** Monday 11th Daily Chat - New Week, new start!! **

(Land_of)_Maz

Snaggles wrote: »

He's only excluded till tomorrow, but at the moment I feel like the relationship with the school has broken down too much for him to be able to return.

They have excluded him for swearing on the basis that the language he used was 'abusive' (the 'f' word).

My argument is:

- He is autistic and outbursts like this have always been part of his condition. They have never excluded him before, or even hinted that they might.

- Excluding an autistic child for swearing is discriminating against him because of a disability - his condition has side effects he can't yet control. Autistic adults are often unable to control these outbursts, so an 8 year old has virtually no chance.

- They wont apply for funding so he can have extra help because 'his behaviour isn't bad enough'. If it's not bad enough, or frequent enough, to warrant funding, how can they justify excluding him.

- He isn't using language in an abusive way, he is eight years old, and doesn't even know what the words mean. Calling it abuse is ridiculous in the extreme.

- He hit a teacher last week - awful I know - but the point I am making here is that he wasn't excluded for that because they 'try to be tolerant as they are aware of his condition'. There was no hint when we went to discuss that with the head that exclusion was imminent. How can a few swear words be less tolerable than violence. What message is that giving Ryan, and the other children?

- It is an illegal exclusion because not only have we not been given paperwork but Education Leeds haven't even been informed.

- I feel like they are trying to 'manage him away' from the school. The government's inclusion policy says Ryan has to attend mainstream education - so therefore the school should be geared up to cope with autistic children (they have 2 at the school, the other has also been excluded on more than one occasion). Ryan takes up extra resource and costs them extra money but doesn't bring in any extra funding. The school is skint. It doesn't take a genius...


I know none of this is moneysaving related, but can anyone think of anything obvious I've missed?

Is it just me, or does a little bit of you want to stay at the school and force them to deal with it in a better way... if you take Ryan out, you're giving the school the easy route....

if the school suits you geographically and you can get the backing of the disability team behind you, you can maybe use this whole situation to get the school more in tune with the needs of Ryan and subsequentl children with similar needs....

You could be a trailblazer!!!

just a thought...... although for Ryan's peace of mind and stability, i can see the attraction in finding somewhere with those things already in place... if he were to move to another mainstream school, who's to say that they will be better equipt? Make sure he goes somewhere with the right facilities... of course that could be a logistical nightmare.....

spud30

Snaggs, I have no advice hun, but I do have to say, Ryan is a very lucky lad to have you fighting his corner for him :T

Could you team up with the other family and work together to get help for both children?

(Land_of)_Maz

spud30 wrote: »

I do feel better Maz, yes hun. But my legs were absolutely shot afterwards. How the heck will I make it to either the pub or train station?

I need to improve still so what do i do to make me legs better?

EMBRACE THE PAIN!! It shows you were working!!

it only really hurts the first time at a new distance, or new pace.... your legs won't feel that bad again as long as you revisit that distance each week...... and the strength comes from the repitition....

do 5k weekday / 5k weekday / and 10k at the weekend each week until Leeds and you'll be there.... anything else training wise is a bonus....

redsquirrel80

Ooh on the running front I did 4.5 miles yesterday, and felt surprisingly good!

spud30

(Land_of)_Maz wrote: »

EMBRACE THE PAIN!! It shows you were working!!

it only really hurts the first time at a new distance, or new pace.... your legs won't feel that bad again as long as you revisit that distance each week...... and the strength comes from the repitition....

do 5k weekday / 5k weekday / and 10k at the weekend each week until Leeds and you'll be there.... anything else training wise is a bonus....

It wasnt so much pain, more a numb jellyness

I'm slightly sore today, but much better than I was expecting.

Right, so 5k tomorrow and Thursday, then 10k either Saturday or Sunday. Cool, I'll keep at it, ta hun :T

Snaggles

(Land_of)_Maz wrote: »

Is it just me, or does a little bit of you want to stay at the school and force them to deal with it in a better way... if you take Ryan out, you're giving the school the easy route....

if the school suits you geographically and you can get the backing of the disability team behind you, you can maybe use this whole situation to get the school more in tune with the needs of Ryan and subsequentl children with similar needs....

You could be a trailblazer!!!

just a thought...... although for Ryan's peace of mind and stability, i can see the attraction in finding somewhere with those things already in place... if he were to move to another mainstream school, who's to say that they will be better equipt? Make sure he goes somewhere with the right facilities... of course that could be a logistical nightmare.....

You're right, part of me wants to force them to retract the exclusion and find better ways to help Ryan stay within the mainstream education system.

And if they can't, then they need to fight for more funding for him - OR - they need to be saying that mainstream education isn't suitable, so that an alternative can be found. (Actually I think he will be fine in mainstream education IF he has the right support).

They talked us out of requesting an assessment for a statement because they convinced us they were already doing everything necessary to help him, and he wasn't 'bad' enough to need a statement. :mad:

And I want to make a fool out of the pathetic, cowardly head teacher - but that's just on a personal level and I wont let that cloud my judgement over what is best for Ryan.

sammy115

Okay is this where I admit to my son being excluded for 'sexually abusing a classroom assistant'. sounds awful doesn't it but what he and his sad mate were doing was muttering 'rude' words under their breath to embarress her (which clearly worked). She didn't say anything at the time but wrote a letter to the head to complain. I was mortified! I had to fight to get that removed from his school file.

Nothing to do with your case but something I thought I would share.

I actually think you put your case across quite succinctly Snags, but as I think Maz was saying - think about what YOU want to achieve for Ryan and what is right for Ryan and concentrate on that, rather than trying to make a point (although if you can do both so much the better). I personally think schools are far too much about targets and funding and not enough about the kids and their well being.

Toto

I'm curious about what help ryan is getting with his day to day school work? Does he have 1/1 assistance? Or is he just left to muddle along? His behaviour could be a direct result of him not coping in the classroom.

And how about group activities? PE? I have yet to find a child with ASD who can cope with busy crowded environments. Amber is only just joining in with some of the PE classes in her school, she is in a class of 8 children and has specific therapy to help her cope, after 9 years of this she can now join in for about half of the session. Does Ryan have help with this?

How about playtimes? does he have a quiet space where he can go when it all gets too much for him? The same at lunchtime, does he get to go for his meals away from the other children or is he just expected to join in the very noisy busy dining hall?

What most people can't really grasp is how autistic people see the world. Us non autistic folk have a filtering system for our senses, so we can walk down the road and block out some of the sounds, smells, sights etc. We don't hear the road noise as loud as we would someone talking next to us, and we don't hear the sound of footprints or clothes rustling at the same volume as everything else. Our brains have learned to filter out what we don't need to hear etc so we can focus on what our senses do need to be aware of. Autistic people don't have this ability so everything is equal, can you imagine how scary and noisy their world is?

Imagine a time when you have had the worst cold or flu ever and imagine how it is to be thrust into a busy supermarket on a saturday afternoon, that feeling is how it is every day for autistic people. This is why they have those meltdown moments. Their world is chaotic and scary.

Ryan should have help with all of his school day, from the moment he enters the playground in the morning to the moment he leaves, he should have a seperate area where he can go to chill for a little while, somewhere safe and quiet. He should have someone with him who understands his needs and who can recognise when things are getting too much for him.

Just punishing his behaviour is unacceptable and completely unfair to him. He is being punished for things totally out of his control. Excluding him is just giving the school a few days away from their responsibilities, it does nothing to help him at all. And frankly this school should be utterly ashamed of how they are treating him.

(Land_of)_Maz

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Ooh on the running front I did 4.5 miles yesterday, and felt surprisingly good!

well done babes!

Go on, brag a bit! what was your time?

I'm guessing 46minutes

sallyx

Had a lovely walk to work

Spud if you want to improve your legs what you need to do now is do maybe 5K twice a week and then on the weekend or whenever you have the most time the 10k, you will gradually find it easier. Are you running on the treadie at all or is it all walking?

Snags, you are handling ryans situation in the best possible way but I do agree with Maz, is he generally happy at the school, has friends etc? If you can get them sorted it might be the better option.??