Maintenance for son

AnxiousMum

Agree with some of the posters here - you have two children, therefore you should be contributing (as should the other parent) to both children according to your incomes.
If you earn less than your ex, obviously you would be paying less on a monthly basis than what he would be paying you - based on the 15% calculations of your individual salaries.
But......IF the child staying with the father is getting all kinds of 'extras' that the daughter isn't - is there anything in British CSA to say that this is an example of the lifestyle that the children are expected to have by the parent - therefore, should be provided to both? To put one kid against another by spoiling one over another, or not providing for one but providing for the other - is not fair to the children, and it simply puts them in the middle of your fights.

silkglade

Hi, having read your post I agree with others that you should follow the CSA guidlines of 15% - 15% for your daughter.

How much does your ex husband pay to you now that he has stopped paying for your son?

I can see why you feel like you do, especially if your ex had not asked for any money towards your son till now. That and the fact he ignores / punishes your daughter for not wanting to move in with him also.

It does seem like he is just trying to cause you unnecessary pain and has been done in a very hurtful way.

My sons dad and I are split up too, but we always work together for what is best for him.... After all is it not about what is best for the children, rather than the parents?

Good luck.

silvercar

Remember it is love and time that counts, not just money. Your son has chosen to live with his father, this decision may be because he sees a more extravagant lifestyle available to him.

Keep the door open and your time available to him. There will come a point in time when he will want his Mum.

In the meantime suggest that your daughter spends more time with her brother and father to secure that bond. If the father clearly has the money to spend, without any intention of matching your lifestyle to his, he should ensure that his daughter also receives treats.