Neighbour has stolen my much loved cat...

Topbird

Hi

I'm really at my wits end. Last year my much loved rescue cat came home with a collar on. I opened up the tag and it asked for the owner of the cat to contact them, which I did. The lady said that my cat had stayed the night at hers and just wanted to let me know so I didn't worry. I thanked her and said it was no problem, he was always mooching around for food! Over the next few months we acknowledged each other in passing (I have to walk past her house when walking my dog) and had a laugh over how much of a characture he was and how everyone loved him. She even told me that her partner had said she had basically stolen my cat from me and she was worried. I told her that as long as he kept coming home then there was nothing I could do if he wanted to visit her for a bit of fuss.

I then found out that all both her and her neighbours were feeding him tuna, fresh chicken and keeping him in at night. Obviously he stopped coming home. As I passed each morning and evening with my dog she would wave and tell me that he was fast asleep on her bed and laugh. We then had a conversation where I told her that he no longer came home and my young neice was devastated each time she came to visit that he was no longer there. I did think she might stop encouraging him but she didn't.

He went missing for a few days a couple of months ago and she came round to tell me that she was putting posters up for him and wondered if he had 'come home'. He hadn't but turned up at mine a few days later. He was HUGE so wherever he had been he had just gorged himself. I also noticed that she had cut back all his nails. I am fortunate enough that my mother owns a cattery so I took him there for a week to slim down. When he returned I thought he may stay but he went straight out and back to her.

I sent her a text message asking for her not to feed him as I was upset that he no longer came home and that she had cut his nails. She replied saying that it wasn't only her that fed him, she still told everyone that he was my cat and it would cause her problems not feeding him as she fed him along with her other 4 cats. She also said that basically we needed to think about him and where he was happiest. I was cut to the core. I was so upset that I cried for days. For her to think that she basically thinks that he wasn't happy here in the first place. Which he had been for nearly 6 years!!

My other cat misses him and I am now worried that he too will be tempted round there by fresh chick and tuna.

Anyway, it all came too much the other day when I walked past. She was out the front of her house fussing my cat and just glared at me. Almost like rubbing it in. I got home and just cried and cried. I don't feel able to confront her about it as she thinks she is doing the right thing by my cat. Giving him a 'loving' home because I didn't. Which is not true. My other cat comes home and surely if I was such a bad owner, he would find comfort elsewhere.

I KNOW that people don't really OWN cats. I just feel that she has done everything she can to tempt him away from me. He has never looked like a stray, always on the chubby side so there was no way he could have been mistaken for one. However, having just seen him when coming back with the dog, he looks much thinner and much older and I am now worried that he is ill. He is about 14ish.

So my question is... should I just let him go and be grateful if he comes round or fight it and try and get her and her neighbours to stop encouraging him?

I'm just so upset by it all.

Many thanks for reading, any help and guidance much appreciated.

mrcow

I know you're upset, but the cat sounds really happy and cared for. I'm not saying what she's done is right by any stretch of the imagination, but I do question what putting up a fight will achieve. You can't lock the cat up, and you can't have the woman under 24hr surveillance to prevent her from feeding him.

All I can see is arguments and upset which will stay and torment you long after the cat is no longer with us.

Barneysmom

No, it's your cat, not hers and she has no right to feed him and keep him in her home.
Get your cat and keep him indoors for a month or 2, just get a cat litter tray.
If the lady overfeeds your cat or something she does causes him to have to go to the vets for treatment, you can bet your life she'll deny and responsibility towards paying the bills.

What a cheek this woman has, I'm suprised you've stood for it this ong xxxx

picklepick

is she paying for him to have his boosters? worming? flea treatment? if he gets ill will she pay for his verterinary treatment?

id go round and ask her all these questions.... if she says no im afraid id go mental until she agreed not to feed him anymore. id then probably keep him in the house for a couple of weeks until he gets used to you again and then start letting him out again.

shelly

Topbird wrote: »

However, having just seen him when coming back with the dog, he looks much thinner and much older and I am now worried that he is ill. He is about 14ish.

So my question is... should I just let him go and be grateful if he comes round or fight it and try and get her and her neighbours to stop encouraging him?

I'm just so upset by it all.

Many thanks for reading, any help and guidance much appreciated.

Personally I like to let my cat/s come and go as they please and only keep Lily in (and Coco when she was here) when forced to keep her in through illness.
BUT....If this was my cat, as much as I wouldn't like to make her an indoor cat I would, especially if he is looking thin and old/poorly.
Is that an option for you?

I would just go round there and take him as soon as I saw him. In front of her face would be even better.


Our neighbour has 3 maybe 4 cats, two of which are kittens. They like to have a fussing from us if we see them outside but I would never encourage them into the house. Though they do come in if the door is left open.....cheeky monkeys

I would be devastated if this happened to Lily so I wouldn't do it to someone else.
Fight for him is my advice.

Good luck

olias

I'm sorry to the OP, but I really think you have brought this on yourself. You should have nipped this in the bud right at the start. It sounds very much like you have a confidence problem in standing up to others. You do OWN the cat it is YOUR property and part of YOUR family.

You should have stated right at the start, that you did not want them feeding the cat, or taking it into their house. By all means let them 'fuss' it, if they see it in the street or in their garden, but anything else is not on and is out of order.

I think you have left it too late to make an affective stand, but if it were my cat, I would read her (the neighbour that is!) the riot act, as I would do to others who were feeding it. If they say 'it's asleep on my bed..ha ha', then I would firmly ask them to bring it down and hand it back immediately. I would also keep the cat in at night.

Olias

jha

I have been in this situation and the woman who took mine was feeding him such rich foods he had 2 bouts of severe stomach upset which made my vet believe he might have been posioned.After checks he decided he hadn't. I had to pay all vet fees which were about £300 and she still carried on behaving exactly as you described - makes me wonder if it is the same lady!:o

So I have kept my cat in - after weeks of her phoning me to find out if he was ok she gave up - he was microchipped as mine though .

Topbird

He is due for his booster soon so I will have to ask her to bring him round or go and collect him. I am sure she would pay for vets fees and take him to have his booster, if she hasn't already as I think she now thinks she owns him.

Olias, I don't have a confidence problem but I am worried that if I approach her then it will turn nasty. I have stopped myself from doing this as I still have to walk past her house every day and now that the nice weather is here both her neighbours and herself are sat out the front. It makes for an uncomfortable walk past already without them all whispering and pointing as I walk past.

As for keeping him in, I did try that but even with a litter tray he seems to do a 'dirty protest' and messes in the house. Whilst I know all the tricks to prevent him from doing it in the same place, he continued to do it elsewhere.

I know that he is being looked after, but I would NEVER start feeding a cat that I knew belonged to someone else. Its the whole principle of the thing that upsets me so much.

Maybe I should have been stronger when it all started but I never thought for one minute that he would stop coming home so thought she was just being friendly and fussing an old puss. He really is such a characture that its no wonder she has decided to keep him.

I think I will collect him next week to take him for a booster and ask the vet to check him over to make sure he is healthy. If he isn't then I shall have to go round and have a word with her.

I did go round a few weeks ago all prepared with a big speech but she wasn't in and then she did the whole rubbing it in business so got I got mad and that isn't the right frame of mind to speak to her in.

Thanks for all the replies. I'll let you know how I get on next week!

tanith

This happened to us with an elderly lady neighbour, we got so mad that OH went down there and told her in no uncertain terms that she had to stop feeding the cat as it was bought for me as a moving in present when OH and I got married and he was very upset with her for enticing her away.. the lady was very upset and I don't think she spoke to us again... we moved with our cat a couple of years later... she has got a cheek and I know its difficult but I wouldn't let her get away with it...

Running_Horse

Is it an urban myth that you cannot legally own a cat?

My adult education GCSE law teacher used to say this.

Topbird

I'm trying to get the OH to move house just so I can take him with us! So far no joy. He thinks its a bit excessive!!

The thing is the woman knows that he is much loved and missed. She believes that because he keeps coming back to her that he is choosing her over me. Which, yeah I suppose she's right, he is. However, I think if I fed other cats fresh chicken and tuna they would come to me instead!

I have tried getting the fancy cat food for him, which he turned his nose up at. I also tried the cat food she feeds him on, but still no joy. I think he is just so full on the very few occasions he pops in these days that he is just not interested.