Big Spender Needs Help!

Horace

If you managed to get yourself a sewing machine from freecycle - you could change the clothes that you have by adding accessories, frills or whatever, change the buttons even - that way you think you have a new wardrobe when you don't.

If you have so many clothes maybe you could get together with your chums and swish (its all the rage these days) - where you have clothes and they bring clothes and you swap. Again this is another way of getting 'new' clothes without spending any money.

Remember the thing with fashion that it goes around in circles. You should follow your own fashion rather than the trends.

Good luck with your moneysaving and money raising.

TurnaroundSue

Have you tried the bowen technique for your neck. My OH had a car accident back in the 80s and he had problems with his neck for the next 10 years. One day he woke up and couldn't move his neck at all. The gp sent him to a physio (courtesy of the nhs:D ) in the local hospital the following day and whilst I was sitting in the waiting room I heard this massive scream and, yes you've guessed it it was my hubby. From there on he went and had bowen technique treatment, which he paid for, and said that combined with the two it was brilliant. For the first time in 10 years he was free from pain. He continued to go for the bowen treatment when he could feel his neck 'playing up' which was about every 6 months or so, but as time has gone on these visits became less frequent - i think it is most probably around 3 years since he last went for treatment.

Google bowen technique and see if there is a person in your area - cost around £40 per treatment, but worth a go and see if it will help you like it did by OH.

SnowyPea

Hi everyone - I think talking about all of this has really helped me to put things in perspective.

I'm not a big spender as such. I just don't save anything. I pay off my loans every month and don't add to them.

We were stung by my tax bill and not saving enough away. Not anticipating I'd lose so much income. So that's how I've got no money left. However - I still find myself buying things I don't need.

It's only really been this past two months that things have got really tight. And I've finally - for the first time - not had any spare cash left over to 'treat' myself to new clothes.

That £750 includes bills, food, mortgage and a joint loan. We're getting our outgoings down by getting rid of the loans. Believe me - we'd be far better off once they've gone. So instead of plodding by and using any spare cash to 'treat' ourselves. We're going to treat ourselves to getting debt free.

Once I get a full time job, we're also going to sort out pensions and savings. And stash the cash so to speak.

So this lesson has taught me more of that I need to stop spending and start saving and paying back what I already owe. Over-paying on loans and getting rid of them as soon as possible.

The buzz I get from buying new things will be replaced by a buzz of NOT buying those new things. Of finding ways to save money and cut back.

We're already taking steps to do so and I'm really feeling positive.

With regards to my neck - I've had this pain for over three years now. I've tried everything. Mainly privately.

I've had private acupuncture, Bowen Therapy, massage, physio.. I've seen a chiropractor.. an osteopath.. I've spent probably more than £1000 on all of these things and nothing has worked.

The only thing that moderates the pain is exercise and staying active. Limiting the time I spend driving or sat at a desk.

I've had assessors make sure my posture's right at my desk on dozens of occasions. My partner bought me the best desk chair money can buy and all sorts of equipment to help me out.

I've just got this neck pain for life. I've accepted that. It's just something I've grown to accept. I'm proud of myself for just getting on with life. And I know recently - my usual healthy obsession with buying new clothes has turned into a comfort blanket almost.

It's a comfort. It cheers me up. I think what will cheer me up more is knowing that we have money in the bank and a healthy outlook financially.

Thanks everyone

RAS

Hi

A a neck sufferer, I am not going to refer you to another private or NHS specialist.

I damaged my spine, including a C5/c6 whiplash in an accident as a teenager.

I will not go into the lengthy details and this last year has been very difficult at times but some 30 years later, my neck is getting much better. It cracks several times a day sometimes and the pain is getting less and less.

Hold onto hope.

SnowyPea

Thanks RAS. I have problems with my C4 area. The doctors/surgeons/back specialists/acupuncturists/chiropractitioners.. all of them don't know what's wrong with me or how I can 'fix' the problem.

What I have established is that I've got degenerative discs in my neck - a genetic disorder since birth. I'm unlucky in that the worn discs have started to cause pain but with no affect on my nerves.

Therefore I can't have any surgery. I don't think I made it any easier after I fell over badly whilst snowboarding and whiplashed my neck!! I did that again on my recent holiday in Andorra. Which wasn't nice. We never learn do we!

I used to hold onto hope. But my last consultation just confirmed what I was struggling to accept. That I've just got this for life. Luckily I have a nice life and I can find ways to cope. It could be worse. But I've reached the age of 30 without having anything majorly wrong with me.

It can be very hard though. No one really understands - which I can't blame them. It's not a visible ailment as such. It gets little sympathy. Particularly as I remain active and go to the gym. It's difficult to explain that exercise makes the pain almost go away.

But for 30 years!! You've been very brave. I hope you don't have to go through too much pain. In a way though, it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.

I can strongly recommend Pilates and working out every day if you can. It really helps to release the muscles that obviously tense up in our necks and cause more issues.

Many thanks for your kind words.

SP

SnowyPea

Just on another note - I've been reading back my replies and I've noticed how defensive I have been. Isn't it funny how we let pride get in the way of money and admitting our problems.

I don't think it's denial alone that I'm going through. I think it's a survival tactic I've established. Assuming that everything is going to be ok is far less frightening than admitting how much debt I'm in.

We added everything up tonight and it's a lot. But manageable. Still it's a lot and we really need me to get a full time job again.

I've poured my heart out this evening and we've got a 12 month plan established. We've decided that we're not going snowboarding next January. We're not allowed to. This year's snowboarding trip cost us £2,000. It was a fantastic holiday but one we can't afford to do again.

I think we've both been in denial that we've got all this debt and really - instead of thinking it's covered and allowing the direct debits to go out of our accounts every month... We should be snowballing them. Over-paying and getting rid of them asap!

I want to know what it feels like to have no debt. I've not known that feeling since I was 18 years old. I'm now 30 and you know what - I haven't even begun to pay off my student loans?!! It's crazy!

I am so determined. So hugely determined and your stories of success have inspired me and made me realise that it isn't ok.. or normal to spend money and buy new things. It's actually us falling for consumerism over and over again. We're more intelligent than that!

I mean. One thing I'm proud of is that we haven't got one of these flat screen TVs because we see it as a waste of money - having already inherited a perfectly good TV from our parents.

We've got everything we could ever wish for. A roof over our heads, food on the table, a nice bed... the chance to feel safe. How many people can say that in the world? How many people can say they're comfortable?

I feel utterly hideous with myself for being so pathetic over the past 12 years and not making better use of my money. Thank god I've woken up and realised where I want us to be.

In 12 months time I want half our overall debts gone - at the very least.

I'm confident we can do it. But first of all I need that job!

Night x

Karmacat

Snowy, just read your last post with a *lot* of sympathy - sometimes when you get a lot of replies on your thread quickly it can feel overwhelming .... when you get feedback in several areas, sometimes quite detailed, it feels like criticism. Its not! For me, when someone comes on the boards who has a real chance of getting free and clear, I want to encourage them in every way - you say you're confident you can do it - I'm confident you can too!

And you're not hideous, and you're not pathetic. I'd never have tagged myself as someone who fell for the consumer society, but when I really got into a hobby about ten years ago, I did, it was .... strange. But I realised, and you have too.

You're confident! You're a good earner! Safe, determined, inspired - those are some of the words in your last post, and you're right. Go for it!

chevalier

I think the point about asking about the joint bills bit, is that if you spend £2000 on a holiday (which to put into persepctive is pretty much my food budget for a year for a family of four), then you may not be being very savvy with your fixed costs.

Ie if you and OH have had the same insurer for pretty much any type of insurance for several years, I can pretty much guarantee that you will be able to get it cheaper via a different providers. If you find a new provider and buy it via a cash back site like www.quidco.com, or www.topcashback.co.uk then you will get money back on the deal too.

Same with food budget. If you spend any more than £200 a month for two of you on food, household items, and hygiene items then it is too much. I bet it means a lot of the food you buy goes into the bin as waste.

As for clothes. I am at completely the opposite end of the spending spectrum to you. I got given some money specifically for clothes buying and I have only spent a quarter of it since xmas. And that was things that needed replacing really too. It is far better to look in the posh area's charity shops and get classic pieces for peanuts and then accessorize rather than buy the new look every year.

Sorry if this is a bit harsh, but just another point of view. I would find your spending incomprehensible (but then going snow boarding with a bad neck i find surprising anyway), but then you would probably find my book addiction equally incomprehensible. (However my book addiction is now fuelled by the library and funded in other areas by ebay sales!!!)

The email address for freecycle is www.freecycle.org. You have to sign up to a local group. But you can get pretty much anything on there if you look each day.

I think the best tip anyone has given to me was to put a picture of something I really wanted in my purse, so that when I went to pay for some 'stuff' the picture would remind me that i didn't need it.
chev

good luck with you journey.

SnowyPea

Thanks Karmacat! That last post was at about 2.30am wasn't it! I obviously couldn't sleep! I think I HAVE to be harsh on myself. I've stuck my head in the sand for far too long and I just have to slap myself in the face. It's the only way I'll stop spending! Facing up to reality.

If I get this dream job I've got an interview for... We'll have solid income again and that will bring peace of mind. But what it will also do is give me lots of spare cash every month. I also have one freelance client who pays me on a retainer.. this is £800 a month. My only source of income at the moment.
But that client is happy for me to continue working for them once I'm back in full time work. Great isn't it!

So that means potentially - if I got this job - I'd have £1,700 spare every month!!! That's after £1,500 outgoings.

I drew up a plan last night and looked at our combined debts. A total of £35k all together. There I said it.

I'm going to give myself a 12 month challenge. That £1,700 is going to be spent wisely. I'm going to snowball my £8,500 Egg loan - adding £500 a month to it.

I'm also going to pay off my student loans at £500 a month. If all goes according to plan and I keep the same income for the next 12 months - then I'll have paid off £16,000!!! That's just me on my own!

I know my partner will pay off his small Egg loan of £2,500... And he'll sort the joint account overdraft out at £2,500. He'll also make dents in his £1,000 credit card. I can leave him to that.

Even if I lose that £800 freelance work - my spare cash would still be £900 and I could still cope with paying off both of those loans in 12 months.

It's all worked out in my head. I've allowed myself some spare cash to squirrel away and of course to have a life. I.e. £50 a month to see friends. £50 on clothes. But I'm going to physically take out £100 in cash... and put it in a jar in the kitchen. Every month - we'll use only what's in that jar to spend on going out/entertainment etc.

It's my new found obsession. 12 months seems like a long time but it'll fly by and before we know it - our outgoings will reduce, we'll have more money every month - more to save and add to pensions and to achieve our goals of having children!!

Chevalier - my partner and I have been on holiday fourteen times in the past two years... We've been to Oslo, Stockholm, France three times.. we've been snowboarding two times.. we've been to Spain... Greece... I've been to Australia for three weeks to see family.

We've had both our bathrooms done! We've bought expensive snowboarding gear. Bought clothes. Bought new bicycles.. one was over £1,500. It's my partner's main hobby! Long distance cycling.

We are high earners.. until my freelance work cut back drastically before Christmas. So we would spend and spend.

I think we went a little mad because I lost two friends the previous year. Both died within two weeks of each other. One killed himself and the other got knocked down. It was an awful time.

Add that to my neck problems (And yes - foolish to go snowboarding when you risk making it worse but even my surgeon says I need to carry on living life to the full)... and I think I had the attitude 'You only live once!' And we did lots of travelling, spending and treating ourselves.

And so here we are. We've had our fun and it's time to pay it off.

We are going to sit down and go through all out outgoings tonight. Any money we save we're going to use as over-pay on our main AA loan.

Thanks again SP

Bone_Idle

SnowyPea wrote: »

I'm also going to pay off my student loans at £500 a month. If all goes according to plan and I keep the same income for the next 12 months - then I'll have paid off £16,000!!!

Hi SnowyPea :wave:

Just a quick point from me - and sorry if someone else has said this already - but you might be better off leaving the student loan and tackling the other debts first, just because it's probably at a much lower rate than anything else. It's great that you want to tackle this, and it sounds like you've got loads of motivation, but it might be easier to throw everything at the Egg card and the other things first! But a great start! :T