Wishing I could be an OS SAHM. Could I?

couteaux

Hey all:)

Feeling a bit blue today I have been burying my head in the sand for too long about arranging childcare for my son, I just don't want to leave him.But I am stuck, I am the main breadwinner, so have to return to work to pay my share of the bills.

I would love to be a SAHM like my mum was (until I went to school) Anyhoo, wondering if anyone here could help with something.. I have done a search but couldn't think how to word it on google. I wanted to work out how much my salary would go down if I dropped one working day? Does anyone know the best way to do it? My mum suggested she look after him one day (she lives 1hr30mins away) so she would drop one working day, I was thinking I could do the same and so he would just have the 3 days with a childminder. I just need to see if it can be done financially.

I am not hugely mathmatical so any help would be greatly appreciated.


Thanks so much!

MrsB_2

I suppose one way to give yourself a VERY rough estimate would be to divide your monthly salary by 28 (working on an average of 4 working weeks per salary), multiply that figure by 4 (to give you the four days off a month you would have by dropping one day per week) and then deduct that from your monthly salary. It will only be a rough idea cos it wont take into account tax changes or anything like that, but it might give you some idea until someone more knowledegable pops in!

Dont feel blue - if it's what you really want to do you'll find a way. It may mean a drop in some aspects of your standards of living, but you may well feel it's worth the sacrifice - I know I do.

Pooky

It all depends on your salary and the cost of the childcare. For me staying at home is only possible because I work as a childminder from home. Saying that, the cost of childcare for 2 kids before and afterschool and holiday clubs would mean I'd need to earn £15k a year to break even and cover the loss of Tax credits.

Bear in mind also that your mother might not mind looking after your child now but what would you do when she's on holiday/ill? Some childminders can be very flexible, like me, I cover shift work so don't work to capacity so that I can cover this, other childminders have very rigid times to work to as all their places may be full, they might not be able to cover for your Mum.

Might be best to speak to your employers first and see if cutting down a day is feesable and looking at your salary from there.

Please pm me if you want more info on childminders and where to find them.

moggins

I agree with Mrs B. If this is what you really want you will find a way to do it. I'm a SAHM to 2 children and I haven't worked in 5 years even though DH took a huge paycut last year, we still manage very well, have a brilliant diet, run a car and keep a roof over out heads. We don't have a luxury lifestyle or have holidays but on days like this when I have both elderly parents and one child sick then I am so glad that I don't have to worry about what I am going to do.

MSE has been a life saver and shown where savings can be made in all things, also a book called The Smart Womans Guide to Staying at Home was a huge help to me.

Sarahsaver

I work approx 9 to 2.30, I don't have to put my children in childcare which was making us all miserable anyway, and I don't have to pay out for childcare either. I am self employed so I have no boss telling me i have to be at work when my child is ill.
I found that by spending less you in turn of course need less money to live on. When ex OH was around we had one of the most expensive cable tv packages, junk food and he smoked like it was going out of fashion, probably spent about £50 to £70 a week on groceries.
Now I spend £20 to £30 on groceries, and have separate accounts for child benefit, personal, business, my savings, kids' savings.
Would your employer allow you to be more flexible? Approach them about it and good luck.
Can your OH work more or be a stop at home dad?
https://www.flexibility.co.uk
https://www.workingfamilies.org.uk

thriftlady_2

When I had my first child in 1995 I was teaching and obviously earning a pretty good salary.OH and I both assumed there'd be no way we could manage without my salary(he was the bigger earner)as,although we had no money difficulties we always seemed to spend all we earned.We decided to try it for a year to see how we managed.Well,11 years and 3 kids later I'm still at home and loving it.

I don't have any practical mathematical advice for you couteaux,but I would say it is probably more manageable than you think.Don't forget to factor in all those incidental work costs that seem trivial but all add up;
work clothing costs
work travel costs
lunches and coffees
collections for colleagues who are leaving/getting married etc
cakes for colleagues when it's your b'day
convenience food because you don't have time to cook from scratch
and the big one - child care

I'm not saying you will have all these costs but going to work costs money!

Can I recommend a book,it's American,but still relevant.Available from Amazon

You Can Afford to Stay Home with Your Kids: A Step-by-step Guide for Converting Your Family from Two Incomes to One
Malia McCawley Wyckoff, Mary Snyder

HTH

tOpCaT_3

If you work 5 days a week and are thinking of dropping a day, multiply your salary by 0.8 to get an idea of how much money you will lose out on. Of course, you will pay slightly less tax on this, since there is a portion of your salary that is tax free. Plug both salaries (current and reduced by 20%) into here to see what you should clear each month: http://www.i-resign.com/uk/financialcentre/tax_calculator.asp

EDIT: EG Say you get paid £10k a eyar. That's £708.90 a month after tax, etc.
If this was reduced to £8k a year you'd clear £597.24 a month which is less than 20% less, if you see what I mean!

Hope this helps.

couteaux

Thanks so much for these replies! I had written a big reply, but my gorgeous little boy just pressed lots of buttons and deleted it haha So, I will have a look through the info you've all given and post back!

THanks again, this is a huge help

moggins

Don't forget that if your income drops you will be entitled to more CTC and if your DH earns less than £14K a year (I think that might go up this year though) you will also be entitled to WTC.

Use the entitled to website and see what you would actually recieve just on your DH's income.

It is possible, my DH earns about £17K gross and after he's also paid a huge chunk into his pension it never seems like there is a lot left but by adapting your lifestyle it can be done and if you're at home you also have a lot more time for chasing those bargains, hunting down the best deals on utilities etc, and cooking from scratch. Little ones don't need designer, they just need a lot of love and security.

squeaky

I see that you have lots of good ideas here, and it will certainly be worth having a look at the Families Board too. There should be plenty of help and advice on this subject of being a stay at home mum already posted.

The Families Board

Gingham_Ribbon

If it's what you really want, maybe you could drop more hours than that? The rewards are measureless if you can do it. If you have 2 wages coming in, have you worked out how much more you'd need over and above your partner's wage to make ends meet? It may be less than you think.

Maybe you could post your outgoings and people might be able to come up with some ways to cut your costs. Less outgoings = less time at work. :j

We lost £22K per year when we had our son. We don't miss it at all but had to make a lot of adjustments. And I never miss work.