elderly relative living far away

Newly_retired

When my parents were ill then dying, their grandchildren each did what they could, when they could, according to their means/ability/aptitude/time etc, eg transport, money, paperwork, car stuff, toiletries, and so on, but nobody just dropped everything and devoted themselves for 2- 3 weeks. It is just not realistic.
All being well, MIL is coming out of hospital next week, with a care package in place for 6 weeks, which will then be re-assessed. DH will go down to open up the house to receive her and return home the next day. Not sure after that. GD is extremely close to her GM, whereas GS is not, and has not visited at all.
Looks like we are nearly out of this phase for now, and moving into the next one.

Primrose

I do sympathise. Nearly every with elderly parents jas to juggle with these situations when they arise and there is never a perfect solution. I can understand that in these difficult times with rising unemployment, it needs to be a high priority for people to hang onto their jobs and in the circumstances you describe I would have thought that sharing out the hospital visiting, so that only one person does it at a time would be a more efficient and effective way of sharing limited family resources. Everybody is leading such stressed lives these days that very few people apart from family have time for hospital visiting. Not only is it time consuming, by the time you've added the cost of petrol and parking or bus fares, it's also expensive. I would have thought that the most effective use of time would be when she's out of hospital and has very limited domestic help. I know care in some hospitals is not ideal, but at least there are staff around. However, it's not always a good time to suggest this when family stresses and anxieties are high. If the individuals concerned are willing, prepared and financially able to do it, it's probably best to let them make the decisions. They're the ones making the sacrifices.

Pee

Hmm, I can't say that I would be delighted if my boyfriend took a fortnight off work to visit an ailing relative. That said it's very nice she cares so much about her GM, and that she has such a good relationship with her Dad.

Newly_retired

Well MIL is now back home. Apparently she skipped around like an excited child at Christmas! DH went down to be there for her arrival, but thanks to confusion as to whether the hospital or social services were arranging transport, she didn't get home till early evening.
Care package is in place, 3 visits a day, so DH plans to leave soon ( a couple of days? ) so that they don't think he is always going to be around.
Many thanks for all who have replied.