Pre nup

Rikki

blondeman wrote: »

Thanks for some interesting input, its not a point of love or being ready, its more about being organised in the event of divorce. A very common event.
There is no harm if you both agree which by the way we do, i just wanted to know if a pre nup is worth the money, and i think the answer is it may be, or perhaps not!

Cheers

Blondeman

What a negative way to start a marriage. :sad:

mookiandco

listerofsmeg wrote: »

going off on a tangent...

We're buying a house, but the money is coming from ME, not my partner. I inherited it.

Our solicitor wants my partner to sign a waver saying if we split, he has no claim to the house. Also that the house is solely in my name.

Now, I trust him completely and we plan to marry when we get round to organising it. I believe we won't split up and we'll live happily ever after. BUT my partner pointed out, he's a lot older than me. At some point in the future, there is a possiblility he will go senile. And when people go senile, they sometimes change for the worst.

So, while I know in his right mind, he wouldn't fleece me for the house, he's going to sign the waver and the house will be in my name INCASE he loses his mind and becomes a different person.

So... what I'm saying is, you can never be too careful, even if you trust someone.

This is a similar situation as a pre-nup. I hope your solicitor has advised you that if you do get married, the waiver will be of little affect (although may be taken into consideration). As soon as you live there together as a married couple it becomes the matrimonial home. The waiver will be pretty meaningless and the starting point will be 50:50. Again the court will have to take into account all of the circumstances in deciding on whether the 50:50 should be less or more.

As a couple who are not married, the waiver is the right thing to do to prevent him claiming that you were holding a share of the property on trust for him when you split. If the property remains in your name, you will more than likely keep the property for yourself. Its only if you marry that he will have a claim regardless of the waiver.

pinkshoes

blondeman wrote: »

Thanks for some interesting input, its not a point of love or being ready, its more about being organised in the event of divorce. A very common event.
There is no harm if you both agree which by the way we do, i just wanted to know if a pre nup is worth the money, and i think the answer is it may be, or perhaps not!

Cheers

Blondeman

Again, Mr Blondeman, you are missing the point of marriage.

You don't get married thinking there's a 1 in 3 chance you'll end up divorced. You get married because you whole heartedly love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them no matter what.

Are you really sure you want to get married???

You should be considering things like provisions for the other partner should one of you die!

Soubrette

blondeman wrote: »

Thanks for some interesting input, its not a point of love or being ready, its more about being organised in the event of divorce. A very common event.
There is no harm if you both agree which by the way we do, i just wanted to know if a pre nup is worth the money, and i think the answer is it may be, or perhaps not!

Cheers

Blondeman

I actually agree that it is much easier when both people go into a marriage with their eyes open

I think there are often problems once married for people who totally fell in love, organised the best wedding ever, looked forward to a life of utter bliss together and then discovered they had a different pov on life, the universe and everything.

but at least the sex was good for a few years

As to whether a pre-nup is worth it, I don't know, I don't think so, but all that discussion about how you feel, even about how things should be split up in a divorce...well that gives you info about the person you are marrying (not least their low level of romanticism ) and can't be anything but a good thing.

Sou

Errata

Perhaps it might be good forward thinking if the OP includes in his pre-nup an agreement on who keeps the child? And the sofa. & etc.

Becles

In personal finances, it's prudent to cover every eventuality to protect your assets.

If you buy a home and furnish it, you insure it as it may get burgled or destroyed in a fire. When you buy a car, insurance is needed as it may get damaged in an accident or stolen. People have insurances in case they have an accident or sickness needing a long time off work, or they may be made redundant. Wills and insurances are arranged covering various outcomes - if you die.... but if you and OH die together .... and so on. Nobody wants any of things to happen, but they do and people make provisions so they know if they do happen, they are covered financially.

Marriage is no different. People go into it expecting it to last forever, but nobody knows what is around the corner. People change and things happen and it makes sense to protect yourself in case the worst does happen.

Jomo

Becles wrote: »

In personal finances, it's prudent to cover every eventuality to protect your assets.

If you buy a home and furnish it, you insure it as it may get burgled or destroyed in a fire. When you buy a car, insurance is needed as it may get damaged in an accident or stolen. People have insurances in case they have an accident or sickness needing a long time off work, or they may be made redundant. Wills and insurances are arranged covering various outcomes - if you die.... but if you and OH die together .... and so on. Nobody wants any of things to happen, but they do and people make provisions so they know if they do happen, they are covered financially.

Marriage is no different. People go into it expecting it to last forever, but nobody knows what is around the corner. People change and things happen and it makes sense to protect yourself in case the worst does happen.

All of the above is true but I can't help thinking that if he is intends to get married, his future wife is already making sacrifices to her career/pension fund by having his children so in this case I don't really think he should be thinking along those lines.:rolleyes:

kindofagilr

No offence but I dont understand people like this.

I wouldnt even contemplate getting a prenup, my pension will be considerably more than my OH and this thought has never crossed my mind

I love him more than life itself, and I certinaly wouldnt be going into a marriage foreseeing that we may divorce.

If you are getting married you should be getting married for life, not thinking oh if we get divorced what will happen to my pension?!?!?

Evansangel

When me and my OH get married im going to uni then onto have a career and he's going to be a stay at home dad therefore probably not working.

But i wouldn't dream of getting a pre nup, i dont think we'll get divorced. But i think he is entitle to some of my pension seeing as he is giving up work so i can have a career in the future

x x

Pee

listerofsmeg wrote: »

going off on a tangent...

We're buying a house, but the money is coming from ME, not my partner. I inherited it.

Our solicitor wants my partner to sign a waver saying if we split, he has no claim to the house. Also that the house is solely in my name.

Now, I trust him completely and we plan to marry when we get round to organising it. I believe we won't split up and we'll live happily ever after. BUT my partner pointed out, he's a lot older than me. At some point in the future, there is a possiblility he will go senile. And when people go senile, they sometimes change for the worst.

So, while I know in his right mind, he wouldn't fleece me for the house, he's going to sign the waver and the house will be in my name INCASE he loses his mind and becomes a different person.

So... what I'm saying is, you can never be too careful, even if you trust someone.

If I was you, I would think very carefully before getting married. If you do, you have a duty to support your OH financially, something that would be enforced by the Local Authority if he needed to go into care.

You may feel that you would rather do what you can do and spend money on things for him to enjoy at that stage rather than pay for the care element.