Maintenance for son

lillibet_dripping

Morning all
I don't know whether anyone can answer this question

In 2003, my husband left me, with two small children to bring up (6 and 4 years old). We went through the usual court process to determine maintenance etc. etc. He pays me £275 per child per month.

In 2007, the ex and his new partner moved into this village, some 800 yards away! Our son, then 12 years old, moved in with his father while our daugther chose to stay with me.

As a result, ex stopped maintenance payments for son -understandably.

In September 2008, we went to court (after Cafcass input for the children) to approve the change of residence. After the court, my solicitor asked ex to complete financial paperwork to review the maintenance payments - he flatly refused.

He is now claiming that I am refusing to pay maintenance to him for our son.

My questions are:
1 How often, if at all, should maintenance payments be reviewed, given inflation etc. etc.

2. If our son chose, of his own free will, to move in with his father, am I liable to pay maintenance to his father? I would mention that I always give him pocket money when he visits, and still treat both children the same. Ex, on the other hand, takes son on weekend visits to Europe, sends him to PGL adventure weeks, buys him the latest laptop/phone etc. whilst totally ignoring daughter.

3. What is the best way to negotiate maintenance - not heard very good reports about CSA and can't afford any more solicitors fees!

Hope someone can help
x

sarflee

1. Unless it is written into a court order, there are no set rules for how often maintenance should be reviewed/increased.

2. Unless you involve the CSA or change the court order, there is no legal liability for you to pay maintenance for your son. In fact, if the court order states that your ex should by £xxx for the children this would need to be altered or cancelled before the amounts could change, whether or not there is a change of circumstance, unless there was something written in the court order.

3. I can only give an opinion here. Morally, whether your son lives with his father by choice or not, and whether your ex has plenty of money, I think both parents should contribute to a child financially. My advice would be that you both use the CSA guide to calculate the amounts due, ie 15% of net income minus 15% because you each have a resident child.

DaisyFlower

It doesnt matter if your son chose to live with his father, you would still be liable for maintenance and not sure why you would think otherwise. You were quite happy to pursue it when it was the other way round.

If you both have one child living with you, perhaps you could agree that neither of you pay maintenance and each claim tc/cb for the child that lives with you.

mitchaa

Am i reading this correctly, surely they should cancel each other out and this whole thread is a windup

Your ex is paying you £275pm to keep your daughter but you pay him nothing to keep your son? It does not make the blindest bit of difference if your son chose to live with his father, what a lame excuse, your daughter chose to live with you so so i cannot see your argument:rolleyes:

He should be taking you to the CSA or each should cancel each other out and no maintenance paid for either child.

welshmoneylover

I agree.

I'd cancel the maintenance agreement. I would imagine your son is feeling somewhat neglected!

SuziQ

welshmoneylover wrote: »

I'd cancel the maintenance agreement. I would imagine your son is feeling somewhat neglected!

Why would the son feel neglected if he is spoilt rotten by his dad,whilst his siter gets nothing from the same dad

I expect this question depends on the incomes of the 2 parents. If the father has a good income and the mother doesn't then I would have thought a (smaller) amount would be payable by him to the child not living with him. If I was a dad and I saw one of my kids have a lesser lifestyle than the child living with me I would want to help out. If both parents have the same income then I would think neither should pay anything.

welshmoneylover

I say that because daughter gets money from dad and mam.
son get money from dad but nothing from mam.
perhaps dad is making up for mam not paying maintenance for son while son must be aware dad pays for daughter. ifywim.

just my tuppence

simpywimpy

I would offer to cancel the maintenance but on condition that the daughter gets from the father, the same extras that he gets, ie trips abroad, a phone etc

NASA_2

Your both looking after one child each. I think maintenance should go both ways.

kelloggs36

Unless he claims via the CSA then there is no maintenance payable to him for your son.
However, morally, you should be paying 15% of your net income (minus 15% for the fact that you have a child living with you) - it doesn't make any difference how he came to live with the other parent - he is still your son and so you should be maintaining him. Pocket money doesn't count.

Soubrette

mitchaa wrote: »

Am i reading this correctly, surely they should cancel each other out and this whole thread is a windup

Your ex is paying you £275pm to keep your daughter but you pay him nothing to keep your son? It does not make the blindest bit of difference if your son chose to live with his father, what a lame excuse, your daughter chose to live with you so so i cannot see your argument:rolleyes:

He should be taking you to the CSA or each should cancel each other out and no maintenance paid for either child.

Surely they should only cancel each other out if they are earning roughly similar amounts?

Remember the Sou Mantra A child is supposed to benefit from the income of both parents.

One parent earns £100,000 pa and the other £20,000 pa, each has one child of their two children living with them - is it morally correct and proper that one child had £15,000 spent on it and the other £3000 (assuming both parents spend 15% of income)?

However, lillibet dripping, if I were your ex then I would be asking for maintenance along the guidelines of the CSA. If you refused then I would be going to the CSA directly. If I were you then I would already be paying the ex.

A child should benefit from the income of both parents - even the lesser earning one.

Sou