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Lodger taking the Michael...
ib0211
Posts: 23 Forumite
Aaarrrggghhh...
Right, apologies for the upcoming rant. I know I only have to get through the next fortnight... But I'm hacked off.
Currently me and the better half are renting, we're in the process of buying and are just going through the legal motions before exchange at the moment.
We've been renting our house for almost two years, and have had a lodger (with the landlord's permission and blessing) for the past 18 months.
The lodger's a mate, and when he moved in he came straight from home. His father used to wake up over an hour earlier than he had to every morning to bring him a cuppa and run him a bath. He also completely washed and cleaned his car every Sunday for him. We weren't aware of the level of moddycoddling he'd had when he moved in. We did know it was his first time away from home, however, and so were patient with him to begin with.
Thing is, in 18 months he's maybe run the vaccum round the living room twice and mopped the kitchen once. He doesn't do anything - he reckons he does his own washing up when he blatantly doesn't unless he thinks he's being watched, and then just uses the cold tap and his hand on the plate, knife and fork and ignores anything he's used to cook with.
He rarely buys anything like toilet roll, toothpaste, cleaning stuff, butter, condiments, etc, etc - you get the idea. Occasionally he'll offer to chip in, but not all of the time. In 18 months for example he's bought two tubes of toothpaste, been happy to use ours, but when he did buy his second tube last week, he's taken to hiding it! I won't go into all the examples, but you get the idea of pettiness.
When he hears us tidying/cleaning, he'll hide in his room until everything's done, then when he can hear we've finished, he'll come down and ask if there's anything he can do.
Every time he has a shower, he absolutely soaks the bathroom floor in huge pools of water. We brought this up with him once and he threw a huge sulk.
He's stopped after a big row - but he kept dumping our washing on the floor if it was in the washing machine or tumble drier (even though there's baskets he could use or he could ask us to move them). Washing powder's something else he's bought one or two boxes of in 18 months.
When he first moved in, we'd bring up things tactfully and jokingly, which he took offense too. Told us we were being condescending and asked us to be blunt with him. So we started being a bit more blunt (but still not having a go), and he'd just sulk like a 13 year old, look away and then storm about for a bit.
Anyway, taking all this in mind, when we returned from holiday in September one of the glass panes on the front door was cracked. As soon as we saw him the following day we brought this up with him and he basically turned round and asked us how he knew we weren't lying and it could have been done since we got back. He hadn't noticed it.
But then again, he doesn't notice the post on the doormat when he comes in either and steps over it. Simple fact is it was cracked whilst we were on holiday. He basically refused to pay for it initially, and then told us he'd pay for a third of it.
He parks on the driveway so the other half has a tight fit getting in. The other half reqularly puts their driver's side through the bush on the opposite side to the lodger's car so the lodger's car doesn't get scratched. A few weeks after the door incident, the lodger comes home and declares that the other half has put a huge dent in his car.
Now, this could have been done anywhere - he'd been at work all day, didn't phone or anything. But as it quite possibly could have been the other half and the way the lodger was blaming them, they accepted it could have been them. It's a tiny dent of about 1.5 inches and it was agreed that the lodger would get a quote, and then we'd pay for it (much to my hacked-offness about the whole door incident that happened whilst we were on holiday).
The lodger has done nothing about his dent since then. A few weeks ago, as we're now buying and have agreed maybe we're not compatible living together, the lodger has found somewhere else to live and said they might be moving out in a month (but would let us know for definite). We asked that they give us a month so as not to drop us in it - but if they did move out in a month then that would be two week's rent due for April.
They didn't say anything more until last night. They then said to the other half (I think knowing I'd be pretty peeved) that they were moving out in two weeks and wouldn't be giving us anymore rent - the £150 would wipe off the debt for the dent in the car!!! When questioned about the front door, they said they'd pay that when it was fixed!!!
I can't believe the hypocrisy of this so called friend... Everything we've done for him, and it boils down to this.
I'm in a mind to ask him to leave right away. There's no way he's going to pay for the door anyway. There's no way he's going to pay for the professional cleaning at the end of the tenancy either. I've just had enough and think we're being walked on at every stage... Maybe I should just keep it buttoned for another two weeks though, afterall the end is in sight....
Sorry for the rant, had to let off steam!
Right, apologies for the upcoming rant. I know I only have to get through the next fortnight... But I'm hacked off.
Currently me and the better half are renting, we're in the process of buying and are just going through the legal motions before exchange at the moment.
We've been renting our house for almost two years, and have had a lodger (with the landlord's permission and blessing) for the past 18 months.
The lodger's a mate, and when he moved in he came straight from home. His father used to wake up over an hour earlier than he had to every morning to bring him a cuppa and run him a bath. He also completely washed and cleaned his car every Sunday for him. We weren't aware of the level of moddycoddling he'd had when he moved in. We did know it was his first time away from home, however, and so were patient with him to begin with.
Thing is, in 18 months he's maybe run the vaccum round the living room twice and mopped the kitchen once. He doesn't do anything - he reckons he does his own washing up when he blatantly doesn't unless he thinks he's being watched, and then just uses the cold tap and his hand on the plate, knife and fork and ignores anything he's used to cook with.
He rarely buys anything like toilet roll, toothpaste, cleaning stuff, butter, condiments, etc, etc - you get the idea. Occasionally he'll offer to chip in, but not all of the time. In 18 months for example he's bought two tubes of toothpaste, been happy to use ours, but when he did buy his second tube last week, he's taken to hiding it! I won't go into all the examples, but you get the idea of pettiness.
When he hears us tidying/cleaning, he'll hide in his room until everything's done, then when he can hear we've finished, he'll come down and ask if there's anything he can do.
Every time he has a shower, he absolutely soaks the bathroom floor in huge pools of water. We brought this up with him once and he threw a huge sulk.
He's stopped after a big row - but he kept dumping our washing on the floor if it was in the washing machine or tumble drier (even though there's baskets he could use or he could ask us to move them). Washing powder's something else he's bought one or two boxes of in 18 months.
When he first moved in, we'd bring up things tactfully and jokingly, which he took offense too. Told us we were being condescending and asked us to be blunt with him. So we started being a bit more blunt (but still not having a go), and he'd just sulk like a 13 year old, look away and then storm about for a bit.
Anyway, taking all this in mind, when we returned from holiday in September one of the glass panes on the front door was cracked. As soon as we saw him the following day we brought this up with him and he basically turned round and asked us how he knew we weren't lying and it could have been done since we got back. He hadn't noticed it.
But then again, he doesn't notice the post on the doormat when he comes in either and steps over it. Simple fact is it was cracked whilst we were on holiday. He basically refused to pay for it initially, and then told us he'd pay for a third of it.
He parks on the driveway so the other half has a tight fit getting in. The other half reqularly puts their driver's side through the bush on the opposite side to the lodger's car so the lodger's car doesn't get scratched. A few weeks after the door incident, the lodger comes home and declares that the other half has put a huge dent in his car.
Now, this could have been done anywhere - he'd been at work all day, didn't phone or anything. But as it quite possibly could have been the other half and the way the lodger was blaming them, they accepted it could have been them. It's a tiny dent of about 1.5 inches and it was agreed that the lodger would get a quote, and then we'd pay for it (much to my hacked-offness about the whole door incident that happened whilst we were on holiday).
The lodger has done nothing about his dent since then. A few weeks ago, as we're now buying and have agreed maybe we're not compatible living together, the lodger has found somewhere else to live and said they might be moving out in a month (but would let us know for definite). We asked that they give us a month so as not to drop us in it - but if they did move out in a month then that would be two week's rent due for April.
They didn't say anything more until last night. They then said to the other half (I think knowing I'd be pretty peeved) that they were moving out in two weeks and wouldn't be giving us anymore rent - the £150 would wipe off the debt for the dent in the car!!! When questioned about the front door, they said they'd pay that when it was fixed!!!
I can't believe the hypocrisy of this so called friend... Everything we've done for him, and it boils down to this.
I'm in a mind to ask him to leave right away. There's no way he's going to pay for the door anyway. There's no way he's going to pay for the professional cleaning at the end of the tenancy either. I've just had enough and think we're being walked on at every stage... Maybe I should just keep it buttoned for another two weeks though, afterall the end is in sight....
Sorry for the rant, had to let off steam!
Wk1-3: Find house, offer accepted, apply mortgage
Wk4: Mortgage offered
Wk5-9: Solicitors dragging things
Wk12: Complete(when we get there!)
Wk4: Mortgage offered
Wk5-9: Solicitors dragging things
Wk12: Complete(when we get there!)
0
Comments
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vent away
He sounds awful. Only question is why have you put up with him for so long?
As your lodger, he has very few rights. I'd tell him to pay the last two week's rent, or leave now (no - actually, I would have yelled at him about 17.5 months ago)
I very much doubt he was planning to clean or pay for the door anyway.0 -
I agree with him leaving immediately.:heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.0
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Good grief, I can't believe you've put up with this for 18 months! I agree with sooz, tell him to leave now or pay the last two weeks' rent. At least you're getting rid of him now!0
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I am confused.... How is my husband living with you? :rotfl:
No my husband isn't QUITE that bad, BUT.... as a coddled boy who spent most of his life in boarding school and had maids to tidy up after him... I see some similarities. When he was a student, he shared with 4 other guys and the bathroom got cleaned once each 6 months :eek: (you felt dirtier stepping out of the shower, than before you got in!).
Doesn't help now, but if you ever get another lodger, set VERY clear ground rules from BEFORE they move in: agree who pays for what and when (maybe keep food seperate, but have a kitty for toilet roll and cleaning products) and who cleans what and when. Also interview your lodgers well first.
I think that you need to cut your losses with this one...
QT0 -
Yes, I agree with the others-get rid of him now-how have you put up with him for so long!!!! you must be a saintGE 36 *MFD may 2043
MFIT-T5 #60 £136,850.30
Mortgage overpayments 2019 - £285.96
2020 Jan-£40-feb-£18.28.march-£25
Christmas savings card 2020 £20/£100
Emergency savings £100/£500
12/3/17 175lb - 06/11/2019 152lb0 -
We've put up with him for a long time because he's a mate... When he first moved in as well, he was going through a break-up that was hitting him hard, and he had just moved from home so had a bit of a culture shock there.
In a way it is our fault for allowing him to get away with so much. When he sulks and causes an atmoshphere though, it's horrible. But again our fault for letting it get so far. up with him. The rent money does come in handy though - especially as it's gone up twice during our tenancy.
Since January, we knew we wouldn't be renewing the tenancy anyway, so there's been light at the end of the tunnel, and we've just been heading towards that.Wk1-3: Find house, offer accepted, apply mortgage
Wk4: Mortgage offered
Wk5-9: Solicitors dragging things
Wk12: Complete(when we get there!)0 -
Doesn't sound like he's been treating you like a mate. More like a pair of mugs to be honest.0
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In any way it isn't your fault, maybe his parents should have given him a reality check instead of molly-coddling him-please don't make excuses for him, yes the money will be handy, stress and angst are not. you'll have to weigh up the pros and cons-if the cash outweighs the aggravation or vice versaGE 36 *MFD may 2043
MFIT-T5 #60 £136,850.30
Mortgage overpayments 2019 - £285.96
2020 Jan-£40-feb-£18.28.march-£25
Christmas savings card 2020 £20/£100
Emergency savings £100/£500
12/3/17 175lb - 06/11/2019 152lb0 -
We're going to be saving money when we move.... I've learned a valuable lesson about lodgers though and will think very carefully about the type of person we lodge with in future.
When you live with other people, it's about having a bit of mutual respect for each other and the environment you live in.Wk1-3: Find house, offer accepted, apply mortgage
Wk4: Mortgage offered
Wk5-9: Solicitors dragging things
Wk12: Complete(when we get there!)0
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