opinions please, child maintainance question

mikeouk

I pay my ex £45 a week towards our 7yo son and i usualy have him stop with me 2 nights a week. Shes going on holiday for 2 weeks and ill have our son for that time. Is it acceptable to expect a reduction in my maintainance payment this month and if so how much?

lostinrates

mikeouk wrote: »

I pay my ex £45 a week towards our 7yo son and i usualy have him stop with me 2 nights a week. Shes going on holiday for 2 weeks and ill have our son for that time. Is it acceptable to expect a reduction in my maintainance payment this month and if so how much?

Do you plan to increase the payment when you go on holiday and don't have him for the wo days a week?

tattycath

similarly when you go on holiday you aren't actually living in your house for the time you are away-does your landlord/mortgage company tell you not to pay that 2 weeks money coz you're away? Your ex still has to pay for a roof over your little ones head whether she is away on holiday or not.

bluebell13

No it isn't reasonable at all. £45 won't buy much towards feeding/clothing/housing a child anyway.

mikeouk

oh dear,,,here we go:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: i should have known ill be battleing with female logic on this one

lostinrates you have a point, so, if i went away on a 2 week holiday, thats means she would have him an extra 4 nights. So £45 divided by 5 = £9 per night, so id give her an extra £36 that month, and I can reduce her payment by 10x £9 which is £90, that fair right?

tattycath yes your right, so i also have to pay to put a roof over his head, and extra to feed him etc


bluebell13 so if thats the case, why isnt it acceptable for me to expect the same in return when im feeding ,clothing, housing him?

ill put my flack jacket on now

Mojisola

mikeouk wrote: »

lostinrates you have a point, so, if i went away on a 2 week holiday, thats means she would have him an extra 4 nights. So £45 divided by 5 = £9 per night, so id give her an extra £36 that month, and I can reduce her payment by 10x £9 which is £90, that fair right?

This seems reasonable but wouldn't it all average out if you paid the same amount every week then you can go on holiday and she can go on holiday and there's no hassle?

MrsTinks

Obvious answer... speak to your ex wife For the sake of £90 I'd say it's worth discussing it with her instead of deciding based on advice from people on a forum as if you were to reduce the payment without discussing it then I'd expect her to be less than impressed... If it buys you a peaceful life (based on the hassle my dad had with access to my halfsister...) then I'd say it might just be easier to carry on paying the £45 a week even whilst he's with you

lostinrates

mikeouk wrote: »

oh dear,,,here we go:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: i should have known ill be battleing with female logic on this one

I have no gripe: I'm not a parent, never had a divorce. It just seems a banal position to take. Hence my question. But of course, as you must deal with female logic so I must deal with what a I'll put down to a personal, rather than gender related, dislike of not being agreed with or questioned. No offence was meant. I even used a smilie to highlight that.

As Mojisola submits, I would have thought the amount was averaged much in the way other monthly income/outgoings are.

tattycath

mikeouk wrote: »

oh dear,,,here we go:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: i should have known ill be battleing with female logic on this one

lostinrates you have a point, so, if i went away on a 2 week holiday, thats means she would have him an extra 4 nights. So £45 divided by 5 = £9 per night, so id give her an extra £36 that month, and I can reduce her payment by 10x £9 which is £90, that fair right?
That isn't how it works-my ex tried that...once

tattycath yes your right, so i also have to pay to put a roof over his head, and extra to feed him etc
so do you have to pay extra to put a roof over the little ones head when she is on holiday-i.e more rent or higher mortgage? As for the extra to feed him-a seven year old isn't exactly going to eat you out of house and home


bluebell13 so if thats the case, why isnt it acceptable for me to expect the same in return when im feeding ,clothing, housing him?
The £45 you give your ex goes towards looking after your son-along with other money your ex has to stump up-your £45 will not cover all your sons' expenses by any means

ill put my flack jacket on now
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

---

mikeouk

MrsTine wrote: »

Obvious answer... speak to your ex wife For the sake of £90 I'd say it's worth discussing it with her instead of deciding based on advice from people on a forum as if you were to reduce the payment without discussing it then I'd expect her to be less than impressed... If it buys you a peaceful life (based on the hassle my dad had with access to my halfsister...) then I'd say it might just be easier to carry on paying the £45 a week even whilst he's with you

yeh well this is what i actualy though. She isnt exactly the most accomodating person. I just get a little peeved when i think of the 1000,s i paid in court fees to actualy get access in the first place. I dont like the feeling of everything being heaped in the mothers favour every time. I think ill just suck it up.

MrsTinks

Count your lucky stars... my father was denied access from about 18 months till my half sister was 15/16 and had ended up in a home for "troubled children" with a criminal record and had refused to return home to her mums... eventually she made contact with us herself though
Didn't stop my dad being forced to pay thousands and thousands in maintenance and the cost of applying for access annually just to have it turned down (laws are a little different in Denmark sadly...)
for the sake of £90... go for the easy life