How to word no guests/plus one for single ppl?

Mark_Hewitt

IMO if someone has a longish term partner then they should be invited too. Either that or you don't invite either of them.

If I was invited to a wedding and my girlfriend wasn't allowed to go, I wouldn't go!

Neeny82

Obviously there are issues with this but I think that people need to remember that weddings cost a serious amount of money and unfortunately you cannot always invite +1. Most of our guests are being invited along with their partners but that is because numbers allow but we are not inviting +1's for the sake of it - only people who are serious relationships.

A friend of mine has been in a similar predicament regarding numbers and has taken the decision to invite all of the girls (her friends) without their partners to the day do with OH's attending in the evening. This has not been a problem for any of us. I am not offended or upset that my OH has not been invited but maybe this is because I am currently planning my own wedding and know how hard work it can be.

At the end of the day the couple have invited you as they want you to share their special day - it's not really about the wants and needs of the guests.

kelda_shelton

I say a 6 month rule if at the inviattion send out stage they have been seeing someone properly for less than 6 months - dont put em in.

kelda_shelton

i do think the single friend thing is an issue in terms of not knowing people but luckily any single friends i will be inviting all have other friends who are invited in common .. plus the hen/stag night idea is good - that way you at least know some folk at the wedding - just make an effort to put them at atable with someone they bonded with on the hen/stag night

IWantToBeFree_2

kelda_shelton wrote: »

I say a 6 month rule if at the inviattion send out stage they have been seeing someone properly for less than 6 months - dont put em in.

Would you still invite someone who they have been seeing for 6 months but you didn't even know?

funky_snow

got a similarish conundrum and would be good to hear peoples opinions on this... originally got a text invite for me and my boyfriend. But we've split up now - and my friend knows as we had a good old catch up on the phone. I've now had the formal invite - and its just for me.
Apart from the bride and groom I won't know anyone at the wedding - and i can't make the hen do to meet anyone else beforehand... Is it cheeky of me to ask if i can bring someone? Its not local to home - so will have to stay in a hotel and at least could share the cost - and not have that awkward scenario where you're stood on your own. Just the thought of it at the moment is making me feel panicky - but i don't want to decline the invite either as I really like both of them...????

milkybars

I don't see what the problem with going alone is... you can't talk through the service. At the reception, I'm sure most people are capable of making polite conversation with those they are seated with... ta da you've made some friends for the evening do! Or if you didn't get on with them that well you can get the bride/groom to introduce you to some other folk... dance your heart out... or prop up the bar.

Funky Snow you mention sharing the cost of staying overnight but isn't that a bit harsh to ask a friend to come to a wedding of a couple that even you only know the couple and expect them to pay?!

Neeny82

funky_snow wrote: »

got a similarish conundrum and would be good to hear peoples opinions on this... originally got a text invite for me and my boyfriend. But we've split up now - and my friend knows as we had a good old catch up on the phone. I've now had the formal invite - and its just for me.
Apart from the bride and groom I won't know anyone at the wedding - and i can't make the hen do to meet anyone else beforehand... Is it cheeky of me to ask if i can bring someone? Its not local to home - so will have to stay in a hotel and at least could share the cost - and not have that awkward scenario where you're stood on your own. Just the thought of it at the moment is making me feel panicky - but i don't want to decline the invite either as I really like both of them...????

How well do you know this friend? You could always ask her and see if she would mind, but it could be awkward if you are not particularly close. I understand what you mean about that though. Perhaps you could bring it into conversation about who she is thinking of sitting you with and ask if you have ever met any of them before? She may then tell you to bring someone. I think there is no harm in asking but obviously if she says no then you can't get the hump with her as there are other factors which may affect her decision. I'm sure that if she is a good friend she will either let you bring someone or sit you with people that she knows you will be comfortable with. I hope you manage to sort something - it would be a shame for you to not go! Let us know how you proceed.

funky_snow

thanks - for the quick replies...
i wouldn't expect friend to pay for hotel - was more thinking about petrol as its really far away...
i used to be very close to my friend but we are starting to lose touch a little since she moved away to be with her hubby and she's much more busy and building up her new life so we don't talk that often anymore...
i know my friend is very polite - and originally was happy for me to come with a boyfriend that she's never met before. i guess the truth is i don't know if its a small wedding and pressure on numbers - or whether she was being tactful knowing that i'm no longer with mark so dropped his name off but hasn't realised i might be a bit intimidated by going on my own.
the wierd thing is i know how stressful it is organising a wedding and theres so many things to think about...
the more i think about this - the more i don't want to bother her and i might just rsvp a no - if i feel panicky now about being on my own its only going to be worse on the day!!!!

s4aRainyDay

I went to a wedding on my own last year and was terrified, sitting through the ceremony on my own I did feel quite silly. But as soon as that was over some really nice people came over to talk to me, there always a few people who don't know many other and you can talk to them. maybe you could ask the bride to put you on a table with other friendly people, or get her to arrange for you to meet up with a couple of other single guest before the ceremony.

Even though I was one my own, it was a really fun day and you should really try to go, it will be hard (I understand I'm horribly shy, and was very stressed about going) but it will mean a lot if you do put in the effort. If you really want to take someone else, maybe you could ask and buy them a really great present to make up for the extra cost. Planning mine now and it cost roughly £80/head which is a lot of money just to keep you company.