Is anyone else in this situation?

catenorfolk

Christy, you will need to think hard and fast about your chap, what happens if you and he have a child and for some reason you split up, he may be like this with you and make you fight for suppport. You sound like you are struggling to deal with this mean and deceitful side of him that you have found out about. Dishonesty is a bad thing and once you start not to trust him it becomes like a little worm burrowing into your relationship. Basically that small child of his needs to be looked after and it does sound like he is just trying not to help her. You sound like a kind and decent person. Just make sure you look after yourself.

catenorfolk

parkysaves wrote: »

sou, i too get cross at accusations or general feeling that pwc's are spending all the money on themselves. Maybe cos i am a pwc!!!!
I find myself correcting my ex when he rants about paying "me". I dont drink, smoke, i am a freecycle fan so most of my lovely (if i say so myself lol!!) house is furnished free including laminate floor, carpet, wardrobe, clothes incl some for the kids. I keep a house over my kids head, i have a yr ticket for legoland on clubcard points that we go to every few months, take walks and provide the kind of life i had as a child whilst teaching my children the value of not buying new, named clothes etc. Does my ex??? Mmm... You guess lol!!
In fact most of my money goes on leccy, which i guess is the kids tv, lights left on, playstation etc lol!!!!!

We can but do our best and if that's what we're doing for our children, they will make their own minds up when they're older and realise the value of love and time over anything.

well said xxxxx

jamespir

parkysaves wrote: »

Sou, I too get cross at accusations or general feeling that PWC's are spending all the money on themselves. Maybe cos I am a PWC!!!!
I find myself correcting my ex when he rants about paying "me". I dont drink, smoke, I am a freecycle fan so most of my lovely (if I say so myself Lol!!) house is furnished free including laminate floor, carpet, wardrobe, clothes incl some for the kids. I keep a house over my kids head, I have a yr ticket for Legoland on clubcard points that we go to every few months, take walks and provide the kind of life I had as a child whilst teaching my children the value of NOT buying new, named clothes etc. Does my ex??? mmm... you guess Lol!!
In fact most of my money goes on Leccy, which i guess is the kids TV, lights left on, playstation etc Lol!!!!!

We can but do our best and if that's what we're doing for our children, they will make their own minds up when they're older and realise the value of love and time over anything.

i deeply sympathise with your situation as i would any
but i dont have a problem with anyone caliming csa

thankfully i havent had the priveledge my only problem with the whole csa malarky is the fact that dad could be liveing in sqalor be getting a measly 45 quid a week perhaps not even that and hes bing forced to pay a large amount to his ex for csa payments and arrrears that the csa seem to be able to justify yet mum can calim csa whatever benifits or wages she gets plus tax credits and child benift for the kids and she the one complaining about lack of money its a joke there has to be a fair way of sorting this out so that they have proof your babys father and that you can pay an amount which is realtive to you income and if mom gets csa she cant gte any other of the fringe benifits

kelloggs36

If you believe this in your understanding of the CSA system really is flawed. If the NRP income is only £45 per week (don't know how as JSA is more than this) the assessment can only be a fixed £5 or £6 per week - payable because regardless of whatever has gone on, the NRP still has that child/children who need maintaining and it should not be all up to the PWC to provide. I am a PWC and I do not get any tax credits other than the flat rate of £10 per week which will reduce next year due to my household income yet my child's father paid nothing for 8 years - whilst working full time. He claimed to be poor, but in fact had lied (proven). Arrears are often built up because of an NRP's refusal to acknowledge that they must pay for their children and in these cases they can blame nobody but themselves. The CSA do take a long time to work out arrrears when there is a change in circumstances but again, unless the income has reduced, there should be some sort of putting away a bit extra to ensure that when the new assessment comes at least SOME of it can be paid off, thus reducing the arrears further. Of course there are muck ups and I sympathise with the genuine NRPs who have no idea that the arrears existed where they have kept the CSA informed of their whereabouts and it has taken so long under CS1 particularly, to calculate what is owed.

FYO a single parent won't be living in the lap of luxury even if they do get tax credits and child benefits you know!

jamespir

kelloggs36 wrote: »

If you believe this in your understanding of the CSA system really is flawed. If the NRP income is only £45 per week (don't know how as JSA is more than this) the assessment can only be a fixed £5 or £6 per week - payable because regardless of whatever has gone on, the NRP still has that child/children who need maintaining and it should not be all up to the PWC to provide. I am a PWC and I do not get any tax credits other than the flat rate of £10 per week which will reduce next year due to my household income yet my child's father paid nothing for 8 years - whilst working full time. He claimed to be poor, but in fact had lied (proven). Arrears are often built up because of an NRP's refusal to acknowledge that they must pay for their children and in these cases they can blame nobody but themselves. The CSA do take a long time to work out arrrears when there is a change in circumstances but again, unless the income has reduced, there should be some sort of putting away a bit extra to ensure that when the new assessment comes at least SOME of it can be paid off, thus reducing the arrears further. Of course there are muck ups and I sympathise with the genuine NRPs who have no idea that the arrears existed where they have kept the CSA informed of their whereabouts and it has taken so long under CS1 particularly, to calculate what is owed.

FYO a single parent won't be living in the lap of luxury even if they do get tax credits and child benefits you know!

fyi i happen to know somoen in the situation n he only gets jsa theyd been together for 7 years they were married and split she claimed arreas for three years theyd been together they have been taken 65 pounds of his 90 payment gevery two weeks for jsa ok he has three kids but that should mean nothing she is working be it part time and rakes in a income of 600 plus pounds a month she also gets 3 lots of child tax credits amouting to just under 200 pounds a week plus the child benifit which is 100 pounds a week roughly so shes getting just under 2000 pounds a monthe and she wants more money its an absolute !!!! take so dont tell me i dont know what im talking about

catenorfolk

jamespir wrote: »

fyi i happen to know somoen in the situation n he only gets jsa theyd been together for 7 years they were married and split she claimed arreas for three years theyd been together they have been taken 65 pounds of his 90 payment gevery two weeks for jsa ok he has three kids but that should mean nothing she is working be it part time and rakes in a income of 600 plus pounds a month she also gets 3 lots of child tax credits amouting to just under 200 pounds a week plus the child benifit which is 100 pounds a week roughly so shes getting just under 2000 pounds a monthe and she wants more money its an absolute !!!! take so dont tell me i dont know what im talking about

Just because 'she' is working and trying to get a life for 'their' kids she still has rent/mort to pay, clothes to buy and all the things that kids need he still needs to pay towards the upkeep. Anyway, how come if this woman is able to work with three kids, how come your mate isnt able to work when he doesnt have the kids living with him, he hasnt got any child care issues. I have two kids and I do ANY kind of job that comes my way in order that my kids can have a halfway decent life.:j

kelloggs36

jamespir wrote: »

fyi i happen to know somoen in the situation n he only gets jsa theyd been together for 7 years they were married and split she claimed arreas for three years theyd been together they have been taken 65 pounds of his 90 payment gevery two weeks for jsa ok he has three kids but that should mean nothing she is working be it part time and rakes in a income of 600 plus pounds a month she also gets 3 lots of child tax credits amouting to just under 200 pounds a week plus the child benifit which is 100 pounds a week roughly so shes getting just under 2000 pounds a monthe and she wants more money its an absolute !!!! take so dont tell me i dont know what im talking about

Are here costs not payable then? The PWC pays for the housing costs where the chidren live, the food, the clothes, the gas, electricity, luxuries for them, school uniforms, trips, birthdays etc out of her money - believe me her income won't go far - hence the father needs to contribute towards the costs. As I said before, if he is on JSA his contribution towards as many children as he has will be max £6 per week - if you can bring children up on that amount then feel free to try! The NRP is still a parent and therefore still liable for their finanical upbringing ieven f (not suggesting he doesnt in this case) he doesn't see the children - they aren't cheap!

kelloggs36

The CSA cannot take £60 out of £95 payment - it is impossible for them to do so.

LizzieS_2

jamespir wrote: »

she is working be it part time and rakes in a income of 600 plus pounds a month she also gets 3 lots of child tax credits amouting to just under 200 pounds a week plus the child benifit which is 100 pounds a week roughly so shes getting just under 2000 pounds a monthe and she wants more money its an absolute !!!! take so dont tell me i dont know what im talking about

I take you've guessed these figures as they are totally wrong.

Since when has child benefit been £100pw for 3 children?

catenorfolk

kelloggs36 wrote: »

Are here costs not payable then? The PWC pays for the housing costs where the chidren live, the food, the clothes, the gas, electricity, luxuries for them, school uniforms, trips, birthdays etc out of her money - believe me her income won't go far - hence the father needs to contribute towards the costs. As I said before, if he is on JSA his contribution towards as many children as he has will be max £6 per week - if you can bring children up on that amount then feel free to try! The NRP is still a parent and therefore still liable for their finanical upbringing ieven f (not suggesting he doesnt in this case) he doesn't see the children - they aren't cheap!

Sometimes the stories like the above that come up on these forums do have me rolling around in hysterical laughter. The real problems and stories seem to get lost amongst the above rubbish, It is so sad that many people just want what is right and all the helpful advice given is spoilt by some people not having a clue about what they are talking about!!! lol