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downshifter

Good morning everyone, on this wet and windy Monday morning. Am very lazy today still in dressing gown. Seriously thinking about dropping the freelance bit of what I do at the moment, I had thought one of the advantages of being self-employed is being out of office politics but this morning I found an email I'd been copied into from one of the board members of the charity that contracts me to another and they are constantly at each others throats about how things should be run as well as personal insults that go back years and years, and the language is so colourful! Not that I care about that generally, I can swear for England, but it seems so unprofessional in formal meetings and emails which are copied to lots of people. I try to stay out of it but the various factions are continually trying to annexe me to their causes. A friend has told me that when they worked for a huge national charity it was very similar!!! What I do is an ongoing project which at least pays regularly. Have also heard from a friend who has just landed a really interesting job in education, with private healthcare and a million perks and it's left me feeling really unsettled. I think this is a week for taking stock!

Have a great Monday everyone, I usually love Mondays as being another fresh start, I'm sure I'll bounce back though. And I did win £10 on the lottery last week, I should remember to count my blessings!!!

Jan

whitewing

Following on from downshifter's post above - how do you guys build resilience? I can find small things knock my confidence, and I waste more time than I should talking myself back into being upbeat. For example any guy who is late to pay makes me so cross (even when it's just bad organisation and not ill-intent), yet there is no problem with the vast majority of my customers.

cheekymonkey20

Today is a very exciting day.
start my new "day job" which pays the bills, which pays more money and will give me more time for my own business.
I am gonna sit down tonight and read through a few insurance policies and up my knowledge.
I have emailed a few people this morning and printed out a load of flyers so i can do some canvassing tonight, only 60 flyers but we'll see how it goes.

Bad side, they have come today to pick up my old company car, BUT its gonna give me more incouragement to make more money from my business so that I can go out and buy a car again.

When i get back tonight im just gonna change a few direct debit dates so i dont end up going into the red lol!

Have a productive day guys. remember we can do this and were much better off than being in the rat race of working for other people. We are our own boss!

downshifter

whitewing wrote: »

Following on from downshifter's post above - how do you guys build resilience? I can find small things knock my confidence, and I waste more time than I should talking myself back into being upbeat. For example any guy who is late to pay makes me so cross (even when it's just bad organisation and not ill-intent), yet there is no problem with the vast majority of my customers.

An interesting question, I should imagine it's partly because we are more resilient types in the first place that we take the plunge that so many others don't, or else we develop it along the way. If we work with others in a shop or office or whatever, we can bounce ideas off other people or even just have a good old gossip which puts things in proportion. If you're on your own it's harder - though this thread is brilliant for help with this. That's why for me it's important to have a range of pieces of work with different organisations so that if one goes a bit sour, there are others that will pick me up again. Some of the NLP techniques are sometimes helpful in boosting your spirits and getting the proportion right, though having said that, I'm wallowing in self-disbelief this morning! I've been doing a bit of planning with my diary for the week and feel better, having built in some activities that I know will give me quick wins and make me feel better and more productive, and which will, I hope, counterbalance the down sides. In the meantime however, I am going to look for something else freelance.

Hope that helps, actually I don't think it does, it just offloads more of how I'm feeling, sorry!! Jan

cheekymonkey20

Yes I do think that planning is essential.
And personally i think relying on payments coming in on specific dates just sets up for disapointment if they do not come through.
Why not print off a few motivation posters and put them up inn your office and around your home so that if something upsets you just go round and read them.
If you feel youself getting a bit annoyed. Go to the kitchen put the kettle on, and count to ten, and say to yourself, I can do this, i am stong enough to have taken the plunge to self employment, its only a little bump, now what can i do to be proactive about it.
ORRR play pollyannas GLAD game, find a reason to be glad about something bad.
Like today im carless... but im glad because it means i have to walk places meaning i will loose more weight, so im glad ill loose weight.

downshifter

cheekymonkey20 wrote: »

ORRR play pollyannas GLAD game, find a reason to be glad about something bad.
Like today im carless... but im glad because it means i have to walk places meaning i will loose more weight, so im glad ill loose weight.

Yes that really works, I used to do that when I was little, being an avid Polyanna reader! Brilliant idea. The other thing is being grateful, my grandmother always used to say it was important to be grateful (for small mercies etc etc!!) but the top motivational thinkers now recognise that as a really important way of upping the beat. It's all about getting the proportion right, not letting one bad payer overshadow the fact that the others all pay on time. On the other hand, if everyone except one was a bad payer, is it possible to be grateful for that one? I suppose it is really. But important not to wallow in the bad stuff, people who are clinically depressed are taught to look on the bright side and it is possible to put it to the back of your mind and think other stuff.

Time to stop thinking and go and get dressed and do some work! Well done Cheekymonkey20 for your new start, hope it goes really well.
Jan

cheekymonkey20

i have had a LOT of bad things happen in my life over the past two years, i find that it does help. Sometimes i do have to slap myself but i just try to be glad about things, i find im a lot more possitive and happy if i do.

Thanks jan, i hope it goes well too. Now juggling a day job AND self employment, along with getting the house work done. I am soo glad i dont have kids just yet. But the idea is to earn enough to quit the day job and just have my self employment. Luckily in my line of work i only have to do 2 hours of work to get myself about £1000. 10 buildings and contents policies get me £600per yeear, 10 MRP gets me £600 per year and 10 life policies gets me £75 pm and then on top of that i get £350 ish per mortgage. So £1275 the first years month just from the insurances. Which i cannot complain at really.
Organisation for me is key to make sure i keep up to date with all work and housework. and have time for relaxation too so i dont get too stressed out.

Em

tyllwyd

whitewing wrote: »

Following on from downshifter's post above - how do you guys build resilience? I can find small things knock my confidence, and I waste more time than I should talking myself back into being upbeat. For example any guy who is late to pay makes me so cross (even when it's just bad organisation and not ill-intent), yet there is no problem with the vast majority of my customers.

I'm struggling with that at the moment - I had a bad morning a couple of months ago where one of my clients told me that all the authors were complaining about what I'd done, and then that I'd sent the wrong files. After a few e-mails back and forth, it turned out that what I'd supplied was right, but the client had sent the wrong files off to the typesetter. But it upset me quite a lot at the time (and I didn't get any sort of apology), and it has shaken my confidence in what I do. I guess my confidence comes from the times I get repeat work, and when clients pass on thanks from the authors for doing a good job, which is always nice.

I suppose that if I didn't pick myself up and get on with things, I'd never do any work so I wouldn't have a business. In lots of ways, I did find it easier in my old role in house, where I was the person sending out work to freelancers rather than being the freelancer myself - I prefer picking up other people's mistakes and feeling smug about it rather than being told I've done something wrong! And if I have a good relationship with my contact at the client I'm working for, that makes a big difference - a friendly email with a hello at the beginning rather than being barked orders at makes a big difference in how I feel about the job!

Horace

I guess I am just resilient and my adage is "!!!!!! happens" - you wouldn't believe it but back in 2007 I was a quivering wreck having been bullied by my boss to the point that I contemplated disappearing:rolleyes: Looking back I realised that he was the one with the problem because despite being a professor he was actually thick and that I was more intelligent than he was:D I have been told since that everything that went wrong was laid at my door even after I had been made redundant. It took me a while to get myself together again and start up on my own - its hard but its fun and I am cultivating a few clients - no-one has confirmed any bookings mind but I don't care because I know that clients will come.

I am off to see my solicitor today to pick up the contract that she has written for me (I can adapt it to suit various clients) and I am pleased that I negotiated her fee down from £195 an hour to £75 an hour (I was hoping for free but no go:rolleyes: ). I also received a call from the folks that I do mystery shopping for and I can earn an easy £15 at lunchtime today:j

Ballymackeonan

Resilience comes with experience to some extent - generally the nasty, bullying, unreasonable people we deal with in business or employment are taking out their insecurities on us. Once we've recognised that, it's easier to deal with - keeping calm is the main thing!

One tip, keep time surreptitiously, e.g. by tapping your foot a little, and speak in time to that when you're in a stressful situation.. if you are stressed, you tend to speak faster and your voice rises, and the other person will pick up on this. If you keep your voice slow and steady, you appear calm (even when you are seething/panicking inside!) It's been useful to me in negotiations!