Is it me or her?

Lalaladybird

I don't know if I am doing something wrong or if there is something wrong with my dd. My dd (16 mo) was a horror today, having tantrums etc. Luckily she is very affectionate....so glad of that redeeming feature at the moment

She doesn't say any distinct words...just "mum" and "doo" (no). She used to say "iggle pig" but no longer says that. She understands things we say but doesn't try to say them. She doesn't understand the meaning of "no" she just flings herself on the ground and screams. If she tries something like a shape sorter and doesn't get it right straight away she screams and flings it away. She won't sit nicely at the table with us at teatime. We have always had dinner as a family but once she has finished eating she just screams, cries and grabs at our food or squirms about so we put her in her room so we can eat in peace, but when will she learn?

Feel like such a !!!! mum. She has me all day rather than a nursery or childminder but she'd probably come on better without me. Is it me or her? I'd love to hear your thoughts/advise ladies

Rikki

I read that as 16yrs until I got to throws herself on the floor and screams. :rotfl:

My youngest got very frustrated when he couldn't do things first or second time. I just used to have to ignore the drama either do something else or sit with him.

As for the eating of meals he was always fairly good, yes he'd have his moments.
I suggest you persevere with family meals. Don't make her stay at the table when she has finished her food if she's bored. Let her get down and play, don't put her in her bedroom let her see you still there eating. As she gets older she will start to sit for longer at the moment you have to go at her pace for meals.

Children of all ages love pushing the boundaries. The day babies are born with a manual is the day we all become perfect parents.

conradmum

She sounds pretty normal to me. I wouldn't worry yet.

You can be the best mum in the world. It doesn't mean you'll have perfect children.

skylight

The biggest thing with kids of any age is consistentcy. They are testing boundries all the time (and each kid pushes them differently!) just to see if there is chink anywhere!

Its not you. And she does understand no - thats why she is throwing herself on the sofa in a tantrum. She is learning to be herself right now and the NO is exerting some independence.

She is quite normal. And so are you.


I would suggest going to the library and reading up on some books on childrens behaviour and parenting skills. A lot you will agree with and a lot you won't, but there will be different good ideas and answers in each one; just pick out what you need.

sassygirl_2

My DS is 5 months old and i have to say i forgot what it was like having them that age. He's like a 2 yr old in a 5 mnth olds body. He tantrums when he cant get what he wants, and now that he's crawling he's into EVERYTHING! Im sick of saying NO! When he does get something and i remove it from him, he screams and kicks his arms and legs just like a 2yr old would.

I feel for you, i really do, im dreading my DS getting to that age (although ive already been through it 3 times already with the others LOL)

Lalaladybird

Thank you all for your replies. She is watching the tv at the moment :rolleyes: her favourite pastime I usually end up switching it off at the plug because if I switch it off on the tv she switches it back on and tells me "no" cheeky wee madam!

I will get some parenting books out of the library because I feel so lost sometimes...any recommendations?

Rikki

Dr Christopher Green's 'Toddler Taming' a parents guide to the first four years. It was the only one I ever read. Loved the pictures and the humour.

conradmum

Rikki wrote: »

Dr Christopher Green's 'Toddler Taming' a parents guide to the first four years. It was the only one I ever read. Loved the pictures and the humour.

I really liked that book too, although we're going back 15 years or so!

My favourite quote was 'It's beneath your dignity to argue with a two year old.' :rotfl:

Becles

They don't call it the "terrible twos" for nothing

Charlotte is 22 months and we have similar situations with her. It'll pass in time, but it's horrid when they are having tantrums and you can't do anything with them. You just feel so helpless.

Ems*Honie

Hi,

See if you can get hold of 'how not to be a perfect mother'. I think there are a couple of versions, one older. Whilst not a parenting manual, it is a very lighthearted, reassuring read, that helped me feel that I was not alone in not having perfect, textbook children and mothering skills!

Strikes me that she is a bright little lady who knows the meaning of the word No perfectly, and is testing boundry's! Good luck!

Rikki

conradmum wrote: »

I really liked that book too, although we're going back 15 years or so!

My favourite quote was 'It's beneath your dignity to argue with a two year old.' :rotfl:

My eldest is at university now so yes 15 years ago and plus some.

I can't remember using it as a bible more of a way of keeping my sanity and knowing I wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last parent to 'encounter difficulties'. :rotfl: