A Payment a Day Part 3

Maisie_M

Hi folks quiet day for me today. £5 for my PAD today.

Well done Flower on paying council tax off. Must be a huge relief to know that you will not be receiving their nasty letters any more.

Double Trouble well done on paying off halifax.

Congrats to anyone else who has paid off a card/debt that I have missed out. Also congratulations to us all for making those debts smaller each day no matter how big or small the payments.

Twinkles - sorry you are having a tough time with OH. It can be difficult to get partners on board with clearing thier debts, especially if they haven't had their light bulb moment. Why don't you concentrate on clearing your debts for the moment as you are motivated and leave his and when you clear yours he will see how you have money to spend and are happier and may well wish to be the same, then you can start tacking his debts together. As they say you can take the horse to water but you can't make it drink.

Flower08

Hi Twinkles, sorry to hear you have had a rubbish day. Is it wrong that i had a little giggle to myself about you throwing the cuppa soup at him?

Anyway on a more serious note, i completely understand where you are coming from. The debt in my sig, only about £1000 of that is mine, the rest is OHs, but i see it as joint debt - yet i often feel like im the one putting all the effort in to reduce it.

I have found with OH that i have had to loosen the belt with debt paying a bit. He can manage for a couple of weeks at a time with serious debt busting, but then its almost like he gets bored, so now he has £20 a week to spend on as and how he chooses. It does annoy me that £80 a month could be paid towards the debts, but it avoids the arguements, and when he has that flexibility he does tend to be alot more supportive - if that makes sense!!

Anyway i guess what im saying is people who havent had their LBM or dont deem their debt to be a big problem arent likely to put the hard work in. Keep your chin up though, you are doing great!!

Twinkles08

Thanks flower08,looking back I think it's quite funny too,I'm v v placid until you upset me then everyone stands back lol.
I think your right,it's too tight for him and he's freaking out big time.I too was thinking we could have a set amount each but a little voice keeps saying 'you cld use that on the debt'.I think I have to find a balance.I have to be honest though and say three quarters of the debt is actually mine.I was a big shopaholic before I met hubby,whereas althou he doesn't kp an eye on his bank acc or budget at all he has an ability to always stay just under the limit.Five yrs on thou and we seem to have swapped roles,my attitude has turned around but he doesn't care about debt hanging over us!

Flower08

*Flower makes mental note never to upset twinkles!*

I dont blame you for feeling like that, it drives me mad that i have to hand over £20 every week to OH to spend on rubbish!! Luckily within the last few months he has got more supportive and has even told me to just take control over all the finances.

It is hard to clear debts when your OH isnt fully on bored, but i think you are probably right you need to find a balance - i am still trying to find that balance!!

mooomin

My OH has debts too, but his loan will be clear in July and his credit card is on a 3.9% LOB rate - I just about bit the credit companys hand off to take that one for him but he isn't too bothered about it.

He's very supportive of what I'm doing in trying to reduce mine, and when he gives me his statement to pay off each month I put a bit extra towards his too so that I feel as though his Debt-Free date is coming sooner.

As he isn't working and I handle the budget for both of us on my salary, I have taken the decision to pay off my debts first, as I have had a proper LBM. When my debt is cleared (By the time I'm 30, so help me God) I will be in a position to help him clear his.

In answer to the OP though, sod him. If he doesn't want to reduce his debts then ignore them and concentrate on yours. You can worry about him when you're debt-free with money to burn

*hugs*

mooomin

Twinkles08 wrote: »

He gave up a 10 a day smoking habit about a month ago and he's taken it hard.He says he has no release and he seems a bit broken and bitter about it all.I've actually begged him to start smoking again as he is so miserable,snappy,bitter,unreasonable and mood swings ahoy.(he has support from doc with patches,inhalater etc).

He might not be ready to quit quite yet, and although he is trying, he still has the "habit" if he is using the inhilator - fiddling with something, inhaling nicotine etc.

I quit seven months and 13 days ago (Woo me!) because I decided it was time for me to quit and for no other reason. It was expensive and I was stinky :rotfl: I quit using nothing more than Wrigleys gum and willpower and it was hell on toast for the first two days but I have been fine since then. T'other half still smokes, so when I get that Marlboro urge I give him a hug

Also, on a MSE note, I emailed Wrigleys to say thanks for helping me quit (Took me 30 seconds, did it for a laugh) and got five packs of my favourite gum in the post

On a funnier note, t'other half came back from college on Day 1 of the Smoke-Free Fresian and asked how I was - I burst into tears twice and made him walk to the M&S garage (twenty minutes away) to buy me cake. I refused to let him back in unless he confirmed he had cake.

A melt-in-the-middle chocolate pudding later and I was fine.

I will never smoke again, because I can't go through Day 1 again. I have never been more mental in my life. Even when I was under the care of a psychiatrist Smoking's bad, m'kay kids?!

panambi

Evening all,

today a friend finally gave us £200 back she has owed us for about 5 years, so that's gone towards my PAD (the holiday fund though), plus I had some various bits like a £2 coin and a bank account that needed rounding, so total PAD for today is £205.38

Sorry to hear about your rubbish day Twinkles - my OH hasn't had his LBM yet either and sometimes I do wonder why I bother saving on groceries etc when he just goes online and buys books etc whenever he feels like it (and doesn't seem to mind to put it on his CC - and his has a much higher APR than mine!) So I concentrate on my debts for now even though they are the higher amounts and it would be easier and more encouraging to pay some of his off first just to see the number of debts reducing! I hope your OH sees the light soon and becomes more supportive!

missthrifty

Evening everyone

Typing away... pressed wrong button and everything disappeared

Start again ...

Sorry to hear some of you are having a bad time at the moment... I hope things improve.

Had a nsd today :j Walked one mile to swimming pool, had a free swim (over 12 lengths) and walked home again .. trying to get fit.

This afternoon went browsing in garden centre.. bought nothing but took away some ideas for my patio. Might buy plants at the market on Friday.

PAD of £4.00 to NW CC

Still waiting for DS and DD and D brother to repay money owed :mad: Decided not to be so 'helpful' in future. Just want to get myself debt free but it does seem to be an up hill struggle.

Must not be downhearted ... we are all in this together but we shall overcome !!!!!!!

miss t

Twinkles08

Hello flying fresian,I think 'cos I've never been addicted to smoking I find it hard to understand.I do try to be supportive but he does seem to want a lot of support and it's v draining after doing it for a month!Well done you by the way!I was in fits of giggles 'bout the whole cake story *snorts and throws her head back again-sorry!
I think your right,he totally didn't want to quit and wasn't ready but he had his nose and jaw broken in a scheduled op and had no choice for a wk and then everyone suggested he continue to stay off them (doc,me his mum,my mum and more).I've acvtually told him 3 times in the last 7 days to start smoking again 'cos he really is in such a foul unreasonable,woe is me mood,it's quite unbearable (all joking aside).
panambi,thank you for your support too.Luckily hubby doesn't seem interested in spending new credit (we have everything frozen)he just shows zilch interest in paying anything but the min on our debts (which is a total of £11 per month!).We must be v strong women is all I can say-lol

SarahNeedle1872

Twinkles, sorry you're having a rough time with your OH, you have my full sympathy on that one! I have given up trying to get OH to have his LBM (although he may do this week as he owes me £200 ), and therefore have stopped paying his debt off... three times now I have cleared his CC onto one of my 0% deals, plus a £500 phone bill problem:eek: and the only 'progress' is that now all the debt is in my name! So he gets the minimum payment to his CC, despite it initially being the smallest balance, and having the biggest APR - good old cash advance! :mad:

I love him to pieces, I just wish he would 'get with the program!' :rolleyes:

Sx