Dont know where to turn!

atmywitsend_4

Thanks for your suggestions karen,

Home Insurance - we have 6 bicycles, one of which cost 1200 and another 2500!! They have to been insured separately. Its my husbands mountain bike hobby which doesnt cost much more. He has served in Iraq, Northern Ireland and Bosnia. I really cant ask him to give this up as he works damd hard for his leisure time.

NTL - Have already downgraded to Homepackage/3-2-1- call package and broadband, and have tried the SKY threat. They know that we are in army accomodation and we are not allowed to put a dish up here!

Mobile Phones.- Both are contracted untill DEC 07

Dog Fees - Annual vaccinations and haircuts

Kids Trips - A trip to the cinema for all five of us cost us 35 quid a time and we only have a family trip once per month. Two kids doing exams and feel they need some downtime but I will try harder here

Lunch Money - All kids take pack lunches, this money is just for times when they have a sports club on after school or something like that. Its just so they have a decent hot meal. So many times this money isnt used.

Thanks again, and Im sitting waiting patiently/desparately for any more advice

xxxxxxxxxxx

funky-footprints

im not great at this but when I came on to this site back in sptember our home insurance was £57.60 per month, the only items that are listed seperately due to thier value are my engagement ring, a canteen (cutlery thing we received as a wedding present from in-laws) and a rocking horse my parents bought for my daughter for christmas, those 3 items are valued at over £2,000 each (the rocking horse was over £3,000) and we have reduced our house insurance to £37.40 per month, so it is possible.

is it because the bikes are in a shed ? ? sorry not sure if that helps .. im sure there are some other solutions. lots of hugs your way. xx

muddled_midget

Hi
I don't know much about carers allowance or WFTC, having no children etc so I don't know how much they would be affected by getting a job, but I really think it would be good for you, as long as it doesn't drastically reduce the family income. You sound isolated and bored with where you are living now, maybe getting out and meeting new people would help address some of these issues, as well as making you feel that you are making a greater contribution towards clearing the debts. I don't know how old your kids are (I'm assuming they're school age) so maybe you could get some hours while they're at school?
It's easy for me to say, having never smoked, but £133 still sounds like a lot of cigarettes, was this before or after you cut back?? speak to your GP, in a lot of areas there are smoking cessation support groups, which aren't as scary as they sound, just a group of people all going through the same thing, sharing their experiences of what is helping/not helping them, as well as a bit of friendly competition in not being the first to give into temptation! Or if you're not into that kind of thing, he can prescribe NRT/Zyban to help you give up.
Also could you get Freeview instead of cable? And I would definitely recommend checking out the OS board, they're great at cutting down the amount you spend at home!
HTH
midget
x

atmywitsend_4

I really dont know what to say, except that being someone that always had so much control and organisation to her life, to hit the wall in such a quick and hard way, I am really struggling to deal with my guilt and the aftermath. It is quite humbling when I read a lot of the other posts and realise that my situation is really petty compared to others and many would kill to have our income. I just feel that my poor husband (2nd marriage) didnt have a good start financially with me as he took on debts incurred from my first marriage (including a 2.5k legal bill!!!). From there, things have spiralled but I put the lid on it within the past six months on online bingo and slots. My unhappyness at our latest army posting probably triggered this huge explosion which has now left me with a huge crater to fill.

I am now looking into working again, trying my hardest to stop smoking, but most of all I will bust a gut as not to let any of my 3 kids or husbands suffer for my problems.

Any more advice would be greatly received.

xxxxxx

D&DD

Welcome to Mse just been reading through and wanted to ask have you claimed for the child tax credits??

matty022000

hi, im no expert, but having been in the army i do understand your situation. Have you tried talking to SSAFA, they wont tell hubbies co, and have a lot of solutions available including financial (they bought me a new cooker once). Worth a try. Is there no way your hubby can put in for a new posting, not sure if it still happens but germany used to pay so much more with loa, depends on his circumstances, good luck, hang in there im sure you will get the advise you need.

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Really sorry to hear of the difficulties you're having. Other people will give you lots of information, advice and guidance about the financial side of things but I'd like to urge you to find some counselling quickly to help you really understand why you became addicted to gambling and how to manage your addiction in the future.

My unhappyness at our latest army posting probably triggered this huge explosion which has now left me with a huge crater to fill.

"probably" isn't knowing with absolute certainty, and you owe it to yourself and your family to make sure it doesn't happen again - £25k sems like a serious gambling habit rather than boredom. If you can be open with your GP he will be able to refer you quickly for some help and support so you can understand the reasons for your behaviour. Hope this helps, Good luck.

tee_pee_2

Hello there

HAve you looked on the internet at Gamblers annonymous.

I deffo think you should go and see your GP for help, there must be help groups out there you can be referred to.

Chin up things can only get better

foreverfriend

hi ya,
i know where you are coming from, i met a man in the army we got married and i found out he had debt from his first marriage. we managed it plus added alot more to it, so when he came out of the army after 23 years we had a debt of £29000. we paid it off with his lump sum, we was going to have a fresh start no debt. we moved area away and brought a house, but i had to leave my friends and family and thats when it all went wrong, i started gambling because i hated where i was living but i loved my husband so i had no choice. i started by going to bingo and when i wasnt betting the buzz i went to slots, in 1 weekend i put £600 into 2 machines i felt sick but carried on doing it, when i ran out of money i took 1 of my husband cc with a £6000 credit limit and max it right up in slot machines. i couldnt sleep, i was always home for the post, but i got found out cause the bank phoned and asked my husband about his card, he didnt know what they was talking about. i had to sit down with him and tell him every thing, he shouted at me but we sorted it out, as long as i went to ga which i did. we have paid that off, but now i am slipping again. we both take a day at a time and hope things get better. im still living in the place i hate after 3 years.
i cant tell you what to do cause im still trying. talk to your hubby tell him everything and how your feeling and if he loves you and the kids you will work something out.

tina x

Feej_2

Just a small thing - "haircuts £19 per month" - I've cut all the family's hair for years. No special skill, just clippers at about £15 a pair and a pair of scissors.

Whether the cause of your gambling is boredom or addiction, agree that sorting it with professional help is a priority.

Can you address the boredom with a hobby/interest which earns insteadn - something creative or marketable that you can do with or for other people around you ??

Long term, you might find that a way into the housing market is via a shared ownership scheme which needs less initial investment:- depends on the area you want to settle in and availability.

Hang on in there!

Feej xx