattychappy

Seems to me a real pity if the marriage has to end as really it seems to be immaturity on your wife's part - I hope she can "grow out of it" quick enough to save things.

Anyway, back to your original question. Except where there is some kind of joint interest, I'm sure banks won't discuss your wife's situation with you.

BUT, I wonder if you were to write to them and "tip them off" about the situation, they might just take a commercial view and alter her access to credit. Or at least "check her out". Possibly an ethical minefield for the bank... but not discussing a customer's private situation is not the same as not acting on information received... Just a thought.

rich6870

Thanks very much. She is very selfish, wheras I'm happy when those around me that I care for are happy.
We've both had decent pay rises over the last few years and it's not enough. If she won a million pounds, she'd spend just that bit more.

cocktail

rich6870 wrote: »

Thanks very much. She is very selfish, wheras I'm happy when those around me that I care for are happy.
We've both had decent pay rises over the last few years and it's not enough. If she won a million pounds, she'd spend just that bit more.

looks like you need a new wife/better off without one. sorry, but thats the impression i get from the postings. all the best

vet8

Can I inject a bit of common sense in this? If you were to leave her what about the children? Would you expect to take them away from her? The courts might not accept that.

If you leave them with her you will still be liable for their maintenance. I do not know how much your wife earns, but really a debt of £7,000 is not that much, some people on here owe FAR more that that.

I appreciate you feel betrayed, but is this really a reason to end your marriage? Think of the effect on the children, children from broken homes fair far worse at school and in the future. Surely you owe it to them to make a real effort.

Your wife needs to speak to someone, there are plenty of debt consellors out there. The debt free wannabe board could help out there.

Parki_2

Aye Seven grand is not a lot but better to deal with it before its 8,9 then 14, 15 thousand etc.

Good luck