posting as a last resort - please help! (long)

suewiththeblues

i have actually given myself a headache from crying today so think i will lie in the bath for a bit and take a nurofen and have a little think to myself as to what tomorrows grand plan will be

cazziebo

amersall wrote: »

yes your right. an employer is not allowed to give you a bad reference, but they can decline giving one at all

An employer can give a "bad" reference as long as it is factual. Also, it would be wrong for an employer to give a good reference if it was untrue.( I used to be an HR Director and advise on employment law.)

Sue - things do look very bleak for you but as epsilon says - look for the positives. It might seem tough just now, but reading your posts I think you have a good relationship with your son, and sound like a great mum. I do agree he should be paying something towards the household - he's an adult now and has to share that responsibility. Same with housework.

You're doing a fab job as a mum and just need a bit of luck in getting that next paid job. If you want any advice on applications, CV, interviews then PM me.

You'll get through this - your strength shines through your posts. You've got this far..

suewiththeblues

oh gosh... cazzie am off in tears now again lol why is it when you feel this low all someone has to do to reduce you to tears is say something nice! lol

my friend just saw my son out and he said to him i 'told him off about college' so maybe he has taken something on board - i guess i feel guilty putting pressure on him right now as i am out of work and that was my mess not his?!

the replies are really cheering me up and i dont feel so alone right now!

epsilondraconis

As you're beginning to cheer up, I thought I'd send you a dodgy hug. I'm not quite sure what's going on between the 3 of them but hopefully it'll extend your smile for a little longer. :grouphug:

suewiththeblues

ha ha yeah it is a bit dodgy, i cant see a 2 person hug anywhere though so i guess the smiley designer just thought a 3 person hug was the way to go lol

i do feel a bit better now,posting has taken my mind off it all a bit and i know i just have to get on with it as the only person that can make it all better as usual is me! but god what an awful day and my head aches from everything going round and round, tomorrow more paperwork and finances and have to do all the stuff i was meant to do today whilst moping around :rolleyes:

allIcouldwishfor

You sound so overwhelmed and frazzled by it all. I'm sorry you are feeling low. I have found in the past that once you make a couple of little positive changes, things don't seem quite so bad. You've done so well this far - keep your chin up!

suewiththeblues

overwhelmed is a good word, i do feel totally worn out with it all it has been one thing or another for a year now! all this college stuff today has just pushed me over the edge... it made me feel that everything i have been doing to hold things together has been pointless

lynzpower

One thought I had is that maybe its time, to stop being a parent and start being more like "housemates" and" sharers" where you are both taking responsbility for your own thing, and both enjoy living with each other out of choice ?If you have a 50/50 split in terms of costs, chores, doing your own laundry etc, and maybe once in a while take some time out- if you do get this job what about going out to get a pizza on one of the any deals on this website or use tesco vouchers for a day out.

Maybe together you could raise a bit of money - say like a car boot sale ( borrow a freinds car- possible? ) even if you just make a tenner you can still enjoy that money on spending some nice time together.

Times are tough at the moment, and for you sounds like they have been tough for a while.

uni is not the be all adn end all beliee me Ive been it cost me an utter fortune and I ewas broke paying it back for years. On a low income you can get money towars OU courses- have you thought about doing a free course- it certainly sounds like you need something for "you" for Sue to become herself again instead of a fretter who spends all her time "keeping it all together"

Also, some advice given to me on here, is to look after yourself, if you dont no one will so have lots of long baths, paint your toenails, nice relaxing music and it neednt cost anything but just give yourself lots of time, and plenty of early nights and book reading. Focus some time just for you, you really sound like you need it xx

suewiththeblues

thanks lynz

in some ways we are like housemates as he sits in his room playing computer games all the time when he is in and i am usually faffing around with paperwork, housework or the likes

but i guess it will make me feel like this is a more even thing if he is contributing as he does not do much to help out at all

i think it is a good suggestion that the 2 of us do go out once a week or so or spend a bit of time together as things are so tense lately i dont even feel relaxed in his company and i daresay from the amount of time he spends in his room he doesnt feel relaxed in mine either (ouch!)

i am not much of a book reader as uni killed it for me but funnily enough the past year i have started reading and it did help distract me so will start on another book, thanks for reminding me of that!

Uni is also where i went financially haywire, it stings doesnt it?