My DD feels she is being discriminated against!

pipkin71

remembered_nights wrote: »

Equal opps means she gets treated the same as when DD1 was that age No way to win! I'm 15 months older than my sister and cor, I fought for everything and it was 'sooooooooooo unfair' when she got something at the same time (like our ears pierced, ohh how my 11 year old heart fumed!)

It's tough isn't it. I always thought my younger sister was spoilt - actually she was spoilt

Hopefully it will pass and obviously it's something many have experience of so I guess I ride the storm.

She's a minx at times but I love her dearly

pipkin71

Quackers wrote: »

Thats what I do now I'm afraid.

And I'm fairly blunt with my daughter over it too.

Although her rants are different - because her older sister is disabled I discriminate against her because I do more for her disabled sister.

Yep, I do. Because she needs it.

But its unfair apparently.

My little sis is 8yrs younger than me and I was always amazed at how differently she got treated to me....

....and its kind of reassuring to read that it happens in every family.

Tis just life me thinks.

Unfortunately, over the past year I have given up trying to justify my actions - I dont know what to say to my youngest daughter anymore to get her to understand that her sister is so different to her. She is 14 so I believe she does understand but she just resents and seems to hate her older sister so much that nothing I say makes any difference at all

It is reassuring to know others are going through this quackers, it's still hard though when you have to deal with the battles.

It must be hard thinking your youngest hates her sister. I'm not at a hate stage, more DD2 thinks DD1 is the favourite, but then DD1 thinks DD2 gets away with everything so I can't win.

I'm sure as your DD gets older things will change and she wont seem to resent her sister so much.

Quackers

pipkin71 wrote: »

I'm sure as your DD gets older things will change and she wont seem to resent her sister so much.

ditto to you

I adore my sister now & we are really good friends.

Here's to living in hope.....:rotfl:

(and wishing I could ship them somewhere for a few years:D)

jellyhead

With only 11 months between us we got treated the same, except my younger sister got away with everything because she was the youngest, while I was expected to show maturity and be responsible. I wished my mum would let me stay up ten minutes later than her or something, just because I was sick of us being 'the girls' and being treated the same all the time, even down to christmas presents when we were little.

I vividly remember being disappointed on christmas day just after I'd turned 3 because I was given the same baby toys as my sister. If I ever got anything she didn't, for example a couple of years later we got different dolls, she would destroy mine and was never punished, and mine was never replaced.

I prefer your way of doing things pips, and I think there's a huge difference between my 12 year old now, and when he was 10. He is treated differently in lots of ways, those 2 years have made a difference.

If perhaps there are things you think maybe your 10 year old should be able to do, and in hindsight you should have let the eldest do them sooner, then perhaps you could back down on some things but make sure that the eldest does still have some extra privileges, maybe add a new one.

pipkin71

Thanks jellyhead.

I was talking to my friend today at our home ed meet and she pointed out that the group of girls who spend most of their time together are so much older than DD2 [12,13, 14] and so she is treated as older in the group, but then when we're at home she is treated her age [and her friends outside are her age] which has given me something to think about.

I'm not going to back down on the film she wants to watch. She isn't going to have a key back again but I will let her go off more within the group of friends when we go on meets.

I don't think any of that will stop her thinking that DD1 is favoured because she's naturally going to do more but it's a start

jellyhead

My son was 11 and a quarter when he got a key He loses on average 4 a year.

patchwork_cat

We get 'my friends are allowed' a lot, particularly about bedtime. Do you home educate Pipkin?

Spendless

I'm 7 years older than my older sibling. When I was 16 almost 17 I wanted my ears pierced for the 2nd time. I asked my mum who refused, she also went off on one accusing me of already having it done-I hadn't!. When my sister was 14 my mum accompanied ther to the jewellers to have her ears pierced for the 2nd time.

To this day I still think it unfair-and I'm in my 40's.:D

re-the film she wants to watch. It's not a '12' is it? I only recently discovered that in a cinema the certificate would be 12a (under 12's can watch as long as accompanied by an adult) but when it's a dvd it remains as a '12' certificate (because it can't be bought/hired by an under 12).

pipkin71

patchwork_cat wrote: »

We get 'my friends are allowed' a lot, particularly about bedtime. Do you home educate Pipkin?

I do patchwork