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hummm, I'm scared.

edited 28 April 2009 at 6:56PM in Debt-Free Wannabe
49 replies 14K views


  • ikkle87ikkle87 Forumite
    8.4K posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Hi hun,

    I just thought I would say welcome to MSE and don't be scared because everyone here is brilliant.

    Firstly talk to CCCS - even if they can't help you they will give you an idea of a budget and how much you should be trying to pay on a dmp. Mine is done alone without the company and it works.

    Get a pen and paper and write letters, when I first had my LBM I wrote to everyone I owed money to and explained my situation and asked if they could cancel my debt, most people said no but my local council dropped £1132 of rent arrears.

    Then when I did that I wrote to them all again and where applicable requested a CCA, they were all able to provide one but through determination and a lot of letters too and fro i managed to get Welcome to remove £700 interest charges.

    I claimed my bank charges back - not sure on the current situation now though and whether you can still do this as financial hardship.

    I spoke to my college and applied for hardship fund which covers bus fare and my books etc

    Also maybe you could try the survey sites like lightspeed and valued opinions, it wont reduce your debts but you can earn vouchers which you could then use on you and the kids or even save for xmas.
    You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

    xx Mama to a gorgeous Cranio Baby xx
  • sarahs999sarahs999 Forumite
    3.8K posts
    Are you there topsy? Please come back and talk to us. Lots of people here ready to help and listen. There IS a way out and you have taken the first step. xxx
    Debt cleared! [strike]£13,128[/strike] £0!!!
    Saving for maternity leave: £3,300/£3500
    'Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.' Michael Pollan
  • Fire_FoxFire_Fox Forumite
    26K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Bump bump bump!
    Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️
    6.8K posts
    Fire_Fox wrote: »
    Bump bump bump!
    What does that mean? :confused:
    Be thankful for what you have because it could all be taken away tomorrow.;)

  • MolanoleMolanole Forumite
    1.6K posts
    Debt-free and Proud!
    BLUEWKD wrote: »
    What does that mean? :confused:

    It means it's being "bumped" to the top of the page so that other posters see it quickly. This often happens where posts have slipped off the first page quickly and it's important that they are seen.
    Debt Free Nerd No. 89, LBM: April 2006, Debt at highest (Sept 05): £40,939.96
    NOW TOTALLY DEBT FREE!!!!!!!! Woooo hooooooo!!! DEBT FREE DATE: 23 December 2009
  • MolanoleMolanole Forumite
    1.6K posts
    Debt-free and Proud!

    First of all (((((((((HUGE HUGS))))))))))). You have come to the right place. No-one here is judgemental and everyone here is full of practical advice and virtual hugs. You're on your way out of this problem now.

    However, it's very easy to get overwhelmed when debt takes over, and frankly, it sounds to me like you are having to cope with an awful lot which makes debt very difficult to put into perspective. Also, everyone here has suggested lots and lots of excellent things to do but, let's face it, you've a lot on your plate already and sometimes applying for grants, speaking to headteachers, writing letters, getting credit files etc etc can just all seem like too much.

    So, what I suggest as the very very first thing to do is find a friend or family member you know and trust with your problems who will be practical, and spill the beans to them. It helps just to vocalise what's going on and also they may give you a fresh perspective. Frankly though, for a shoulder to cry on is worth it.

    Once you've done that, sit down and write a list of all the things you think you owe, and a list of all the money you have going in and out every month. This for many people is the biggest hurdle to face as seeing it in black and white can drive it home, but it's a very necessary one to be able to take the next, practical steps which the guys on here are so able to support you with.

    We're fond of the term "baby steps" on DFW. But it really is "baby steps" to tackle debts. If it were simpler then this board wouldn't be necessary! The guys on here are fantastic though and will be there for you through every single one of those baby steps too.

    Take care, chin up. It WILL get better, I promise.

    Mola x
    Debt Free Nerd No. 89, LBM: April 2006, Debt at highest (Sept 05): £40,939.96
    NOW TOTALLY DEBT FREE!!!!!!!! Woooo hooooooo!!! DEBT FREE DATE: 23 December 2009
  • Deals_2Deals_2 Forumite
    2.4K posts
    angry when MPs and all these celebrities keep getting money when others shoudl be given chances. they are all up their know what. anyway i subscribe to freecycle and i find ifyou find a local freecycle CAFE which is like a chat area and you want to see if someone can help you with something for free or exchange of service for example then there have been some really kind and helpful people. it is worth trying out anyway. what are you studying by the way?
    topsyhenri wrote: »
    Been lurking here for ages and reading all the posts.

    I'm too scared to face up to my debts; I have no money anyway, (I'm a mature student with children), so what difference does it make..?

    My credit rating is shot to pieces, I can't afford to pay them all what they want - I can barely afford to feed the family, petrol and pay the rent let alone anything else.

    I have one pair of shoes that are falling to bits, my jeans have just died, I can't buy the kids the things they need - they both only have one pair of shoes that they have to wear for everything.

    I haven't got the money to let my son go on his "last year of primary school" week's trip away to Hayling Island but am going to have to find it somehow because I couldn't live with myself if he missed that. I asked if they would let me pay little bits a week - they suggested £10.00 a week....yeah right. That's food for us all per week. I was thinking more like £2/week.

    My 11 year old car is making weird noises, I really need it, (because of where we are), but have no money to fix it, and no breakdown cover for when if does break down. God know's what I'll do when it does eventually go, there's no way I could afford the bus fares to get the children to school every day, let alone me getting to Uni.

    My cat is ill, and I cancelled the pet insurance about 2 years ago due to lack of money; had to go to the vet and "beg" them to see her, even though I had no money. Don't qualify for PDSA because I'm a student. And now I owe them money as well as every body else. But bless them so much for seeing her. :-(

    I haven't paid my 2 credit cards, old bank account, weird student account, e-on gas&elec bill hasn't been paid for about 12 months. Parking tickets, I haven't claimed tax credits for the last year because they said I owed them £2900 - how, I don't know, because I was nothing but honest with. So apparently I still owe them £2900.

    My ex's father pays our council tax. I love him.. Apparently I owe £500 to our landlord for an old british gas bill, (not sure how, thought it was up-to-date when I swapped it from him to me), £250 approx combined water bill on my old house, (again, thought that was paid off when we moved out)... there's probably more but I can't think about it all.

    I have paid nothing apart from rent, food, petrol and essentials for over 12 months. I'm really scared. I have horrible letters coming in on a daily basis that I just can't open. There's no point, I can't afford them anyway. Baliffs have come round - I want to stop the children from playing outside in the garden because they leave the door unlocked and a baliff could get in if I'm not there to see who comes down the path. I can't tell the children why.

    What on earth do I do?

    I had severe depression last year, and am suffering to a lesser extent now - I'm re-taking my 2nd year of uni because of it - I have to take things very much one step at a time or I get overwhelmed and can't cope. I know that sounds horribly wussy, but this approach is helping me cope; I get very tired too and that doesn't help.

    I have two assignments, and four exams, plus 3ft of revision, to get through, before I can even think about dealing with any of this. I'll be free of uni work at the end of May, until the middle of September.

    I want to get all the money stuff sorted then, because I really can't deal with it over the next few weeks.

    What can I do. I don't even know where the majority of the un-opened post is. How do I start, How can I make this better. I know it can't carry on with me ignoring it all. :-(

    Sorry. Thanks.
  • RASRAS Forumite
    28.6K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts

    Please check

    Council tax - if you are the only adult your should not be paying. You need to get a letter from college and reclaim. for benefits.

    Your student welfare office, as hardship funds can be substantial, although you have left it late in the year. One student on here was granted £1800 and she had no children.

    Are you getting help with any child care costs - 85% until they are 13 or so. although check Child tax credit as well, as that may be more.

    Please join for your home and college addresses - like e-bay but the stuff is free - clothes, white goods, media stuff, toys, kitchen ware, furnishings, furniture, tickets for all sorts and even occasionally a car!

    Definitely book an appointment with the welfare officer in the Student Union and I think you will find all sorts of funds available.
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
  • Hi Topsy,

    can you let us know how you are doing?
    Cats don't have owners - they have staff!! :D:p
    DFW Long Hauler Supporter No 150

  • Topsy, please come back and talk.
    There's plenty of support on here
    ...Linda xx
    It's easy to give in to that negative voice that chants "cant do it" BUT we lift each other up.
    We dont count all the runners ahead of us & feel intimidated.
    Instead we look back proudly at our journey, our personal struggle & determination & remember that there are those that never even attempt to reach the starting line.
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