Is it me or her?

Valli

Ah the terrible twos...you just have to be firm - MUCH easier said than done...
but I am STILL grateful (and DD is 13 now) to the mum (with a buggy of her own) who came and stood by me while I struggled to strap a tantrumming toddler back in her buggy (in town so for safety etc) DD was screaming, I was stressed and this angel said - I'll just stand here and support you (or words to that effect).
Don't know who she was but what a lovely 'sisterly' thing to do...no comment, no criticism of me, just support.

Toonie

16 months is very young still, so she has lots of time to learn more words and patience. My niece is very similar, she has only just started saying more words (she's 2 years 4 months) and just couldn't be bothered with things before, she still has tantrums, but my sister just ignores those as she gets over them quickly.

As far as sitting at the table goes, she's too young to understand that it is the "done" thing to wait for everyone to finish so will get frustrated with being made to sit and wait, so for now let her down to have a play.

Nikabella

Our DD is 2 years 3 months & still acts like this regularly - she started when she was about 12 months - she's a vey strong willed child :rolleyes:

If she can't do something she gets very frustated, she's a very bright child but has little patience. For example, in the car she will insist on taking off her own shoes & socks & then if she can't get them straight back on - restricted by the car seat straps - she starts screaming the car down that she can't do it & needs help. This is quite frustrating, especially as she has been able to put her own shoes on since she was about 15 months, & I use to pull over & help her but she would just repeat the scenario :mad: . So now I talk to her calmly, tell her that I know she can do it as she's a clever girl & that she just needs to keep trying until she gets it & this seems to be working :rolleyes: - seems like an obvious solution but whilst trying to drive down the motorway at 70mph your first thought is generally "Why did you have to take the damn things off!".

Perhaps when your daughter gets frustrated with the shape sorter & throws it, you could calmly retrieve it & tell her that she was doing really well & that she just needs to keep trying & that even mummy sometimes finds hings difficult. (Sorry if you've already tried this!) Maybe when she finishes eating you could whisk the food away quick & put her some crayons & paper on to keep her entertained whilst you finish eating. I always mean to take them out with me as when eating out our DD gets bored & squirmy once she has finished but keep forgetting :rolleyes:

A.x

Rikki

conradmum wrote: »

I really liked that book too, although we're going back 15 years or so!

My favourite quote was 'It's beneath your dignity to argue with a two year old.' :rotfl:

I didn't stop you arguing it just made you mad when you realised you were doing it. :rotfl:

lynzpower

Perhaps when your daughter gets frustrated with the shape sorter & throws it, you could calmly retrieve it & tell her that she was doing really well & that she just needs to keep trying & that even mummy sometimes finds hings difficult

this is really excellent advice IMO.

Also another thing is to make sure you are verbalising to your kids at all times, as they will learn from you resiliance. Things like " oh and now Im going to wipe down this dirty work surface, Oh I better do it again as Ive missed a bit" You might think this is not going in, or its not worth it, but it really is.

hollydays

Rikki wrote: »

I read that as 16yrs until I got to throws herself on the floor and screams. :rotfl:

My youngest got very frustrated when he couldn't do things first or second time. I just used to have to ignore the drama either do something else or sit with him.

As for the eating of meals he was always fairly good, yes he'd have his moments.
I suggest you persevere with family meals. Don't make her stay at the table when she has finished her food if she's bored. Let her get down and play, don't put her in her bedroom let her see you still there eating. As she gets older she will start to sit for longer at the moment you have to go at her pace for meals.

Children of all ages love pushing the boundaries. The day babies are born with a manual is the day we all become perfect parents.

I read it as 16 too-then I thought "of course she only says 2 words,that's normal".....

ellawood

I could have just read this thread and just know how you feel my dd is 18mths and just sounds the same at times I think its going well then we have bad days like today and just could cry hugs and best wishes they do grow out of it

frivolous_fay

OP you've got some odd smileies in your post, is that a virus?

Lalaladybird

Nikabella wrote: »

Maybe when she finishes eating you could whisk the food away quick & put her some crayons & paper on to keep her entertained whilst you finish eating. I always mean to take them out with me as when eating out our DD gets bored & squirmy once she has finished but keep forgetting :rolleyes:

A.x

That is a fantastic idea - I will try this tomorrow :T

jack*tigger

First of all can I say how much I sympathise with you. My DD has been going through the terrible 2's since she was 18mo old - she's now 3.

Part of it is boredom. Which isn't so easy to fix as she has a short attention span. I find trips to the park (weather permitting) work wonders as did (at your DD's age) Mother and Toddler groups etc. Try to get her busy. Plan activities for every day. And when you are at home do things together as much as you can. Even if this is housework. Give her a duster of her own, make biscuits, do colouring and sticking and have tickle fights. If you give her enough attention you will actually get away with leaving her to play on her own for a while too. She will also be a nicer person to be with as she won't have to scream for attention all the time.

Part is pushing the boundaries. So as someone else said stand firm and ignore tantrums (again easier said than done). Divert attention away from the tantrum if you can. Also pick your fight - 'cos some things you have to stick to your guns on and others aren't really worth the argument.

Part of it is frustration of trying to communicate with you and not being able to. My DD loves Something Special on CBeebies. They teach a little sign language on each programme. She has learned a lot and at your DD's age it really helped her. Look for a baby signing class in your area or watch CBeebies together and learn bits that way. It really helps with spoken language too. And now my DD doesn't shut up !

And last but not least .. you aren't a bad Mum. You are the best Mum your little one could ever have. You just have a toddler doing toddler things and they aren't the easiest creatures to tame. But you will get through it and before you know it you'll be asking for advise about stroppy teenagers !!!