The Bankrupt Inn (Part Three)

jenni75

Somerset is pretty too but I really love Shropshire where I grew up, although that is pricey too from what I can gather.

Merlinexcalibur

No, it was pulled because ... Oh, I don't know. I thought it was a bit imposing I suppose.

And because if I did the DRO, I would not have a purpose. Would be arbitrary a little I suppose. Maybe also because it means it's something I've done for myself, put myself first and not anyone else. I will have to look more into it because it's the £50 limit I am worried over per month. Because I honestly can't survive if I lost you know what and struggle to pay bills. This is what's stopped me doing this already. But to hold out as long as possible, then it may not be necessary. What I don't want to do is, as things are bad already, is do it, then find out it has made things worse. Far far worse. Hope that made sense. This is the drawback, really. And as everyone knows, things go up daily. Fuel, energy, so that's my main worry not having enough to pay those things, then do the whole dance again, the stress again of worrying over that side of it because I couldn't afford those. Lots of things in so many directions I worry over being affected. It is very tempting to go do it, when I have the fee, but how would I afford my utility bills if I couldn't get extra income above £50 a month?

So_Sad_Angel

[QUOTE=jenni75;21772559__We_have_loads_of_hotair_balloons_going_over_during_the_summer_months,_would_love_to_go_in_one_but_they_are_so_expensive_to_have_a_trip_in.[/QUOTE]

Ooooh I have been in hot air balloon.....scared me to death!!!! they had to bring it down due to my panic attack:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:. Never again...but the silence `up there` is deafening if you know what I mean !!!!

I know about that eirie sound when there is an accident near a motorway....its sooo quiet & you notice it immediately.

Angiexx

So_Sad_Angel

Merlinexcalibur wrote: »

No, it was pulled because ... Oh, I don't know. I thought it was a bit imposing I suppose.

Please Merlin Honey...have faith that what you say is OK....really it is!!! we all wonder if we are saying the `right` thing but ultimately it`s your opinion & thats what makes us all....well ...`individuals` .

Angiexx

jenni75

I agree so sad, if we all thought the same there would be no point to this board as it would be so predicable. But we are all different and if talking/typing helps its all good and this is what the forum is here for.

Merlinexcalibur

Well, that's what I am struggling with right now - that. Whether to be honest with a thread on here or post and say what I see. Just it is not really in my nature to upset deliberately but sometimes somethings have to be said. And I am struggling now with my supportive, comforting side and the side which is telling me to be purely 'honest'. Then I worry does it make me a bad person if I do. I know that sounds pretty silly but it's my nature to do good not bad. Not deliberately. I told someone this week 'I am losing myself' in all this. And I know I am. But because I know I am it is making me want to just stop being helpful. Lots of conflict going on as you can see. And I let someone, someone strange I was seeing for the first time, see 'me' this week, when all my defences were down ... I let them see the pain, the grief and the torment that was probably in my face/eyes. So, I was stripped to my core, I let someone see that not the brave side of myself who tries to encourage people. But I let them see that about me, so they could understand me more. And it hurt very very badly because I haven't allowed anyone in like that for quite a time. I let them see the heart of me.

Merlinexcalibur

Hot air balloons used to come in the summer, too, where I lived before. Come down in the fields behind my parents house. Sometimes you'd get quite a lot. One crashed once, well not badly but came down on it's side in the field. Then you'd see them really high up in the atmosphere you'd barely see them in the haze.

jenni75

You are both putting me off now with tales of panic attacks and crashes!!! oh well saves me saving up lol. They do look so graceful going across the evening sky though.

So_Sad_Angel

Merlinexcalibur wrote: »

No, it was pulled because ... Oh, I don't know. I thought it was a bit imposing I suppose.

And because if I did the DRO, I would not have a purpose. Would be arbitrary a little I suppose. Maybe also because it means it's something I've done for myself, put myself first and not anyone else.
QUOTE]

Merlin Hun....sadly in this life you have to look after yourself FIRST...if there is any energy left then that is what you share with others....FACT

You have lots of energy & plenty to offer others & I have to say you bring a dimension to this forum I have not seen before ....I am talking about HOPE & BELIEF...& it is very welcome.

Have faith ( whatever faith it is that you believe) & take control of your future. Life is OURS to live & OURS to decide how it is to be lived.

Gosh...I`m in real `assertive` mode tonight. Hope you know what I mean.

Angiexxxx

So_Sad_Angel

jenni75 wrote: »

You are both putting me off now with tales of panic attacks and crashes!!! oh well saves me saving up lol. They do look so graceful going across the evening sky though.

My advice...if you are not a `height` person...then don`t go there!!!!:D