How to word no guests/plus one for single ppl?

sherbie28

Hi,

We have such a large family and limited space that my sister (she's the bride) has decided that they can't accomodate under 18s and plus ones. Obviously if a couple are engaged she's invited the finace/ee, but she doesn't want the single people (cousins) to assume that they can bring b/fs etc. I am making the invites and was planning on just writing the name and leaving it at that but do you think I should write something where I'm going to explain about no children. Thanks

Idiophreak

You can either put it in a letter accompanying the invitation "we regret that we're unable to invite children and partners unless stated", or something, or have a tickbox for +1 next to the name. Leave it unchecked and people might get the idea - think I prefer the first option, though

SugarSpun

I'd just write the names of the people you're inviting, and if any RSVP information comes back with extras call them and explain that the invitation was only for them.

Horace

Just write the names of the people you are inviting - eg. Joe Bloggs - if you were inviting children you would put actually mention them on the invitation by name. If the RSVP comes back with other names then just say that partners and children are not invited.

There is no need to invite people that the bride doesnt know especially if she doesnt know them - so it is possible to invite cousins and not their fiance/ees.

*Louise*

I would just address to the person concerned. Most people would understand if it doesn't have 'plus 1' written on it then they shouldn't take a partner.

What about long term relationships but not engaged, are they invited? If so, where's the cut-off.

It's sooo complicated

IWantToBeFree_2

I'd just write the one persons name.

One of my friends automatically thought that he was able to bring his boyfriend, yet I have never met this boy, and to be honest, the thought of 2 boys slobbering over each other on my big day is very off putting... I am friends with his sister too so I had said bring her, but I think he was a bit miffed. Dunno why, my female friends aren't bringing their boyfriends so why does he assume he can bring his!

becs

Hi,

Can I just add something to this discussion. As a previous singleton for quite a long time I was invited to a few weddings on my own. I was very shy and would not go to weddings if I didn't know a few other people going. I think all I'm trying to say is think about the singletons you are inviting and would they be happy to attend on their own. I do also know what it's like to organise a wedding with severely restricted numbers. When I got married we had 50 guests limited to close friends and family. We invited my aunts and uncles but not cousins so that our friends could come as well. We only had a couple of single friends but they were invited with plus ones because they wouldn't be comfortable coming on their own. For us it was more important to have them there than relatives we didn't even see once a year.

xJayJayx

Thank you sherbie i was wondering this for when i invite people to my wedding because there are some members of my family i'd rather not have there and too many plus 1's would mean going over budget!
So thanks and thanks to the replies

s4aRainyDay

My cousin got married last year and I didn't get a plus one for my OH whom I was living with(I was rather annoyed, only went to make my Dad happy), now that we're getting married all his brothers and sisters are saying they all expect plus ones.

Our rule no one gets invited unless both of us know them, this removes most of my cousins, since none of them have made any effort to get to know him. We're just saying we're having a very small wedding and regret that everyone couldn't be invited but we would love to meet up for a glass of bubbly with them some time soon (or orange juice for the kids).

sunshinejoclaire

we did invite our cousins partners, but not as a plus one.

I addressed ours to 'X plus Partner. Only one of our extensive list of cousins said 'i might invite my best friend instead of my boyfriend'. I resolved that by having a discreet word in her mum's ear to advise there is friends of ours who couldn't come to the day due to money.

Pee

I would say if you know the plus ones name, you probably ought to be inviting them, and if you don't, you didn't.

But then it does make it hard for people who are single if they don't know anyone, hopefully not a problem with your cousins, and maybe what the hen night is for?

I do have to say that I would be quite miffed if someone didn't invite my boyfriend, too, but that if someone explained, I'm sorry that I only invited you but we are limited as to numbers, then I would no longer mind.

At my cousins wedding, my uncle explained why he had not invited my then boyfriend - to avoid problems in the family, which I knew anyway, but it was so nice of him to say and to say that he had thought about it, really made me feel fine about it.