opinions please, child maintainance question

shellsuit

When the kids Dad goes on holiday, he still pays for the kids.

When WE go away, then I don't expect it from him.

pinkshoes

Isn't it logical that she then gives you £45 maintenance on those two weeks when you look after him, and if you ever go on holiday, then you give her some extra money for that week??

For all those that seemed to be man bashing, I thought the whole point of maintenance was that you either share custody 50/50, or if one person has the majority custody, the other helps out financially, regardless of which parent has majority custody?

bluebell13

mikeouk wrote: »

oh dear,,,here we go:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: i should have known ill be battleing with female logic on this one

lostinrates you have a point, so, if i went away on a 2 week holiday, thats means she would have him an extra 4 nights. So £45 divided by 5 = £9 per night, so id give her an extra £36 that month, and I can reduce her payment by 10x £9 which is £90, that fair right?

tattycath yes your right, so i also have to pay to put a roof over his head, and extra to feed him etc


bluebell13 so if thats the case, why isnt it acceptable for me to expect the same in return when im feeding ,clothing, housing him?

ill put my flack jacket on now

You asked for opinions - you got mine. Not entirely sure why it was necessary to bring 'female logic' into it. If you only wanted replies from men who agree with you, you should have said so!

looby75

If I went on holiday for 2 weeks I wouldn't expect ex to pay maintenance for those 2 weeks, the maintenance is supposed to pay for the children's needs. If I'm on holiday I'm not going to be paying for those needs, my ex would be, so why should he have to pay twice?

I can kind of see the point about still needing to pay rent/mortgage for ect, but maintenance is supposed to cover more than just the roof over the childs head.

tattycath

looby75 wrote: »

I can kind of see the point about still needing to pay rent/mortgage for ect, but maintenance is supposed to cover more than just the roof over the childs head.

Yes I agree-mortgage was just an example of one of the bills you still pay whether on holiday or not.

BTW-I'm not man bashing either-I think all this maintenance stuff and access thing can be really complicated- My Kids and their Dad is easily sorted between ourselves. but my OHs kids and his access, maintenance etc is really complicated and went through official bodies!!!
Hope you sort it

dawnydee73

mikeouk wrote: »

I pay my ex £45 a week towards our 7yo son and i usualy have him stop with me 2 nights a week. Shes going on holiday for 2 weeks and ill have our son for that time. Is it acceptable to expect a reduction in my maintainance payment this month and if so how much?

I do think it is acceptable to ask for a reduction, you will have your son for the 2 weeks and that money, no doubt would be spent on him.

bestpud

I wouldn't expect my ex to pay maintenance in these circumstances - seems cheeky!

mikeouk

bluebell13 wrote: »

You asked for opinions - you got mine. Not entirely sure why it was necessary to bring 'female logic' into it. If you only wanted replies from men who agree with you, you should have said so!

because it was female logic, a man in the same position as me wouldnt have given the reply you did and it was a contradiction anyway because if it costs more than £45 to cloth, feed and house a child, then why shouldnt my ex pay towards that if hes with me? just thought your reply smacked of double standards.

Id just like to add, that i often pay for extras such as sports activities, ive paid for bikes, football shirts, holidays, etc etc. I always help her out if she wants me to have him extra nights or needs me to pick him up from school. I always have him bank holiday sunday nights and always new years eve so she can have a night out. So im not some petty father who likes to penny pinch and resents paying maintenance, i just think if theres a rule for the mother, the same should apply to the father.

bluebell13

mikeouk wrote: »

because it was female logic, a man in the same position as me wouldnt have given the reply you did and it was a contradiction anyway because if it costs more than £45 to cloth, feed and house a child, then why shouldnt my ex pay towards that if hes with me? just thought your reply smacked of double standards.

Id just like to add, that i often pay for extras such as sports activities, ive paid for bikes, football shirts, holidays, etc etc. I always help her out if she wants me to have him extra nights or needs me to pick him up from school. I always have him bank holiday sunday nights and always new years eve so she can have a night out. So im not some petty father who likes to penny pinch and resents paying maintenance, i just think if theres a rule for the mother, the same should apply to the father.

Well maybe you should have put a bit more information in the original post then. And for your information a woman would have got exactly the same response from me if they had posted the same question. You brought up the gender issue...I didnt. If I had stated 'because you are a man you should pay up regardless' then you would be perfectly entitled to respond in this way. You know nothing about me or my life, so don't accuse me of double standards. My post was merely an opinion on the question you asked...nothing more.

mikeouk

bluebell13 wrote: »

Well maybe you should have put a bit more information in the original post then. And for your information a woman would have got exactly the same response from me if they had posted the same question. You brought up the gender issue...I didnt. If I had stated 'because you are a man you should pay up regardless' then you would be perfectly entitled to respond in this way. You know nothing about me or my life, so don't accuse me of double standards. My post was merely an opinion on the question you asked...nothing more.

yes ok, your right, i should have put more info in my first post, i shouldnt have brought up the gender issue, i dont know anything about you or your life. i shouldnt have accused you of double standards,,,,im sorry, please forgive me :A