Well I called his bluff

lesley1960

affordmylife wrote: »

still a hell of a lot even for 4 kids. i dont believe any 4 kids cost that much to feed and clothe x

Its the luxuries like a roof over their heads , heat lighting etc,

stressed_eric_4

you could always, and this is usually done to cover the nrps back, get him to pay you by d/d or s/o and make it child maintenance for xxxx. Failing that if he pays you cash get a receipt book (with copy pages) and both sign and date the amount you've received. Once you've decided how much you are going to accepct if he does put in a review at a later date and it's still more than the amount on the d/d or signed receipt then you have proof he wasn't even paying you that amount in the first place and if you wanted to, you could ask him for hte arrears. i wish more pwc were kinder like you, a lot of them would think if thats what the csa say (£634) then thats what i want. if i was your nrp and you were offering me this deal to pay less i would be grateful and depending how much less (if you only wanted an extra £100 rather than the £300 extra csa have calculated) i would be willing to pay halves on school uniforms and trips etc. good luck with talking to him, maybe he'll realise that you are trying to help him too.

Soubrette

lesley1960 wrote: »

Its the luxuries like a roof over their heads , heat lighting etc,

I don't know about 4 kids (:eek:) as I only have two but I estimate that my ex should pay me £200 a month to pay an even half of what's paid towards my girls (he pays £130) and that does not include the benefits - however if he earned about £30,000 a year then he should be paying about £500 a month.

Personally I would take that money and put it towards their future such as university or a house deposit as my ex shows no signs of doing these things for himself.

When it was his choice to pay money towards the girls ie directly to them - I estimate he paid about £50 a month for the both of them - if that. If he were a different kind of man and spent a reasonable amount on his kids then I would be more than happy to have left it up to him.

On the other side of the coin, if I were a NRP I would pay exactly what the government recommends I pay and no more. If I wanted to pay more then I would spend it directly on my children myself or put it away for their future.

Sou

hamstercheeks_2

my OH pays a lot per month but his ex earns more than i do and i'mworking yet she's on benefits

and i've got 2 kids

and my OH's ex wants more:eek:

LizzieS_2

traveller wrote: »

One thing though what Is the situation now, can I accept lower and do I have to tell them this, as I'm worried he may make out he's given me this sum, then somewhere down the line he asks for a reassesment and I owe him money IYSWIM.

You can opt for direct pay (csa leave it to you to obtain payments). He can ask for a reassessment at any time. If he was to manipulate a lower assessment your private arrangement will not be changed for past payments - these can only change if the csa are collecting the payments on your behalf.

Pssst

traveller wrote: »

Hi, I have made a couple of posts regarding my ex and child support.Well reluctantly I went to the CSA last month after his refusal to up his £240.00 contribution for 4 children 16,12,10 and 11months( youngest came along after failed reconcilliation) He had refused to pay anyrhing for the youngest as he said he pays so much for the over 3 that I'll end up squandering any extra.
I was basically asking for a bit extra In the main, because whereas before I used to walk to work my travel costs are over a hundred pound per month-a lot when your budget Is stretched as It Is.

Anyway, he told me to go to the CSA and they would agree he pays 'far too much already'.Well, clearly, they don't agree.I was phoned today at work by my 'case officer' and lo and behold they said they calculate a slightly higher figure than his - £634.00 per month:eek: I was gobsmacked. All I wanted was an extra 20 quid.

She then was literaly sayng they should collect It as they can tell the ones that won't pay.I asked for a private agreement, as I know he's In debt and wanted him to realise I'm not the unreasonable money grabber he makes out.I don't enjoy the csa going through my affairs, nor do I enjoy the fact that my children mean so little to their father, I had to get government intervention for him to do anything.

I don't expect to actually see this amount , but I do hope that he now realises just how lucky he's been and stop bad mouthing me at every oppurtunity.BTW that amount does not include arrears so he clearly earns more than he led me to believe.

So he thinks it costs only £60 per month to keep each of his children i.e £15 per week..? He needs to think again.

kelloggs36

Unless the PWC reports very quickly that the full amount isn't being paid.

traveller

kelloggs36 wrote: »

Unless the PWC reports very quickly that the full amount isn't being paid.

Kellogs, does this mean, if i don't tell them i've accepted less, i leave myself open to him possibly making out he paid more IYSWIM? Thanks.

kelloggs36

He would have to be able to prove that he has paid and it will be his word against yours - in the absence of evidence he won't be believed that is why people always recommend that any payments made to the PWC are either via a standing order which is clearly marked as child maintenance or if cash, is signed for by the PWC and the names of the children and dates for whom the money was paid is included - I would suggest you also keep a copy incase he manipulates the receipt.

luverlyjuberly

marksoton wrote: »

For gods sake are they now a higher being than the rest of us :rolleyes:

Anyway, at least you have an idea of what you would get. See if he will negotiate a private payment and if he plays silly beggars it's straight back to them.

Use the CSA from the beginning, stop being a soft touch. And get the lot. Some people :rolleyes: