How to word no guests/plus one for single ppl?

kelda_shelton

re: if I didnt know the other half.... I guess it would depend how good a friend the frriend or relative was

SugarSpun

I've been to weddings where I only knew the bride and groom, a wedding where I only knew my boyfriend (who was the best man and kept busy till after dinner - even on a different table), and one where I only knew the groom. The ceremony is fine - you can't talk to people anyway - and at the reception you're sitting with people who should be able to hold at least a minimal conversation with you. Most couples will make seating plans so that single guests are with people they'll get on with.

We had three or four guests at our wedding who didn't know anyone else - I made sure that other friends of mine who were attending in groups knew that there were some people coming alone and knew what they looked like, so as soon as the ceremony was over my wonderful friends swooped on the singletons and kept them for the rest of the day. We also let the solo guests know that they'd be sitting with [particular friends] and why we thought they'd get on well together. Judging by their constant Facebooking together post-wedding, it was a successful strategy.

All in, including the wedding breakfast and all the incidental costs like champagne etc, we spent about 35 pounds on each guest. That's a bit much if you have a few guests coming alone like we did. There are ways around "your guests are a bit shy" that can still be moneysaving.

morg_monster

We've gone for an individualised approach... cousins get a plus one if they are living together / engaged (or married, obviously!). We also must know their name, we aren't just writing "plus one"...
Friends, on the whole we have to have met their OH - again this isn't a problem for most good friends as we consider their partners friends too ... but there are a few not quite so close friends where they are living together or engaged and we have not ever met the OH ... on the whole we've capitulated and just invited them anyway - these people are only invited to the evening anyway.

I have one friend coming who I used to work with, she only knows me, my bridesmaid and one other girl, so I think I will give her a true plus one - at the moment she is with a guy but i'm not sure if he'll be who comes as i don't think the relationship is necessarily long term. mainly it's the thought of her coming up on the train on her own that makes me feel bad for her!!

Children - we've named them on the invite as we are happy for them to come.

Can i suggest that you do say something about children on the info sheet. IMHO it is much harder to turn around to someone who assumes their kids are coming and say no, as you then have awkwardness AND babysitter issues. With the plus one / partners issue, you just have awkwardness :-)
just something like "unfortunately due to space restrictions we cannot accomodate children".
But - I would honestly question you using 18 as a cut off - unless there is no-one between say 13 and 18. just have a think whether you have any potential invitees aged 16 or 17 who might be upset at being classed as children and not being invited.

Floss

Neeny82 wrote: »

.......A friend of mine has been in a similar predicament regarding numbers and has taken the decision to invite all of the girls (her friends) without their partners to the day do with OH's attending in the evening. This has not been a problem for any of us........

I think this is a good compromise, if funds & space allow.

Pee

It would be worth considering whether you would go to their wedding without your soon to be husband, or would you have say just before you got engaged, or if they are a friend/ relative of your husband whether he would have gone without you and how you would have felt.

I wouldn't mind if I wasn't invited if I had never met the person getting married, but attending a wedding can be quite expensive, often more expensive than inviting someone if they need a stopover/ new outfit/ long train journey and then a taxi...

Pee

Floss wrote: »

I think this is a good compromise, if funds & space allow.

This would certainly be a favourable option with a lot of my male friends, although if they all ended up in the same pub without any female intervention, I think the wedding party might be a bit messy...