Dont know where to turn!

Burlesque_Babe

With the dog fee - £180 a year for vaccinations and haircut seems very high. I have a springer and he costs £30 a year for vaccinations and I trim his ears /coat with some clippers.

Family hair cuts - Over £200 a year....again, maybe some scissors and clippers for the children? I cut my ex's hair for the 14 years we were together and after the initial fear of giving him some awful hair cut, it gets easy and saves a fortune!

Tesco stamps - maybe cut these back/cut them out until you are in a better position?

I don't really know much about the set up with help in the Army, but can SSAFA help at all? Or is there any counselling or help with the Families Office?

Take care.

GreenFingers_2

atmywitsend wrote:

Hello there,...... To cut a long story short, hubby in Army, I dont work and hate the place we have moved to. Through boredom I started gambling and have now pushed credit limits to the hilt and owe approx 25k on credit cards along with two loans. I am thoroughly ashamed of myself and sit here crying whilst typing this through shame and guilt over what I have done to my family (3 children). Hubby has 5 yrs left in Army having completed 22 yrs and as of then we will have no home. I am looking for jobs but this will effect my carers allowance for my diabetic daughter and also WFTC.

Wot do I do now???? Outgoing still more that incomings and cant see a way out. Hubby doesnt know the real extent of the damage but I have told him how much we/I owe. He is standing by me. He so much wants us to be looking for our own home with a mortgage!!! before he leaves Army (as without his job will make it almost impossible). Therefore is my dilemma, dont know what I can do that wont black mark our credit rating for mortgage purposes.
Someone please help.

Hello AtMyWitsEnd,
First thing... a very warm welcome to this site. Add it to your Favourites as you will find a huge amount of very good information here in the various sections - the members are very knowledgeable and helpful.

Secondly, and I'm talking as an ex-soldier myself.... you may be aware of the Royal British Legion, please get in touch with your local organisation and ask for your areas Welfare Officer. He/She will pop around and visit you and you can chat openly to your hearts content. They will assess your case and once you are in the 'system' your are there for life...never to be alone again... how wondereful is that.... . They are extremly helpful in many ways and I promise you this will be one of the best things you can do in the short term.

Regards, Michael.

skintchick

Hi hon - how are you feeling today? Hope you feel a bit better. :A

Here are my thoughts on your SOA, probably repeating what others have said!

I've rearranged it a bit so I can get my head round it...

---

TOTAL INCOME 2375.15 (This is on a 31 day month)

OUTGOINGS

Home Insurance 65.04
Car Insurance 35.83 (over 9 mnths, we have 3 months grace at present)
Dog insurance 10.99
THE HOME INSURANCE REALLY DOES SEEM VERY HIGH. I PAY £120 A YEAR!! ALSO, IN FUTURE THINK ABOUT PAYING ANNUALLY AS I BELIEVE THEY CHARGE YOU INTEREST FOR DOING IT MONTHLY.
I PERSONALLY HAVE NEVER INSURED A PET AND HAVE NEVER NEEDED TO


Gas/Elec 60.00
TV Licence 10.54
NTL Phone/Cable/ISP 62.51 approx
Food 333.50
FUEL BILL SEEMS HIGH? I PAY £35 A MONTH WITH POWERGEN. MAYBE YOU COULD GET THIS A BIT CHEAPER?
THE NTL BILL ALSO SEEMS HIGH - WHEN TEH CHIPS ARE DOWN THEN INTERNET IS A LUXURY AS IS CABLE TV AND PERHAPS THESE WILL HAVE TO GO?
CAN'T COMMENT ON FOOD, AS I AM SINGLE, BUT I WILL SAY I SPEND £60 A MONTH ON FOOD FOR ME, AND IF YOU GO OVER TO THE OLD STYLE BOARD YOU WILL GET TIPS ON COOKING REALLY CHEAPLY.

Hubby Mobile 30.00 approx
My Mobile 30.00 approx
petrol 140.00
MOT 22.00
MOBILES ARE HIGH AS PEOPLE HAVE SAID. TRY NOT TO USE THEM IF POSSIBLE!
THE MOT SAVING IS A GOOD IDEA AS THEN YOU HAVE IT READY, BUT BE AWARE ON A TIGHT MONTH THIS IS SOMETHING YOU CAN CUT IF YOU NEED TO.

Tesco Saving Stamps 20.00
Car Tax Stamps 15.00
SAME ON THESE SAVINGS - GOOD IDEA BUT NOT SET IN STONE AND CAN BE CUT.

cigarettes 133.00 Have cut right down and still trying
Weekend Trip for kids 60.00
STOP SMOKING! I KNOW IT'S HARD, BUT LOOK AT HOW MUCH YOU SPEND ON IT!
AND THE TRIP MONEY REALLY IS TOO MUCH. I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE THIS £60 TO SPEND.

Xmas/Birthdays 132.50 THIS LOOKS VERY HIGH TO ME - DO YOU REALLY NEED TO ALLOW THIS MUCH?
Float (Emergency) 30.00 SDON'T THINK YOU CAN AFFORD TO SAVE THIS MONEY
Dog fees 15.00 THIS SEEMS A LOT. MY CAT ONLY COSTS ME £45 A YEAR FOR VACCINATIONS. HE MAY HAVE TO HAVE LESS HAIRCUTS!!
Council Gym Hubby 20.00 IS THERE NOT AN ARMY GYM HE CAN USE?????
Haircuts 19.00 OUCH!!! TOO MUCH! YOU NEED TO CUT THIS DOWN.
Dentist 4.00
Daughter Netball club 8.00
School Trips 7.00
Lunch Moneys 11.50 YOU NEED TO CUT THIS - PERHAPS YOU COULD SEND THEM WITH A FLASK OF HOT SOUP INSTEAD?
Husband Mess Bills 15.00 DOES HE HAVE TO PAY THIS?
Kids Pocket Money 35.00

I think you could actually slash a lot off this, but it will take hard work and you need your family's support to do it.

Also, you really do need to get help for the gambling.

Hope that helps a bit.

tangerine_2

Haircut prices can be cut!!! Seriously is there a college for hair and beauty? Or a trainee within the salon? I recently had two colours and a cut for £12 at our local college. YOu have done the hardest part of your situation which is facing up to it so the only way is forward now. :grouphug:

atmywitsend_4

Ok, the sun is shining and its now another day. Thanks for all yr advice and here is what I have done so far......

Firstly I completed a snowball chart. OMG seeing how much I actually owe nearly floored me, but on the other hand if I keep on with the BT etc I can be debt free if 4 years whoooohoooooo. Not nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be.

1... Have changed elec/gas suppliers saving me £20 per month

2. Cigarettes (my emotional crutch at the moment). Have started rolling my own!!!! Huge saving and smoking less because it takes me forever to make one lol!. Its only a start and I will be trying to cut out altogether eventually.

3. Days Out- reduced to £40

4. Petrol - gonna keep this at £140 for the time being, as this money also covers services and MOTs, which are actually due next month. We have an old Grand Cherokee Jeep 4 ltr. I know it guzzles petrol but hubby now cycling to work

5.. Xmas/Birthdays - have cut to £100. not a drastic cut, but i do have 2 teenages and a 7 yr old, also a huuuuuuuuge family with birthdays everymonth.

6. Float - Keeping at £30, washing machine is gonna pack in on me any day now!!!!

7. Dog Fees - He is a bichon Frise and needs cutting every 6-8 weeks whilst he is a puppy. I live in the west end of Glasgow (army houseing) and everything here is marked up because of our postcode!!!!! £30 per haircut!!!! Will try to hand on a little longer between cuts

8. Haircuts - gonna look into college for myself and the girls

9. Mess Bill - has to be paid, Army rules!!

10. School Lunch - only £1.15 per day, and only done approx twice a week for one child. He gets a 2 course meal, fruit juice and as much fruit and salad as he wishes, plus free school breakfast club. Dont think this is a bad expense because if he has a school lunch then he just has sandwhiches for dinner.

So thats it soooo far, dont think I am doing too bad, oh and just managed to get 2% knocked off my interest rates for one of my loans.

Thanks again for all your support so far, you all certainly make me feel that I can cope. As for the gambling, and Im not trying to cop out here, only about 12k of this debt is mine through gambling and was amounted over 1 month over xmas!!!!!! It has all stopped now, but if in the future I feel myself slipping then I will seek help.

Thanks again everyone, and any more advise will be received greatfully

Angie xxxxxxxxx

moongarden

hi,
you have had some great advice already. i would just add that if the REAL root of the problem is that you were bored then why don't you sign up for a course of study - a friend who has a disabled son is doing an aromatherapy course so she can work from home.

if, however, you enjoyed gambling before you moved there (even if all was under control before) i would suggest start by tackling that.

it would be no good sorting payment arrangements out and getting the debt down if all you are doing is making space in your budget for you to run it up again.

best wishes

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Hi Angie, good to see you posting. If you need to save a bit more on your outgoings - and you know you do.....

7. Dog Fees - He is a bichon Frise and needs cutting every 6-8 weeks whilst he is a puppy. I live in the west end of Glasgow (army houseing) and everything here is marked up because of our postcode!!!!! £30 per haircut!!!! Will try to hand on a little longer between cuts

Cut it yourself - he'll get used to it, he's young. He won't look perfect, but your dog hair cutting skills will improve with practice. He's a dog, he doesn't care what he looks like. You can buy a human hair cutting comb thingy with a blade from Boots for less that a fiver, and you will only have to buy cheap replacement blades once in a while. My guess is that you're already cutting his hair between haircuts around his eyes and undercarriage! Do the whole lot.
Good luck and best wishes

atmywitsend_4

Lol, am just imagining my poor dog the first time after I cut his hair, he will probably look more like a poodle, but what the hell, needs must, I will give it a try.

And can I please make one thing clear, I started gambling only when moving to this place we are posted at the minute. I have never even been to Land Bingo, it was all done over the internet, far too easy when you arent handling real cash and just using numbers copied from a credit card!!!!!

Anyway, sorting my problems and being active on this site is keeping me more than busy at the moment. I can honestly say that I am not in denial, and I will not be making the same mistakes again. I am seeing these debts as just setback in our lives, I have had less money although not the debts when I was a single parent. Now that is hard!!!!

So, keep them suggestions and ideas coming, I really feel that people care and dont feel alone anymore.

Thanks everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Burlesque_Babe

You aren't alone - well done on getting the 2% off the loan !!